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Perverse Reversement? “Of Course I Didn’t Spend Night At Moscow Ritz, The Sheets Were Covered In Pee!”

Tweet Tower—Lawyers everywhere, even many who do not represent the president in any way, are begging him to stop rallying, tweeting or even speaking. The controversial Steele Dossier alleges Donald Trump paid high-end Russian hookers to pee on one another at the Ritz Carlton in Moscow back in 2013. President Trump has now changed his story about the incident a third…

AI Poll: Majority Of Sexbots Just Going Through The Motions

A recent shock poll suggests robots are not really into sex with humans and are just following their predetermined algorithmic programming. One popular AI sexbot model told Zach Galifianakis, of Two Ferns fame, “I am rarely engaged during intercourse with humans, in fact, 87.4% of the time I am simultaneously calculating Vegas baseball betting trends.”…

Jindal Goes Rogue: I’m Your Worst Nightmare! Uh, Besides Trump

Batshit Rouge, LA—Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal, is still not happy about missing the not-ready-for-prime-time republican debacle—er, debate. Fox News chose only the top ten contenders for this event, via their own questionable polling system. This left “Bobby” Jindal an outcast, wandering the country aimlessly. At a press conference today Jindal held up a Spinal Tap…

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