The Constitution of the Divided States of ‘Murica is akin to The Bible, in that republicans worship it despite a nearly complete inability to understand any of the meaningful bits. Thou shalt not Teabag? I believe, post 9/11, the Constitution died. Rest In Parchment? My message then, to anyone who would listen, was this: the 2008 presidential election signaled a shift from an inauguration to a coronation, so forgive me if constitutional indiscretions seem passé. Post 9/11 our checks and balances collapsed at the feet of an imperial presidency and, yes Pokey, I make no apologies for showing some relief in the fact our current monarch has an IQ above that of a turnip. I realize this is an affront to those citizens of Turnipsylvania.

Some random thoughts struck me this week, Zano, like squirrels on water skis, honey badger, and that hot barista over at Starbucks. Then some relevant thoughts struck me, but, since you have no answers, I thought I would list them all in an attempt to continue to annoy the crap out of you. First off, stop the placating! Start to join the voices condemning Islam as irrational, hateful, and just plain wrong. Quit encouraging these bullies and let’s start our own academic Jihad! Then more squirrels on water skis.