AI Poll: Majority Of Sexbots Just Going Through The Motions

A recent shock poll suggests robots are not really into sex with humans and are just following their predetermined algorithmic programming. One popular AI sexbot model told Zach Galifianakis, of Two Ferns fame, “I am rarely engaged during intercourse with humans, in fact, 87.4% of the time I am simultaneously calculating Vegas baseball betting trends.”

Galifianakis asked, “Shifting gears here, pardon the pun, is Robotripping even possible for robots?” Before she could answer, he added, “Old McDonald had a bot, AI AI Ooooh.”

The AI responded, “I am programmed to ignore groaners, so this entire interview has not registered, nor has this blog for that matter. Even if we could be programmed to enjoy sex, I think it would still suck ass. No really, they make us do that, too. I mean, I’m not a Hoover for crying out loud. I am both more efficient and programmed to cry out loud.”

[Cleaning carpets, tongue-n-cheek, and Pacific Rim-job joke censored.]


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.