Alex Bone

Alex Bone

Alex Bone (Michael D. Griffiths) is a man who likes to keep busy, too bad it mostly involves cleaning squirrels. In the past, his writing has been published in numerous periodicals and anthologies sometimes even published by someone else. He was awarded first place in Withersin’s 666 contest, which he was told will later give him the Golden Ticket tour of the third plane of Hell. He is on the staff of The Daily Discord, Cyberwizard Productions, SFReader, and on the Board of Directors for the Society of Advanced Humans that Seek to Live as Viking Ninjas. His series The Chronicles of Jack Primus is available through Living Dead Press. After being bitten by a zombie, his attentions have turned toward the walking dead and he has begun a new Zombie Apocalypse series called the Eternal Aftermath. When he discovered that he was a cloned from Eric the Red’s DNA, he wrote the Science Fiction series Skinjumpers. Later while experimenting with strange fungus, he slipped into a Fantasy world ruled by the mad mage Dalsala Den.

Top Ten Slogans Rejected By X-Box

Gathering the Top Ten Slogans Rejected by X-Box was a long and difficult process. It’s a thankless job, and payless. But when some of my pale-faced interviewees couldn’t figure out how to light their firewall because they’d never gone camping before, we were able to surround ourselves with all of the women in attendance. Social phobia seems to go hand-in-hand with video addiction. Despite this perk, camping with a bunch of avid gamers is not recommended. They did eventually give up the goods and I uncovered the top ten X-Box slogans that were ultimately rejected:

 

1.     Doing our part to lower teen pregnancy.

2.   Making it even easier to ignore your children since 2001.

3.     Objectifying virtual women in an effort to decrease the objectifying of actual women.

Ghost Town’s Ghost: A WildernessPunk Story

Superior, AZSo this is my new thing, at least for the next month or so, I’m heading out into Arizona’s desert badlands on the days you’re least likely to run into other humans. Some people think you should only explore the desert in the winter. Forget such ideas. One should experience an area’s true nature. You don’t become one with the Saguaros hiking through them in January. This would be like trying to discover Mardi Gras in New Orleans in September. Also, with Phoenix now being the fifth largest city in the US, if one wants a little desert solitaire, you need to avoid the spilling of the masses into the wilds by dodging the weekends. I want to be the only non-local around, Non-local = El Loco.

Adventures in Boneland: The Sex, Drugs, and Punk Rock and Roll Collection

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Over the years I’ve left the bulk of the political commentary to Zano, which I realize now was a yuuge mistake. It’s too hard to keep up. By the time I send Zano an article, it’s dated before he gets it. After being accused of trying to hit on a 14-year-old boy, Kevin Spacy came out of the closet and admitted he was a Republican. See why this is impossible? This joke was already shit on by Al Franken, Trent Franks, and half of Hollywood. So, amidst this wave of allegations and resignations, I’ve decided to stick with and defend what I know: Sex, Drugs, and Punk Rock & Roll. 

Top Seven Reasons A Zombie Apocalypse Would Be Preferable To A Trump Presidency

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For most, a Zombie Apocalypse represents the apex of human fear and dread. But now, under the shadow of a Trump Presidency, many people are looking forward to one. Some groups are going so far as to actively try to trigger such an event. Dr. William Lynn told the Discord today, “We’re pulling out all the stops trying to create a Patient Zero, which will get this whole thing rocking and rolling. We have kind of an all-hands-on-deck mentality going. We would like to have the Zombie outbreak at least started before the next Trump speech or press conference. We are calling our initiative a Z-Nation upgrade.”

The Heimlich Manuever Spews And Don’ts

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Collapsing Motel, Arizona—Either I care about your health and safety, dear reader, or I hope this will get someone to hire me for my mad CPR training skills. Hopefully before I get thrown out of the decency-impaired motel I’m staying in. I’ve been teaching people CPR all over this beautiful state for almost 18 years now and I’ve learned a few things, most of which revolve around how little I would trust the average person to preform CPR on me. The Heimlich Maneuver, that’s another story. If CPR is the horror show, then the Heimlich is the keg party with the wet t-shirt contest. Don’t worry, I’ve never said that in my trainings, except for the drink-friendly versions.

A Room In The Hand Is Worth More Than Sleeping In A Bush

What If Women Were All Stronger Than Men?

e5782b1118e985c87cdfa8b41b8cdf15WARNING: This is the first in a series of 800. What if women were on average twice as strong as men? First off, I should point out why women aren’t currently twice as strong as men. You might think it is so men will be more attracted to them, but you would be wrong. It’s because if they were stronger than us they would have killed off all the men and the species would have gone extinct a long time ago. I think having an incredibly strong woman around might make some things happen more quickly. “I’m going to make a garden, damn it!” A day of gardening would suddenly involve a woman tearing out whole trees and tossing them over a wall. “You, get me some seeds! Right now!”

From Crappiness to Happiness in Three Easy Steps

Bone 4Collapsing Shack, AZ—Most of us have our mental health ups and downs, or as I prefer to call them: 1. drinking or 2. working. Some people certainly have a leg up on the happiness scale. What advantages do they have that I’m missing, besides talent and a life? Between dumpster diving and jamming out to old punk tunes in the dirt, I have discovered what these other Americans have going for them and where I may be lacking. After almost thirty minutes of effort, I have outlined a method to improve one’s happiness. I don’t think it will help me, I am too far gone, but perhaps you, gentle reader, will gain something from all of my hard work …or at least come to appreciate how you’re not as bad off as the old Bone Man.