So here we go. The newest video game is titled “Rich Assholes Battle Rich Assholes II.” Only it ain’t a game and WE, the sports minded public, are the ultimate losers. The economy is so far down ‘le crappeurre that even the Roto-Rooter guy has given up. We have a Pres that picks his experts like Bristol Palin picks boyfriends. We are now in THREE fucking wars, doing well enough in each to make Nam look like a swell idea. We are all doing more with less, which is why I now have a word count limit—or at least that’s what Winslow is telling me.
Wow, nearly three of your fans got to watch you beat the Chicago Blackhawks this year—your first ever playoff series win since moving from Winni-friggin-peg. Wanna know why? The following is the comedy, the tragedy, and the horror that befell one Coyote fan, namely me, during the 2012 playoffs. Damn Mayans. The Hockey Gods frown on you Arizona! They will now probably relocate to Seattle or Hackensack…and who needs a team out in Hackensack? This post has been sent to NHL Commissioner, Gary Bettman and to Captain Coyote, Shane Doan. They will respect my authoritay!
Today I rant on a subject many know to be true, but few will utter. Most remain fearful of the associated politically correct backlash. Even The Daily Discord initially reviewed this submission and said, “Ahh, Cranko, I danno about dis one.” Who am I kidding? These schmucks will post anything.
Tiger (the name says it all) Woods has been beat up, beat off, ridiculed, and fairly accused of doing what most men can only dream of. To that end I say, All Hail the Tiger! I know many are saying that these are despicable acts he committed that have caused much damage, but, in reality, everyone will be just fine (trust fund me on this).
Can you pay $28.00 dollars for a knee brace sold on-line for $545.00 and feel ripped off? I do, thanks to my last escapade with my son’s Orthopedic Doctors Office, and my insurance company. Bring on government run health care, it can’t be any worse than this, I hope.