E Pluribus Fatuus

Just a couple of observations and witticisms from the desk of Mick Zano. I look at today’s politics through a decidedly different lense, one of bemused detachment. It amazes me how I live in a country where nearly 60% of the population believes a Trump presidential run is a nonstarter, yet, despite this fact, we’re still barreling toward a Grover Cleveland scenario. That’s quite the fuxtaposition. Watching Donald Trump’s political career over the years, I can’t help but think he somehow poses a threat to actress Jamie Lee Curtis each Halloween. On the flipside, this same country can’t actually circle back and share the key takeaways of COVID, after 3 plus years. What’s the latest supplement studies saying? What stats are important? What worked and what didn’t? How did we fare as compared to other countries? What’s the prevalence of vaccination side effects? Why are stats shifting sharply to more COVID deaths for those vaccinated? What is the actual fucking plan for the next pandemic? Has anyone in authority discussed this in some highlight-reel fashion? I for one, no longer give a rat’s ass about my local hospital staffing issues or overflow. Most of us here in ‘Murica can’t afford to get fifty feet from such facilities in the first place, so that should keep admissions down, eh Nurse Ratched? Oh, I forgot these are our ‘Heroes.’ Yeah, I finally got COVID last week, tested quickly, and I called my provider to see if I was a candidate for the oral supplement. He said, in not so many words, sure, make an appointment and come in, so: A. we’re beyond the date of relevance for supplemental medication, but B. I can still bill shit. Nice. Ask your doctor if cramming as many billing codes into a seven-minute checkup is right for you.

Certainly some of our precious infrastructure dollars could and should have been earmarked for ED overflow and disaster planning, in general, but to my understanding this did not occur (certainly not in my city). Outside of nuclear war, I don’t think there’s going to be a single massive culling in the near future, but there will be a variety of joyous yule-time mini to mid-sized cullings. So, have yourself a merry little Massexinctmas.

Why did we sit around inside for endless months, anyway? Did that help? I realize many didn’t heed the message, but it will take a much more deadly virus to get people to take such an event seriously. How about taking some notes and squirrel that one away somewhere. Speaking of which, I didn’t listen entirely either, I played disc golf the whole time out in the woods, which was quite illegal at times in certain states. I know, I know, I endangered the health and wellbeing of forest critters. Very irresponsible to moose and squirrel. We were hit with so much information during the pandemic and none of it really seemed relevant, or, more accurately, the relevant parts were buried in a sea of Faucisms. Oh, and good riddance, dude.

Meanwhile, why are republicans so mad at Team Brandon? The EU is screaming at America right now for profiting mightily off Putin’s war. Arm sales to Kiev is booming, while the US is intentionally jacking global oil prices. Nice. it’s going to make this a very Brandon Christmas.

[Missilto joke crated and shipped to the eastern front.]

Lord Reagan couldn’t have done it better. And, Kari Lake, our would-be AZ governor, is finding fault with the midterm election results. Like her dementor, The Donald, she really Nostradamsed these electoral irregularities… well, only if she lost, of course. A recent SNL bit nailed it.

A quick story wrap-up:

I was in a rather conservative bar recently, because, sadly, I live in one of the reddest corners of one of our reddest cities. One fella was talking about how he contracted COVID over a year ago, and never regained his sense of smell. All I could think was, if COVID is a hoax then this man is lying to his republican friends. I wanted to shout: Fake Nose! Pick yourself up by your nostrils, ya hippy! Libs are closing the olfactories and outsourcing the smells to China! Maybe you should rush off to your Sniff Space, ya snowflake! Yeah, instead I just ordered another dark roast and a croissant before tapping more on the keyboard.

If my friend and adversary, Pokey, reads this, he’d say I was shifting toward his position. To some degree, yes, but I have been very critical of how both sides handled COVID, almost since the onset of the pandemic. And as bad a job as Fauci did splainin’ stuff, I would still take his leadership over horse de-wormer and bleach, every time. Regardless of the issue, one side will always be more wrong, and that has remained a constant throughout my blogging career. It is their superpower, and there is zero evidence that that is going change anytime soon.

Peace friends. Take a page from the Zanonater on this one, just kickback and start enjoying the collapse. It’s going to be the greatest show on what’s left of the earth.

 

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.