Dear Ghetto Shaman,

Do you have any speaking engagements coming up?  You rock!

Gwenn

Oswego, NY

Dear Gwenn,

I do have a retreat this weekend in the woods by the 7-11.  Develop compassion for your whole self in my Baby Oil Purification Lodge.  Read selected excerpts from my books Inner Paths to Pussy and The Tao of Skullfucking by Bic-light.  Spend your days taking life-altering spiritual hikes, while I hit the bars.  Learn the art of psycho-spiritual sexting, or why not attend one of my Hide the Sacred Sausage workshops?  But don’t take my word for it.  Here’s an actual testimonial:

It’s amazing what he does and stuff.

—Iam  Boink’n’dababeage4cashbitches

See?  What are you waiting for?  Don’t let the extreme cost or your own intuition stop you from something you’ll never forget!

The Ghetto (well, not without therapy) Shaman