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Another Mix Up? Trump Releases KFC Assassination Files

Tweet Tower—President Donald Trump told the press today that he will get to the bottom of his administration’s latest mix-up. Soon after the president made the announcement he would be releasing the CIA’s secret JFK files, a staffer accessed the National Archives and released the as yet undisclosed assassination files of Colonel Sanders of KFC fame. Not only did they…

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Trump Deploys Fleet Of Texas Bass Boats To Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico—Texans responded so well to the aftermath of hurricane Harvey that the White House is dispatching the same gutsy boat owners to deal with the impact of hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. President Trump told the press today that Houston residents are prepared to make the nearly 2,000 nautical-mile journey to the island of Puerto Rico in…

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Ancestry.com Reveals The Truth! Heat Miser And Trump Related!

Tweet Tower—An unknown staffer has leaked Donald Trump’s Ancestry.com results to the press. A clear genetic link has been identified between the sitting president and the notorious Heat Miser, of The Year Without A Santa Clause fame. The staffer obviously released the information due to the recent level of coordination occuring between the two. The Heat Miser was the…

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Caliphates and Terror and Russian Bears, Oh My!

Mick Zano

Lately I’ve been getting complaints about the length of my posts, which is better than the usual “stop blogging, asshole!” comments to which I have grown so accustomed. In the interest of compromise I came up with a short topic. Let’s discuss those scant events our conservative friends have predicted accurately in the 21st century. It’s pathetic vs. prophetic today, here in the spooflands.

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We Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Paranoia and Secret Societies

Mick Zano

Sorry kids, like it or not we’re heading smack-dab into what an old Chinese proverb describes as “interesting times.”  These special periods of human existence are chock-full of upheavals and heaping piles of uncertainty for the whole dysfunctional family.  What is coming, you ask?

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Dear Fox News

The Crank

Dear Fox News

I be dribnk since we looz Ohio, hav head prop up on cat, so this be best I typ so deal.

Hannity say polls rong. Oreilly say polls rong. Legs and zooms all say polls rong. Eric sed polls rong. Little Bush lady say polls rong. I think OK polls rong, we win!

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