Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.

How Liberals Will Flunk Their Midterms

Three days after my Illiberal Hillbilly post, Bill Maher took up the Olympic ‘Woke’ torch by focusing on the same firing of the Director of the Olympics for a joke he uttered in 1998. Maher mentioned two more incidents that I missed involving another dismissal for ‘bullying in grade school’ and yet another for a private ‘fat’ joke. As per my last post, everyone goes through a bullying stage during their own development, some in kindergarten, others in the third grade, and still others during their first administration. Kidding, he never moved beyond that. Again, denying consciousness growth or basic child development is a mistake on the liberal’s part, potentially a costly one. Maher calls this an ongoing purge. Ya think fat jokes are in bad taste? Wait for Donald Trump’s Grover Cleveland impersonation, because that could be the next act on the docket, kids. Yeah, there’s a lot at stake here. You forget that many red states are shifting blueward. Why derail that trend for crap like this? These examples are from Japan, but it’s the same mindset here that needs addressing.

The Illiberal Billies And The Cultural Hill We Will Die On

Liberals are proof that you can come from a place of compassion, yet still do a lot of damage. No easy trick. For all my pomp and circumrants, I remain a moderate liberal and my ideological drift leftward can be wholly attributed to a reactionary GOP-repulsive force. Electo-MAGAtism? The growing danger the GOP poses to humanity is why I blog, however, today, I’m officially calling out the cultural-warrior-faction of my own party, in Fatboy Slim style, aka Right Here, Right Now. My chief concern with the rise of the Language Police is how the coming Sayless Witch Trials could hand the GOP another underserved victory in the midterms and beyond. Woke, as it relates to supporting diversity is a good thing, but Woke as it devolves into some racist chasing tribunals …well, let’s defund those police before we ever hire them. Language penalties and jail time may well be on the horizon for such offenses. You don’t believe me? It’s already happening in the Great White North. Cancel 2.0 must be kept in check in the good ole US of A. We must encourage a societal shift toward acceptance, diversity, and a more conscientious discourse and yet there’s nothing liberal about punishing people for less than stellar usage issues. What next, the IRS doles out syn-taxing penalties? Does this mean I am rallying outside schools that insist on teaching a more balanced and accurate account of American history? No. In all-or-none thinkingville, many of you have already switched my brand to card-carrying member of Team Batshit, but that is false. I’m just issuing another warning: we have one legitimate political party left in this country and if you fuck this one up, too, there’s nothing here worth fighting for. As I move to post, the head of the Olympic committee over in Tokyo was just fired for a joke. Kentaro Kobayashi was dismissed for using the phrase, “Let’s play holocaust” during a comedy act the same year the X-Files movie aired in 1998. Personally, I am a holocaust joke denier. I don’t think he ever said it, but the truth is out there. In the western world, the green dragon has awoken, sooo how do we slay this beast?

Adding Grand Larceny To The Republican Scorecard

The constant barrage of democracy-widdling republican moments is ceaseless, or at least since I started blogging …in the late 1800s. This week, the highest court in the land green-lighted voter suppression laws and fist-bumped a Dark Money/Big Donor combo package, putting the ‘dick’ back into national jurisdicktion. Unjust for today? The indictments levied against the Trump Organization yesterday pale in comparison to this ruling. But for rightwingers, it’s just another walk in the park. Pack a lun—well, pack something. It makes me want to build a Jewish Space Lasar.

Postcards From The Grassy Knoll

The republican descent into paranoia and madness has plagued me long before the arrival of this current scourge.  I started venting about rightwingers around the time of the Spanish flu, when Woodrow Wilson rather controversially referred to it as the Spic-ey Sick-ey. And, yes, that’s a joke making fun of racists, so you mindless cancelers can fuck off as well. Meanwhile, our MAGA citizens remind me of that old Kinks’ song, Paranoia, self-destoyer. My blogvesary still resides in some Illuminati-style cave under a Free Mason building built on the flat-earthy side of Lemuria. Half of our nation’s citizenry seem lost in the weeds of this grassy knoll. On that fateful day, my friend would have thought, “Now there’s a good Texan, practicing his God-given 2nd Amendment rights. He’s creeping up into the grassy knoll of freedom! But why did Kennedy demand I do something for my country? Sounds like liberal oppression of the highest— [cue the motorcade footage].”

MAGA Journalism And More Fail Pattern Boldness

Cognitive political biases and dissonance go hand and hand with today’s political scheissgiest, but will it be enough to brand this new republican reality? Watching my blogvesary operate lately, well, think Dunning-Kruger meets the Hulk on Testo-Max. Time and time again, I’ve questioned just where this enduring conservative confidence comes from. If I screwed the prognosticative pooch over 90% of the time, I’d like to think I’d be aware of that fact. On the flip side of this phenomenon, I was always concerned that if our rightwing friends ever did sink their teeth into something semi-legitimate, we would literally never hear the end of it. The liberal media has just breathed new life into Qville.

Enter the Wuhan…

The Election Wasn’t Stolen, Your Brains Were

My blogvesary recently inquired into my mission here at The Discord. What are you doing, Zano? Art as entertainment? I actually agree with him on this one, which is why I’ve shifted the bulk of my energies from writing to inventing the first DMT snuff pouch©. This doesn’t change the fact I spent a couple of decades trying to point out this country’s mounting idiocy and our imminent descent on the world stage. Bad management is ultimately bad for business. Who knew? Reaching back toward an ‘industrialized west status’ won’t be easy for this new president, which might explain why my worldview lists toward the septic side of dystopic. But I would like to remind my blogvesary of another of my key predictions; namely, the arrival of you and your ilk, a group impervious to reality, swayed by the yellowist shades of journalism, and forever ready to wage war on reason. So what’s left to discuss after this pack of Unreachables has established itself on US soil? You arrived on schedule, safely. I hope you enjoyed your flight …into madness. I suppose if one glances over to the GOP wreckage, liberal ‘art as entertainment’ sounds nice, at least comparatively. Although, I understand you’re also not good at comparisons either. My friend is currently hyper-focusing on three main conspiracy theories, but not for the reasons he thinks…

Chernobyl Plans To Lift All Distancing And Mask Restrictions

Pripyat, RU—The Chernobyl nuclear power plant, site of one of the worst nuclear accidents in history, has announced its intention to “get back into the gamma *cough* …the game.” In a recent interview with that Two Ferns guy, the #4 Reactor said, “We had a board meeting in March and thought, heck, with all the UFOs, pandemics, populism, and world strife, it’s probably time to climb back on that pale horse. Our facility is pretty safe these days, well, comparatively. We also finalized our new slogan: Chernobyl: Beats Detroit. We really wanted to reopen in 2020, but our project manager had a total meltdown. Ha, ha, ha, yeah, that one never gets old, but it does seem to have a half-life. So come on down and see our grand reopening! BYOB! …which means Bring Your Own Beta-radiation-detector. We are out.”