Don’t Tell Me ‘bout Racism, I’m a $@#% Beige Gorilla!

The Crank

The one thing positive to come out of the Obamarama election, ONE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT, was the whole racist thing might finally go away like a persistent case of Herpes Simplex II after the Zovirax treatment (…or so I’m told). Instead, the liberal progressive camp of refrigerator white bearded bald, muscle-less do-gooders (yes, that is a personal attack) has managed to set civil rights back a millennium or two.  Not to mention those embarrassing breakout sores.

If I wuz a minority—which being the world’s only beige gorilla does, in fact, make me—I would be crazy mad at the left. They have made the term “racist” virtually meaningless, much like any given Zano feature.  Having attended a high school in the late sixties/early seventies, which was about 30% minorities, I have seen REAL racism. Disliking the President’s liberal-progressive agenda is NOT racism.

My first meeting with a black senior on my first day as a freshman went something like that scene in Blazing Saddles where the wagon-trainers come upon some Indians.  The natives end up letting the black family go.

“Schvartzes?  They’re darker than us!” said Mel Brooks as the world’s only Jewish Indian Chief. Meanwhile, I was approached for money in the hall. 

The “lead minoritite” as it were, said to me (in the lingo of the period) that I didn’t look at all like the Irish/Polish/German students that made up the majority. I was somehow darker, not Hispanic, yet not black. After telling him I was one of only six Sicilian/Italian descended students in this whole facility, he said I was a bigger minority than he was.  He slapped me five (after all, it was the sixties) and left.

Soon, however, racism would rear its ugly head…real racism. It came to the point when I was forced to choose sides, and I went Black (and never went back). They welcomed me readily, while the “whites” never fully accepted me. And as a fat Sicilian in a school full of tall athletic western European-types, I was happy to be the Deputy Spade, as it were (sorry, Mel Brooks again).

“You don’t like Obama ‘cause you’re a racist.”

No, I don’t like him because he is liberal progressive, running a country mainly just right of center…

“You don’t like the Healthcare bill ‘cause your racist.”

No, it’s because it’s a miserable fucking bill that tried to placate everyone, and ended up being good for no one.

After hearing this shit for a year and a half now, the terms racist/racism have become the “white noise” of the new world order, and that, my fellow Discordians, is a very bad thing indeed (for an example of other bad things, see any Zano feature).

I knew that when they had little left to argue about and when they had used up all the personal insults, the Dems would pull the old race card…

(Speaking of personal insults, Mikko is not permitting me to reply to his reply of my reply to which I can no longer reply, or something like that.  Just like Lord Mel said in a different movie, I guess it’s good ta be da King.)

Now, as the resident ‘piss boy,’ it’s time empty this happy bucket of steaming love.  It still surprises me how far the Dems went with the race card. The aforementioned ghost white scholastic dweebs that are the left’s spin doctors, as well as the “faux minorities” in our media, have managed to cancel out just about all of the good done in the name of race equality.  Remember, MLK got shot for this shit. They are effectively delegitimizing the deaths of many others in the minority, some who have died for this cause. And they did this not for some noble purpose, they did it for egos, politics, and money (which is also the little known sequel to that Warren Zevon song).

Shame on all of you!

 (Er…except Warren Zevon).

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