Republicans don’t give a damn about free speech; they only want to defend their own bullshit. They’re intent on dismantling our Constitution in the name of greed, and if a side effect of this post-truth world allows for a criminal kingpin to occupy the oval office indefinitely, cest le vie. Caveat emperor? Defending the republican’s right to lie is where the rightwing allegiance to our first amendment begins and ends. They’re not constitutionalists; they’re snake oil salesmen. The GOP is fixated on suppressing voter turnout, keeping America white, expanding the militarized-industrialized complex, and accelerating the disparity of wealth. And amidst that busy schedule, they found the time to dismantle our 1st Amendment. My friend and blogvesary, the Pokester, is pointing to the liberal attacks on our first amendment and, as usual, ignoring the elephant in the room. Wake up! No, really, if you’re supporting a Trump-redo you’ve obviously sustained a serious head injury and if you fall asleep you could suffer a cerebral hemorrhage.
Sure I’ve wondered whether the idiocy part of Donald Trump would save us from his worst authoritarian impulses, but my greater concern was always centered on a society that could elect such a man in the first place and what might spawn from such ideological sewage? Post QAnon’s emergence, one wonders if the Trump base, aka IQanone, might save us from their more terroristic inclinations? After all, this is not your grandfather’s Weather Underground [‘putting on false Ayres’ joke detained by the FBI]. Face it, the fabled ‘Q’ of QAnon is to Bin Laden as the ‘underwear bomber’ is to Muslim terrorism. The mystery MAGA prophet has gotten nothing right to date, from Hillary Clinton’s “imminent arrest” to “the Coronavirus is a hoax,” so he’s a perfect addition to the team. Republicans have made a lifetime of being wrong; it’s second nature to them, so why would their Nostradumbass be any different? Follow your blissful ignorance? The FBI has already classified QAnon as a domestic terrorist group, but if they follow suit with ANTIFA, it’s just politics. Half the country is against fascism and the rest can’t spell fascism. But just how homegrown extremism is this bunch going to get? And who gets elected to the backdrop of these populist delusions? Kidding, Trump stays in power until he dies because the only thing standing between him and some jail bars is AG Barr.
Over Memorial Day weekend I made the mistake of debating members of the family still laboring with the misapprehension that the republican ideology is a thing. For some context, we’ve danced around meaningful discourse for nearly a decade, but for this round I just wanted to convey one final point, namely, we’re past the point of no return for our courts, our constitution, our environment and our economy, so things are about to get much worse for this country on a variety of fronts and, although I love ya’ll, I’m with the North. Or, if you prefer a more schnitzely analogy, I’m with Herr, which was Hindenburg’s 1932 slogan. This is far beyond a covid thing, folks, for those late to the party it’s more of a me-circe-2004-thing. And, yes, I will no longer defend republican thought or even known republican-sympathizers. Yeah, I know the opposite is occurring right now across this country, but I long for the days of a smarter, more progressive fascism. Speaking of which, why is our Attorney General now targeting Latifah anyway? It’s such a confusing world.
Tweet Tower—By now I’m sure you’ve all heard Obama’s ‘leaked’ opinions on the Michael Flynn-effect, and Trump’s “absolute chaotic disaster” of a pandemic response. What finds me on the gobsmacked side of flummoxed is how we, as a country, have entered late-stage democracy with hardly a footnote. We were never going to survive a minor crisis under a republican leadership, let alone a major one, and I would suggest draining the swamp a bit but, now, seeing as how we’ve become fully acclimated Wetland ‘Murican Dwellers (WMDs), such a move would likely leave us all high-n-dry. I used to think the rot could no longer be removed from the republican party, but now I don’t believe you can remove the rot from the good old US of A. But enough about the demise our country, what I find more intriguing is all these SPAM commercials on television lately. Have you noticed? Does it already contain people parts? …you know, to more effectively wean us onto Soylent products? I think it’s a terrible idea. Republicans will never go for anything called Soylent Green, so how about: Soylent Coal, It’s Sheeple.
[Cornholed beef hash joke fried by the editor.]
Tweet Tower—There’s a scourge on this planet and it’s ravaging resources, destroying economies, and costing lives …and it’s called The GOP. What did you think I was talking about? Yesterday’s primary voting in Wisconsin, aka being forced to vote in-person amidst a pandemic, was not only a travesty of justice but it’s a wonderful sneak peek of the November stunts to come. Everyone has the constitutional right to vote, even republicans, but they don’t have the right to bring voter suppression to such a profound level. Oh, I’m being told the Supreme Court backed this? Suprise emoji face. Fine, I guess you do. And today we can’t even assemble to protest this atrocity even if we wanted to. The good news? We don’t want to. They have half the country drinking the Koolaid and the other half sheltered in video game/Netflix streaming-land. Call George Clooney, it’s the perfect misinform.
Tweet Tower—Our third world country is showing again, folks …you know, while no one was voting on principle. The picture should be clear in 2020, we take baby steps away from banana republicanism under D and giant leaps toward a failed state under R. The Fox News talking points during the pandemic ramp up angered me a tad more than usual: The media alone is to blame for the virus and the DOW! Sure the lefties hyped this shitznik to a Spinal Tappian 11, but covering the potential demise of an estimated 1.7 million Americans should rank as newsworthy. But I do like our president’s recent tack, from it’s a hoax, it’s a hoax, it’s a hoax …we’re all gonna die approach to information dissemination. How does that heavy pandemic coverage stack up against our ‘least tests in the West’ approach to containment? Or, maybe the 0.00 percent worth of accurate information coming from our president’s mouth or his twitter feed. Or, our initial haphazard to nonexistent federal response. Who knew gutting agencies and firing everyone with an IQ above a turnip could lead to something like this? Oh, right …everyone with an IQ above a turnip.
Have you heard of Project Veritas? You will. It may soon become more lethal than any pandemic. Under a Zano Administration, this group would be investigated, fined, jailed, and deported—preferably all at once while being waterboarded—but if El Presidente holds power, liberals everywhere will be systematically hunted and prosecuted for the equivalent of political jaywalking. Such partisan targeting is not new, but there’s a bigly difference for this round. Project Veritas is hedging its bets on the reelection of a despot by aspiring to become a new and highly politicized wing of the intelligence community. Let’s call them the Gestapo-lite of our budding new autocracy or the house that William Barr built. This important project is currently headed by Erik Prince, remember him? He started his career as a mercenary for Dick ‘Dick’ Cheney over in Iraq through training groups of so-called ‘peacekeepers’ who specialized in dirty money and war crimes. Prince, like everyone else in Trump’s inner circle, has dubious ties to Moscow, which admittedly is not as bad as having ties to Dick Cheney. Someday soon investigations into suspected treason will become, in and of themselves, treasonous. We are on this very threshold with the pending confirmation of John “MAGA” Ratcliffe to head the Office Director of National Intelligence (ODNI). If you recall—in a way Erik Prince apparently couldn’t during a recent congressional hearing—he lied about his meetings with Russian operatives and likely covered for the president during the Russia Probe. For this loyalty, he was duly rewarded by having all charges dropped by the president’s aforementioned new Roy Cohn. Prince is essentially a hired spook-wannabe for the, uh …let’s dub them The Shallow State. Think of Prince as the right’s Christopher Steele. Check out the Veritas Project website and you too can expose your socialist neighbors to The Shallow State! Seriously, they’re looking for the good kind of whistleblowers out there, you know, the ones who only whistle out of the right side of their cheek. For those still confused, the Blackwater guy, who was named a possible Trumpian co-conspirator by Mueller, got off scot-free so he could start selling Russia was a Nothing Burger merch over at his virtual store. And, if all goes according to plan, he then becomes the next J. Edgar Asshole. Make America Gestapo Again? I really want to email VP with false leads like: Hey, I got pictures of AG Barr humping a beanbag chair. Dude, get back to me on this one. I have my Photoshop team standing by.
Zano Nation, activate, form of authoritarian savior! Despite my last post, I do consider myself a patriot, except during three of the last six Superbowls. At the very least I love this planet, the one on which my country happens to reside. Did I not root for Earth in the movie Independence Day, Earth vs the Flying Saucers, Battlefield Earth, Earth vs The Spider (the original and the MST version), not to mention every War of Worlds movie ever made, even the one with Tom Cruise? Let that sink in for a minute …even the one with Tom Cruise. But today insight itself is shunned, which is just what the giant spider wants! My blogging started as a condemnation of republican thought since as far back as the premiere of American Idol. I still believe, Sanjaya! But, if our democracy is determined to shift toward a more imperial presidency, why not prop up a progressive Ubermensch over a deplorable one? Let’s imagine a world run by a more spiritually-centered, liberal fascist …you know, a better despot, a leader who both lifts and separates …wait, or is that from those Cross Your Heart Bra commercials? If we’re deadset on despotism, let’s upgrade MAGA to Make Autocracies Great Again. Why have an Ass-clown Hitler when we could install a Dalai Stalin, or a Gengis Gandhi, or even a Lenin Lennon?
[I’m being told to stop. I’m being Yoko Amin’d.]