Trump Tower—Have you heard of Michael Savage? He’s an AM Radio anti-personality host who just compared Donald Trump to today’s Winston Churchill. Having heard his shtick, I always thought The Savage Nation had an IQ point or two above the Limbaughs of the world. Looks like another retraction. If Trump were faced with some Nazi aggression I think this is the speech he would deliver to quell the fears down in Glitter Gulch. I call it We Shall Never Sahara!
Hollywood, CA—The premise of the Naked and Verklempt series strands two naked Hasidic Jews on a deserted island each week to test their survival prowess. Sadly, a Discovery Channel spokesman announced today that both contestants from episode one had died within 48-hours. The producer of the show, Matt Narrows, said, “We’re really sorry about the deaths, but really happy they signed those waivers. We are not looking at this as a failure, because it was a damn entertaining 48-hours for all involved…uh, the deceased and their families excluded.”
I actually enjoyed your last post, Pokey. After all, republican moments of lucidity are becoming increasingly rare, like trans fats. My concern is how you keep missing the main points of our time. You intend to vote R in 2016, yet you’ve failed to notice how the likes of Donald Trump has your party slated for extinction? Mastodonalds? Oh, I see your point, Donald Trump: the “family values” candidate. The Republican Party is no more, my friend. It has expired and gone to meet its Super PAC. It’s voted out its mortal coil, run over the polling station and joined the bleedin’ choir intolerant!! …THIS is an Ex-Party!!
Clearlake, CA— Earlier today a massive wildfire consumed the last water in California. Governor Jerry Brown declared a state of emergency…from Seattle. Witnesses describe Clear Lake as disappearing amidst a fiery inferno of steamy evaporation. This picture was taken right before the fire tornado expanded and swept over the lake, sucking up sharks, wine bars, and countless creatures on Nancy Pelosi’s endangered species list.