Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
September 18, 2014
OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS • TOP LIBERALS STRESS DIPLOMACY WHEN NEGOTIATING WITH EBOLA VIRUS • THE PERRY INDICTMENT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT, BESIDES WE NEED A PERRY PRESIDENTIAL RUN...IF NOT FOR YOURSELF, DO IT FOR COMEDY! • I BELIEVE THAT THE "ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE" SHOULD ONLY BE MET IN WHITE T-SHIRTS AND NO BRA • THE MOST CONSERVATIVE CITY IN U.S. IS MESA ARIZONA • IN RELATED NEWS: THE BIGGEST SHITHOLE IN ARIZONA IS MESA •
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Kallisti Publishing
Presidential All Seeing Eye

Kiester Island

Khamenei Rork and Tattoo Ahmadinejad

Bill Clinton and his Asian Harem

Obama squares of with Gandalf the Gray over Health Care

Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned, Danish Mohammed cartoons for sale

Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing

Moe-hammad
The Hand of God
Buy Jack Primus NOW!!!
Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
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Giant Joint Image "Worth Its Weed in Gold" to Discord Photoshopper
Giant Joint Image "Worth its Weed in Gold" to Discord Photoshopper

Flagstaff, AZ—The Discord always posts original material and yet the unpopular eZine continues to ignore any and all internet image copyright laws. "With contempt," added the Discord’s CEO Peirce Winslow. "We hate those things. Images should be free, like porn or firearms."

The head of the Discord’s legal counsel, Anthony Ballz of the Ballz, Ballz, Ballz and Bone Law Firm explained, "Most images are labeled Royalty free, which translates into legalese as ‘ours’ and I think it also means it’s in no way affiliated with the English Royal family. This particular image, which Zano swiped from Bing Images while intoxicated, is called a rights-managed image. We prefer to call these site’s-owned images, so they’re on our site so fuck off.  For legal precedent see Man with Face Passed Out in Urinal vs. That shit we posted last week."


Danzig, Black Sabbath and Jesus
By Tony Ballz
Tony Ballz

Step into the Wayback Machine, Sherman, and set those dials for the glory daze of Flagstaff's punk scene, about ‘93-‘94ish. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Life in The Mothership with me, Dave N, and our rotating third roommate wasn't all dance parties, cheap drugs, getting loaded with touring bands, casual sex with high school girls, and running down O'Leary street naked in the snow.


Grand Old Party to Ban Every Smarty
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

Say bye bye to those science guys. A recent poll showed a whopping 94% of all active scientists do not identify themselves as republican. What I want to know is: who is this other 6%? Should we hunt them down and confiscate their Bunsen burners? Step away from that particle accelerator slowly, sir.


Missing Immigrant Children Smuggled to Swing States Via Metro-ground Railway
Missing Immigrant Children Smuggled to Swing States via Metro-ground Railway

Washington, DC—The White House is under heavy scrutiny today as allegations suggest the Obama’s are housing the missing children from Central America in The White House. They are then believed to be funneling these illegals into key election states for the mid-terms.

It is believed Obama’s broader plan is to use an executive order to declare amnesty for all illegals and then decrease the voting age to six. Through a system of Clockwork Orange-style programming the Obama’s hope to ensure Democratic election victories for many years to come. 

Earlier today Barack and Michelle were found with a long line of Honduran children in the Rose Garden. When a reporter asked about the children, they quickly showed them inside. The President then explained how they were conducting an impromptu Easter egg hunt. When Mr. Obama was reminded that Easter is in April, the President became defensive.


Rhyolite Nevada: a Place That Makes Other Ghost Towns Seem Bustling
By Bald Tony
Bald Tony

For several months Mick and I were planning a trip to Great Basin National Park.  Alex Bone thought this was kind of funny.  You see, Alex is a true outdoorsman, a throwback to another century, a man's man who makes Grizzly Adams look like Martha Stewart.  Alex's advice was to stay on the marked trails while wearing bright clothing and warned us about entering the back country.  Fine with me.  While I actually like spending time outdoors, my idea of roughing it is staying at Bellagio when the Aria is booked.


Is She No Better Than a Republican?
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

I hate to pile on the Clinton Administration before it even gets out of the Benghazi-gate, but Hillary is either as clueless as the rest of the chicken-hawk republicans or she’s pandering to a parallel universe in hopes of some votes.  Either way she’s losing me and ‘so goes the Zano so goes the election’. Okay, no one says that.

Draco Malfoy to Head Next Benghazi Witch Hunt
Draco Malfoy to Head Next Benghazi Witch Hunt, Witness claims not all documents handed over to 9th committee. 10 points for Slytherin!
Witness claims not all documents handed over to 9th committee. 10 points for Slytherin!
 
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Bigfoot Exonerated for Ripper Deaths!
Bigfoot Exonerated for Ripper Deaths! Scotland Yard: "And he's pissed"
Scotland Yard: "And he's pissed"
 
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Sith Lord Revealed! Cheney Controlling President Through Darkside
Sith Lord Revealed! Cheney Controlling President Through Darkside, Good news: Halliburton stocks soar today
Good news: Halliburton stocks soar today
 
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In Show of Strength Obama Hoists Severed Head of Boehner on Meet the Press
In Show of Strength Obama Hoists Severed Head of Boehner on Meet the Press, And, yes, Boehner was crying
And, yes, Boehner was crying
 
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Bands of Angry Displaced Cactus Roaming the Streets
Bands of Angry Displaced Cactus Roaming the Streets, The only basement in Phoenix floods!
The only basement in Phoenix floods!
 
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Joan Rivers, Best Known for Her Role in the Muppets Take Manhattan, Is Dead at 81
Joan Rivers, Best Known for her Role in the Muppets Take Manhattan, is Dead at 81, Can we blog?
Can we blog?
 
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Hackers Refusing to Release Naked Zano Pics
Hackers Refusing to Release Naked Zano Pics
 
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Dated Discord
Kazoo Legend Slim Addelson Inducted Into Kazoo Hall of Fame
Kazoo Legend Slim Addelson Inducted into Kazoo Hall of Fame

Jackson, MO—When you think of the word Kazoo, only one name comes to mind...well, besides that little green alien from The Flintstones. Kazoo giant Slim Addelson was finally inducted into the Kazoo Hall of Fame in Jackson, Missouri this weekend. The 2002 blackballing of Addelson involved an incident involving a lobster fork and some bottom-shelf bourbon. When asked if he felt this accolade was long overdue, Addelson said he holds no grudges, "I don’t hold any grudges. Can’t you read the bleepin’ narrative?!"

Addelson’s long time agent, K.Z. Oooo, agreed, "Forgive and forget is Addelson’s motto, especially the forget part. Why did he have access to a lobster fork and a flask during happy hour in the first place? Today it’s all water under the bygones. But old Slim is the Hendrix of the Kazoo and the Beatles of Kazoo song writers, so he deserves this honor. Who could forget the Tao of Kazoo, Kazoo Bayou, Mötley Kazöo and, my favorite, Tattoo Kazoo You? Yeah, fuck that little green guy from The Flintstones. What did he ever do for the Kazoo?"


Who’s More Serious About Climate Change? ISIS IS!
By Pokey McDooris
Pokey McDooris

These sissy environmentalists are all talk and no action. It's time to save this planet! The scientific consensus agrees that Climate Change is the greatest crisis threatening the world. President Obama promises to violate the Constitution by bypassing Congress to sign a UN Treaty to curb carbon emissions. I say it's time to stop pussy footin' around the subject. Let's get to the root of the problem by employing ISIS's five steps to Beat Climate Change.


Prescott’s Haunted Hotel St. Michael: Oops, Ghost Found
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

This is going to sound really stupid, but a ghost messed up my whole spoof ghost investigation. You see, the operative word is ‘spoof’. I have a bad reputation to uphold. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I have an understanding with the supernatural; it leaves me alone and I leave it alone. I hang out in haunted places, hear some cool ghost stories, do some sightseeing and then make a bunch of shit up for this blog. You’ve read the stories. So whatever the hell was messing with me at the Hotel St. Michael, kindly get an afterlife! Click full story for ghostly images.


Discord CEO Moves All Reporters Into a 1957 Winnebago
By Alex Bone
Discord CEO Moves All Reporters into a 1957 Winnebago
Alex Bone

Rest Area outside of Bullhead City—In an effort to cut expenses and help fund his second home in Bermuda, CEO Pierce Winslow has moved the entire Discord reporting staff into the old Winnebago his grandmother left him. No less than a dozen reporters, six children, eight significant others, eleven cats, four dogs, twenty-six snakes, a full bar with keggerator, an eight-foot statue of Yig and seventeen cubic-feet of crawdad traps will be living and working from a space roughly the size of Winslow’s guest’s guest bathroom.


Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
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This Day in Future History: President Perry Bombs U.N.
This Day in Future History: President Perry Bombs U.N.

Manhattan, NY—President Perry launched a preemptive strike on the United Nations headquarters earlier today. Perry is calling the collapse of the nearby Queens Midtown Tunnel "unfortunate collateral damage." President Perry went on to say, "There are three reasons I leveled the United Nations today: 1. it’s becoming increasingly clear the U.N. does not have the sole interests of America in mind. 2. they keep calling the death of every last Gazan "Israeli genocide"—which is simply not the case as several Gazans are still alive in prisons and museums—and number 3.... ah ...umm. I think it had to do with midtown parking."


Parmesan Cheese Newest Tool in Battle Against Drug Addiction
By Alex Bone
Parmesan Cheese Newest Tool in Battle Against Drug Addiction
Alex Bone

In one of the most unexpected moves of his presidency, Barack Obama announced how America’s Drug addiction recovery funds will be transferred to a new and radical drug treatment that involves the use, and misuse of Parmesan Cheese. The FDA is now parmed and dangerous as methadone treatment centers and the like across this grate country are being supplied with high grade parmaceuticals.

Dalai Discord Recruits Lama!
Dalai Discord Recruits Lama! In related news, Dalai Lama's Wisdom Questioned
In related news, Dalai Lama's Wisdom Questioned
 
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A Theory Emerges From Ancient Astronaut Ornithologists
A Theory Emerges from Ancient Astronaut Ornithologists
We didn't say it was a good theory.
 
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Burger King Abandons U.S. for Canada!
Burger King Abandons U.S. for Canada! But wait until you try their new Back Bacon Burger!
But wait until you try their new Back Bacon Burger!
 
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Rand's Brand Banned in Fox Land
Rand's Brand Banned in Fox Land
 
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Another Controversial Discord Ad
Another Controversial Discord Ad, For this one, we immediately called the Ross Foundation and turned ourselves in
For this one, we immediately called the Ross Foundation and turned ourselves in
 
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Putting the 'Fun' Back Into Fundamentalism
Putting the 'Fun' Back into Fundamentalism
 
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Orson Calling Mork: Orken Spacecraft Surround Earth!
Orson Calling Mork: Orken Spacecraft Surround Earth! “Mankind must return body of Mork or face utter annihilation,” — Orson
“Mankind must return body of Mork or face utter annihilation,”
— Orson
 
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Discord Videos
Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
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Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Subscribe to the Discord
 Search Truth Quest: Part 1 EP1: Chud Vendetta
 Camera Down! Now Maybe He'll Have Some Time for Our Editing.
 Discord One Step Closer to Pulitzer for Beiber Coverage
 Discord's Daily Discharge
More Videos...
Decrepit Discord
 Obama Asks Bush About That Mission Accomplished Banner
 Flagstaff’s McMillan Pub: the Good, the Bad, and the Zano
 Lauren Bacall, Best Known for Her Role in Scooby-Doo: the Goblin King, Is Dead at 89
 Homer's Touching Tribute to Robin Williams
 Malaysia Unveils Plans for New Global Rail System
 Discord Moment of Silence for Robin Williams
 Christie Warns: "I Will Shoot the Next Reporter Who Mentions Bridgegate in the Face"
 I’m Not Joining the Discord, Zano, so Kindly Fuck Off!
 Obama Denies Ordering Airstrikes on Iraq
 Search Truth Quest: Part 1 EP1: Chud Vendetta
 Gaza Psychologist Just Doing End of Life Therapy
 Negativity Bias, Interpersonal Circumplexes, and Other Political Psychobabble
 Homer Simpson: the Most Interesting Meme in the World
 Another Shopper Vanishes Into the Bloomingdale Triangle
 Bloom Vs Bieber: High Elf Vs Low Life
 Artificial Self-Esteem Bolstering for Dummies
 Theory Emerges After Appearance of Third Siberian Sinkhole
 Man Taken Aboard the Loch Ness Monster by Alien Bigfoots
 Discord Interpretation of Recent News Headline Questioned
 The Forces of Yig Gain Major Foothold in the Crawdad Apocalypse War
 Local Teen Sleuths Solve Casey Case-um
 To Summarize the Distraction That Is the GOP
 Immigrant Children Transformed Into Renewable Energy Source
 Russia Standing by 10-Minute Rocket Launcher Tutorial for Rebels
 Mizpah Hotel in Tonopah: Ghost Adventures V Ghost Blunders
 Impeachment: You're Doing It Wrong
 Yes, It’s All Part of a Vast Left Wing Conspiracy, Called Thinking
 This Just in From Crank Headquarters
 Read Between the Lies
 Secretaryian Violence Increases in Syria
 The 2-Million Tons of Unaccounted for Plastic in Our Oceans Found
 Women Will Eventually Rule: Zano Interpretation of the Ukraine Ceasefire
 The Iraq War and the Edge of Harshness
 What Were Republicans, Daddy?
 Obama: the Worst President Never
 The Day Obi-Wan Really Started to Worry About His Apprentice
 Gays Forcing Nationwide Califabulous
 Sarah Palin Speaks...Badly
 Breaking Vlad?
 Stewart Destroys Discord in Daily Show Diatribe
 Breaking: Alex Bone Has an Alien Chest-Buster Living Inside Him
 GOP Now Deems ‘Painfully Obvious’ Comments Insightful
 Apology VXIC: Yes, We Can No Longer Count This High in Roman Numerals
 After Supreme Court Ruling Discord Mistakenly Attacks Chick-fil-A
 GM Claims Fiery Crash New Feature Not Design Flaw
 Ah, to Be a Republican Website for a Day
 Guided by Voices: Crescent Ballroom, Phoenix 6/15/14
 Should the Discord Have an Age Limit?
 Mount Rushmore: What Went Right and Wrong
 Battle of Biden Hill: Poor Poor Pitiful D?
 Oil Tanker Sinks Off Coast of Japan: No Monsters Take Responsibility
 Syria Disarms, Despite Republican Opposition
 Benghazi Is an Important Scandal: a Republican One
 Guy Named Francis Excommunicates Mafia?
 GOP Unveils New Plan to Take Back White House
 Sage-like Prophets Predict Iraqi Problems...in 2007
 Who Is the Sith Lord and Who Is the Sithy Boy?
 Give Them Exactly What They Deserve
 Discord Standing by Their Controversial Kasem Coverage
 Bettman Refuses to Relinquish Cup!
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