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Should The U.S. Adopt A Parliamentary Style Of Government?

If America was ever contemplating a major overhaul to its system of government, now would be that time. Think about it, the Brits have the likes of Nigel Farage. I just like saying Nigel Farage. How are we supposed to compete with a system of government that comes complete with names like that? We.Can’t. Our…

Unemployment Drops As Twitter Hires 72K To Attempt To Fact Check Trump

Tweet Tower–Second quarter employment numbers are expected to rise considerably after Twitter announced the hiring of 72K new employees to fact check the president in real time. Twitter is optimistic the new workforce, dedicated entirely to the president’s twitter account, can keep flagging falsehoods tweeted as they appear. The president is reportedly happy about unemployment…

Snowden Killed By Meteorite

Snowden Killed By Meteorite

Moscow, RUS—The official story from the White House is that a six inch meteorite broke through the atmosphere and landed on the head of Edward Snowden at an estimated 30,000 mph. The security personnel transporting him were luckily uninjured as shortly before the strike, they all needed to go to the bathroom.

Critics of the administration are crying foul, believing this was a deliberate drone strike ordered by the White House. President Obama told critics, “People are killed by space debris all the time. Why I myself was almost struck by a piece of Skylab while I was growing up in Kenya. The trick is to know when to duck and Mr. Snowden apparently didn’t.”

The White House has warned the general populace that targeted meteor strikes are likely to increase in the future due to the effects of both global warming and Republican obstructionism.

Pope Summons Kandarian Demons From ‘Evil Dead’ To Combat Trump

Rome—Today the Pope, who usually tends to pooh pooh the intentional summoning of demons, unveiled his controversial plans to take down President Trump with an ancient evil. The Pope apparently stumbled upon the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis in the Vatican while “poking around the basement.” Many fear that since discovering the book, The Pope has become obsessed with it. “It’s a good…

Trump’s A Disgrace, Pokey, Your Party Is A Disgrace & Your Political Prospects Are Winding Down Like A Couch Potato At A Narcolepsy Convention

We do need a counterbalance to liberal excesses, but who’s that going to be exactly? How did you end up on the wrong side of this thing, Pokey? Do you no longer have access to information, or can you no longer process it effectively? Here’s my summary of your last post: you have 1862 and…

How The Hell Do You Make Big Pharma Look Bad? This Guy Managed

It’s not this scandal that’s pissing me off, it’s the coverage of this scandal. Sorry, there’s no such thing as egregious price-gouging in the pharmaceutical industry. Have you Googled the pharmaceutical industry? …you know, since The Google was invented? Have you purchased a newer non-generic medication lately? Ask your doctor if a reverse mortgage for…

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