Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
December 18, 2014
OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON POISONOUS FLORIDA CATERPILLAR • PELOSI: REPUBLICANS ENDANGER CIVILIZATION • ZANO: PELOSI HAS RARE, ACCURATE STATEMENT • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND SHIT FOR THIS MARQUEE/TICKER THING, ZANO! JESUS, WHAT AM I NOT PAYING YOU FOR? —PIERCE WINSLOW • OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS • TOP LIBERALS STRESS DIPLOMACY WHEN NEGOTIATING WITH EBOLA VIRUS •
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The Chronicles of Jack Primus Book 1
Presidential All Seeing Eye

Kiester Island

Khamenei Rork and Tattoo Ahmadinejad

Bill Clinton and his Asian Harem

Obama squares of with Gandalf the Gray over Health Care

Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned, Danish Mohammed cartoons for sale

Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing

Moe-hammad
The Hand of God
Kallisti Publishing
Final Thoughts on the Culture War Zano Debate
By Pokey McDooris
Pokey McDooris

When all is said and done, history will suggest how the Fort Hood tragedy was the result of a reprehensible video pertaining to workplace violence. The real tragedy is how our general population has succumbed to this disingenuous narrating of events that so easily sacrifices truth and integrity for the whims of political ideology. The peaceful protestors in Ferguson and throughout this nation don't show any concern for what actually occurred. Their leaders haven’t given them any role models or much incentive to even care. It’s like Mr. Winslow’s Christmas gifts.


Pokey V Zano: Our Culture War for Dummies
By Cokie McGrath
Cokie McGrath

I did very little actual moderating for this one, none actually, but I agreed to review a challenging email exchange between Pokey McDooris and Mick Zano. I cleaned it up a bit and took out all the more colorful metaphors, terroristic threats, as well as any and all references to midget porn. You owe me, Zano, big time.


GOP Turns Focus of Benghazi Investigation to Giant Rock Near Spain
GOP Turns Focus of Benghazi Investigation to Giant Rock Near Spain

Gibraltar, Rock of—Since all 265 previous Benghazi hearings found no evidence of wrongdoing, Darrell ISSL (R-CA), previously Darryl ISIS, is shifting focus of the investigation to what he is terming the post-Benghazi phase. The GOP is encouraging everyone to "buckle up" as this round of witch hunts are bound to be as obnoxiously wrong as the rest of the Benghazi hearings—not to mention the pre-Benghazi and the pre-post Benghazi lines of questioning.

Issa told the Discord’s Cokie McGrath, "Now that we have asked all those questions we knew were untrue and meaningless, in a sense we’ve gotten them completely out of the way. So this shit is about to get real...and by real I mean even more fecal in nature."


Polarization Nation Watch
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

I want all eleven members of the Zano Nation to pull out your pens, your Microsoft Word programs, and your inhalant-ready-markers (IRMs). There’s going to be a test. We are now officially a divided country and for those coming late to the party, fear not, I already have a solution. Gin! But we must garnish this batch of fermented junipery goodness with the pimento-filled olives of Freedom! Shaken not slurred. Yes, the Discordian Zanofesto has arrived, just in time for Christmas.


Republicans Accuse God of Being "Weak on Terror"
Republicans Accuse God of being "Weak on Terror"

Rome, IT—Earlier today, his Holiness the Pope called for all Muslim spiritual leaders to condemn terrorism. Republican leaders from all over the heartland voiced their extreme displeasure with the Pope’s radical approach to extremism. They are calling it "un-American" and "ungodlike" and "unnatural." Many in the GOP feel the Pope is acting a lot more like Barack Obama lately and a lot less like he should be, aka uneducated.

John Q. Republican said, "How do you account for these Biblical discrepancies? I mean these, not the ones in the actual Bible. Is the Pope mixing up his political messages with God or is God weak on terror? There has always been a close link between conservative thought and the smiting-shit parts of The Bible. Was it not Jesus who turned the tables on the money changers? He was the first Galilee Partier. Heh, heh, get it?"


Dems Distance Themselves Further From Strengthening Economy
Dems Distance Themselves Further from Strengthening Economy

Washington, DC—The last two quarters marked the strongest six months of economic growth in over a decade. The news could not have come at a worse time as Democrats are already struggling with a new wave of Obamacare enrollments as well as an unemployment rate plummeting below 6%.


S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman
S.T.Q. EP 2: The Ghosts of Oatman
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Big Government Is Bad but Big Government Torture Is Glug, Glug, Great!
Big Government is Bad but Big Government Torture is Glug, Glug, Great!

The Heartland—According to a recent poll, Dick Cheney and the rest of our not-ready-for-prime-time citizens now condone torture. Cheney defended his use of enhanced interrogation techniques by saying he would "do it again in a minute." This turned out to be another lie as new allegations suggest he has never actually stopped. "As it turns out, they never did revoke my retinal scan access over on Black Pod 3," explained Cheney.

Senator John Q. Republican told the press today, "As my record will attest, I do not trust the government, but I would allow them the discretion to pick me or anyone else up off the street, without due process, and send me to a secret prison indefinitely, with no trial, to be subjected to walling, sleep deprivation, waterboarding and rectal feeding, because I’m an American, damn it...but affordable health care for all? Are you kidding me? Those are death panels."


Einstein’s Special Theory of Terrortivity
Einstein’s Special Theory of Terrortivity
 
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Conservative Think Tank Discovers Way to Get Plastic Bags Right From Your Store to a Dolphin's Face
Conservative Think Tank Discovers Way to get Plastic Bags right from your Store to a Dolphin's Face
 
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Fox News Reacts to Allegations of Torture
Fox News Reacts to Allegations of Torture, Remember, there’s no "IQ" in "Team America"
Remember, there’s no "IQ" in "Team America"
 
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Lack of Evidence Only Emboldens Benghazi Truthers
Lack of Evidence Only Emboldens Benghazi Truthers
 
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The Grand Old Potty
The Grand Old Potty
 
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Final Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled!
Final Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled! The Crapture? Copaccabaniastes Ch. 2
The Crapture? Copaccabaniastes Ch. 2
 
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Dated Discord
Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair
By The Crank
Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair
The Crank

At this point in my life I have been instructed by my orthopedist that I will not fare as good as my Mom did with the arthritis. In my case, if nothing is done it will kill me, and sooner rather than later. The scoliosis in my lower back is bad but not terminal. My neck is another story. Over the years I have graduated from one big chin to many big chins. Of course I realized this is partly because of Pasta and Twinkies, but also because for some reason I was losing height in my neck area.


Interview With the Zanblogger
By Cokie McGrath
Cokie McGrath

The Discord’s CEO Pierce Winslow asked me to hunt down Mick Zano to conduct an important interview. The boss-man is based out of Philly and he wants to get to the bottom of some recent disturbing trends occurring here in the southwest. He’s worried about some of Zano’s cryptic emails, his strange business receipts, the lack of viable material and his increased bail requests. It begs the question, has Zano completely lost his mind after the midterms? So I agreed to track him down and get some answers, for a small fee.


Charlie Manson Upgrades Forehead Tattoo
Charlie Manson Upgrades Forehead Tattoo

Corcoran State Prison, CA—In a move that many are calling overdue, mass murderer Charles Manson is finally changing his toon about his tat.  This will not change the minds of the California parole board and, as Manson attests, is not even an indication he’s moving away from Neo-Nazism. Manson describes the original tattoo as a symbol misunderstanding made long ago.

"I found out this thing that’s been on my forehead for over half a century is actually the ancient Hindu symbol for well-being," said Manson. "Can you believe that shit? Talk about a slap in the face. It’s enough to make a guy want to spit, which is really one of the only things to do here in prison."


Dear Hollywood, Please Get Post-Apocalyptic Vegas Right!
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

What is wrong with Hollywood?! The off base depictions of Las Vegas after the blast is really starting to bother me, like diner food. Have you ever noticed that, post some catastrophe or another, Las Vegas instantly turns into the Sahara Desert? Sure there’s a Sahara Avenue but there is no way Vegas will become Lawrence of Arabia six months into some zombie apocalypse.


Reptilican Virus Spreading in the Elderly
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

Sure Ebola is a big problem, if you live in West Africa, but here in the good old U.S. there’s a more insidious virus infecting our populous. Conservative "thought" is now airborne and spreads through only a couple of powerful media sources. It can trigger an immediate emotional response from the more primitive centers of the brain, akin to a brain fart. The Limbaugic system?


Zano’s 21 Day of Self-Imposed Ebola Isolation Deemed 'Job Avoidance' Stunt
By Mick Zano
Zano’s 21 Day of Self-Imposed Ebola Isolation Deemed 'Job Avoidance' Stunt

Flagstaff, AZ—Discord staffer, Mick Zano, was cleared of the Ebola virus earlier this week by a nurse he hired by the hour from Vegas. The story of his exposure to the deadly virus unraveled shortly thereafter. His 21-day isolation at McMullen’s Pub was all part of a stunt that started out as a bet—with the same nurse he hired by the hour from Vegas.  Zano reported traveling to Liberia to cover a breaking story for The Daily Discord. CEO of The Daily Discord, Pierce Winslow, arranged for the expedition for what was billed as a story on climate change’s impact on the predatory West African mangrove. Winslow grew suspicious, however, when Zano arranged a Skype session, wherein Zano claimed to be in Sierra Leone but Winslow could clearly hear a live punk version of "Drunken Sailor" in the background.


The Ebola Spring
By Pokey McDooris
Pokey McDooris

There's been a lot of hate speech directed at the Ebola Virus lately, and I think it’s time for people to stand up for the rights of the Unrepresented Parasiticals. We Americans are so human-centric, talking about containing the Ebola, fighting Ebola, and eradicating Ebola. We’re arming doctors, who seem to know no borders. They are nothing but mercenaries who should pick on someone their own size. The question I want all of you anthropomorphs to consider is this: doesn't the Ebola Virus have rights to?

Team S.T.Q. Asked to Hunt Down Vlad the Impala?
Team S.T.Q. asked to Hunt down Vlad the Impala?
 
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Obama Uses Executive Order to Overrule Turkey Pardon
Obama Uses Executive Order to Overrule Turkey Pardon, Darrell Issa calling for a full investigation of "Turkey-gate".
Darrell Issa calling for a full investigation of "Turkey-gate".
 
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The GOP: Putting the ID Back Into Ideology
The GOP: Putting the ID back into Ideology
 
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Fat Albert and Several Cosby Kids Allege Cosby Abuse
Fat Albert and Several Cosby Kids Allege Cosby Abuse
 
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Stay Calm and Daily Discord
Stay Calm and Daily Discord, We just had an anniversary! Not sure which one.
We just had an anniversary! Not sure which one.
 
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Discord’s Scotland Independence Post Deemed a Hoax
Discord’s Scotland Independence Post Deemed a Hoax "That’s not the groundskeeper Willy of old! Imposter!"<br />—Scotty from Star Trek
"That’s not the groundskeeper Willy of old! Imposter!"
—Scotty from Star Trek
 
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Bush Senior: Wakes up Every Morning in Cold Sweat Asking, "Is George Jr Still in Charge?"
Bush Senior: Wakes Up Every Morning in Cold Sweat asking, “Is George Jr still in Charge?” Reports also having recurring dream of throwing up on Prime Minister of Japan
Reports also having recurring dream of throwing up on Prime Minister of Japan
 
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Discord Videos
S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman
S.T.Q. EP 2: The Ghosts of Oatman
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The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
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 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4:
Speed Powder
 Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
 Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
More Videos...
Decrepit Discord
 Before the Most Interesting Man in the World...
 The Ebola Spring
 Somehow This Captures the Essence of the Midterms
 High Life in the Pines Indie Music Festival: Featuring Lit
 Post Midterms: Discord Reaches Potty Humor Capacity
 Zano: Inconsolable, Sobbing and Refusing to Leave Local Bar
 Republicans Seize the Dung! Crape Diem?
 The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
 Colorado's First Pot Related Fatality
 Congressman’s Protest in Front of Library Ends Poorly
 Typhoid Kaci? Will Obama Authorize Drone Strike on Quarantine-Violating Nurse?
 Jack Primus Thwarts Conservative Attempt to Reanimate Undead Voters
 Introducing the President and Vice President of the United States!
 Please Find Literate Folks to Defend the Constitution
 Second Hanks Lawsuit in As Many Weeks
 A Confused Canada Challenges ISIS to Pick up Hockey Game
 CDC Downplaying Ebola Victims Sudden Craving for Human Flesh
 Let’s Do the Time Warp Again
 Discord Endorses Warren Webb Ticket!
 Is the Constitution Obsolete in This Zano Nation?
 Discord Business Model Switching to "All Cats and Babies"
 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
 Discord Fast Approaching One Ad Per One Lawsuit Ratio
 Hundreds Washed to Sea During Cyclone Protest in India
 Kim Jong Un a No Show for Discord Beer Trek Competition
 Alternate Universe Vindicates Bush
 Discord Get Out the Vote Efforts Questioned
 Applause Trailing Off Mid-Set for Local Coffee Shop Duo
 As the Graham McCain Turns
 Once More Unto the Embassy Breach, Dear Friends
 Calvin and Hannity
 Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi
 Obama Deploys "Special Ebola Task Force" to Dallas
 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4:
Speed Powder
 White House Fence Jumper Squatting in East Room
 Flo Takes Massive Pay Cut Switching to Ailing “News” Blog
 Coalition of the Falling: Ebola Fed Ex
 Putin Annexes Pabst! Pabst Red Ruskies?
 Rise of the Radical Republican?  Boehner Inaction Figure Sold Separately
 Pope Appoints New Arches Bishop
 Is Dropping Ebola Victims on ISIL Brilliant or Diabolical?
 New Ray Rice Elevator Creating Fun and Controversy!
 Obama Creates Coalition of the Good Luck With That
 Scotland! Scotland! Scotland!
 Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
 Draco Malfoy to Head Next Benghazi Witch Hunt
 Bigfoot Exonerated for Ripper Deaths!
 Giant Joint Image "Worth Its Weed in Gold" to Discord Photoshopper
 Sith Lord Revealed! Cheney Controlling President Through Darkside
 Danzig, Black Sabbath and Jesus
 In Show of Strength Obama Hoists Severed Head of Boehner on Meet the Press
 Grand Old Party to Ban Every Smarty
 Bands of Angry Displaced Cactus Roaming the Streets
 Missing Immigrant Children Smuggled to Swing States Via Metro-ground Railway
 Joan Rivers, Best Known for Her Role in the Muppets Take Manhattan, Is Dead at 81
 Rhyolite Nevada: a Place That Makes Other Ghost Towns Seem Bustling
 Is She No Better Than a Republican?
 Hackers Refusing to Release Naked Zano Pics
 Kazoo Legend Slim Addelson Inducted Into Kazoo Hall of Fame
 Dalai Discord Recruits Lama!
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