Butler’s Warf, London—Upset Londoners described “a very loud, non-stop, and quite senseless barrage of artillery fire right in the middle of lunch.” Several pubs in the Butler’s Wharf pier area of central London responded to the attacks that originated from the north side of the Thames earlier this morning. Many are calling the response to the display “unprovoked” as the artillery rounds were simply part of the ceremony honoring yesterday’s passing of Prince Philip. Many local pub patrons, however, are “not having it” and remain incensed by the incursion. The misunderstanding rallied a mob of patrons, mostly from the Anchor Tap Pub, to responded by hurling beer bottles and insults while others recited parts of Churchills’ fight them on the beaches speech. One witness said, “Did you ever see the Movie Cockneys vs Zombies? It wasn’t anything like that.”
Watching the foundations of our republic’s recent rumblings evoked some mixed emotions for this blogger. My sister was furious with my dimsurrection day aloofness. On 1/6 I was more about grabbing the popcorn and watching the show than any angst over our flailing democracy. Look, when you warn of an encroaching problem for decades there’s a certain detachment when said problem finally manifests, in this case in bison-shaman form. I must admit to being a little jealous of our organically grown, free-range seditionist. When the day comes that I storm the Bastille—for the good guys, of course—I hope I can pull off a costume half as epic. He certainly exudes a certain approachable vibe; he’s a snazzy charismatic character, a natural leader, and he prefers organic food. More than any republican politician, journalist, or even your average MAGA-citizen, I believe I can don my cape & banana suit combo, sit down with this man, and bridge our epic ideological divide. Zanonon will grant you an audience, well, provided you make bail.
And where’s that progressive agenda we ordered?! There’s only one way to get progressivism rammed through and I am concerned about unity Joe throwing the hail mary.