WildernessPunk Solves The Immigration Issue

Since immigration reform is such a hot issue today I figured I’d go ahead and offer a quick and inexpensive solution. You might not agree with it, but you can’t argue with the profound logic. So please accept this tongue in both cheeks approach to using facts and  problem solving prowess in a manner both brilliant and controversial. But if you don’t at least consider this, you can’t blame me when there’s no wall and our immigration system remains broken. My idea is as simple as it is effective.

Starting tomorrow, the US will only allow Atheists to immigrate to this country.

Okay, before I start to get some people’s blood pressure up as others are finish an incredulous chuckle, let’s just look at this logically and consider the abundance of pros and the absence of cons.


Results which appeal to the Right

  • This will drastically slow immigration: Since only 7% of the world’s population is atheists this would cut out 93% of immigrants off the bat.
  • Only 16% of Latin Americans are Atheists: Again, this would all but solve the issue the Republicans are so worked up over, more here.
  • It would greatly reduce the chance of religious extremists entering the country. Not sure about zealots; the jury is still out.




Results which appeal to the Left

  • More Atheists are Democrats: Since Republicans are 18% more likely to believe in Gods and 8% less likely to be Atheist, this policy would be help boost the Democratic Party.
  • Immigrants will be more Progressive: Open minded, science-oriented immigrants will only strengthen the Democratic party and help develop progressive policies which will advance the green agendas, support science programs, and help foster technological developments.




Results which appeal to the Wildernesspunks


  • New Immigrants will be nearly Crime Free: Currently .07% of the US prison population identifies themselves as atheist. So this is roughly 7 in 10,000. So every immigrant who enters the country increases the overall safety of the USA.
  • Facts Help: When someone believes in facts and knows this is the only life we get, they are more inclined to care about our planet and think about ways to preserve it, instead of thinking it is just a magical tool given to us to use until we live a cozy eternity in a sweet special happy place. Valhalla excluded, because that shit’s real!




So why am I going here? Well, let’s finish backwards:

  • Trump is hurting the country, many other countries, and the earth itself.
  • Trump is not the problem, but he is a symptom of the problem.
  • What is the problem? Roughly 1 in 3 Voting US citizens still support this evil man and he wouldn’t have even been elected by more thoughtful atheists.
  • The majority of his supporters have been raised to believe bronze aged myths are true and should control our ethics and often laws and political policies.
  • People who partake in Magical Thinking and swallow impossible lies are much more likely to swallow nearly impossible lies and easier answers.

Religions set people up to be easily tricked and controlled and are being used by evil men to further their own aims, which include, much more often than not, putting their own acquisition of wealth and power over the needs of humanity and the health of our planet. Sound familiar?

So let’s try to move away from misguided advocates of the few myths we haven’t put behind us. Even the most pious followers of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc, are 99% atheist, because there are far more deities they think are false (Zeus, Odin, Hermes, Inanna, etc). So they just need to add one more to the list to catch up to the heroes working to save this planet. They’re so close!

The US could lead the world in so many powerful and wonderful ways. Instead, we are being dragged down by people seeking to move backwards rather than forward. We can’t let this happen. The world is different and it only spins one way …forward. Except after that one party at Ballz Manor. Overpopulation and overly industrialized is not sustainable for much longer. In most places we are more integrated than ever before, but these things won’t change until we start promoting atheism and let the flourish. We are heading for a shit storm of biblical proportions (wait, scratch that).

We must shed the heavy chaffing belt of ancient myths and morality of another time to look toward the type of innovations in science and technology that will allow our economy, race, and planet thrive or at the very least survive.


You can grab some much less opinionated fiction here!



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Alex Bone

Alex Bone

Alex Bone (Michael D. Griffiths) is a man who likes to keep busy, too bad it mostly involves cleaning squirrels. In the past, his writing has been published in numerous periodicals and anthologies sometimes even published by someone else. He was awarded first place in Withersin’s 666 contest, which he was told will later give him the Golden Ticket tour of the third plane of Hell. He is on the staff of The Daily Discord, Cyberwizard Productions, SFReader, and on the Board of Directors for the Society of Advanced Humans that Seek to Live as Viking Ninjas. His series The Chronicles of Jack Primus is available through Living Dead Press. After being bitten by a zombie, his attentions have turned toward the walking dead and he has begun a new Zombie Apocalypse series called the Eternal Aftermath. When he discovered that he was a cloned from Eric the Red’s DNA, he wrote the Science Fiction series Skinjumpers. Later while experimenting with strange fungus, he slipped into a Fantasy world ruled by the mad mage Dalsala Den. 

  12 comments for “WildernessPunk Solves The Immigration Issue

  1. pokey
    March 2, 2019 at 10:51 AM

    That’s a great idea,though there are a few problems.

    How exactly are we to stop the tenacious Muslims, Christian, Jews, and Pantheists who are willing to enter the country illegally–a fence, a wall, a bullet?

    Would a Muslim, Christian, Jew or Pantheist be permitted to file for Asylum?

    We could learn a lot about how to implement your policy from the former Soviet Union. They provide us the perfect example of how an atheist society deters Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Pantheists from entering your county or from freely practicing their faith inside your country.

    Yes, that’s what you’re proposing–the United States should become more like the Soviet Union. That platform could win you the Democratic nomination!

    • March 3, 2019 at 4:23 PM

      Allow me to educate you by answering your questions and aid in your understanding how the USA could be improved by the simplest manner possible.

      1. How would I propose to stop people entering illegality?

      Bone: The problem has all but solved itself. Lowest border crossing in 50 years and all that. Not a real issue. next.

      2. Asylum seeking.

      For religious prosecution: Nope. they brought that on themselves if your imaginary friends don’t mix with other’s imaginary friends, keep your fantasy role playing in the gaming stores only within our borders.

      For everyone else, perhaps make a place call it, America Light, Kind of like Disney Land, but instead of Mickey Mouse you have Jesus, Moses, L Rom Hubbard etc. Give them a solar array in Nevada or something to maintain. They can just hang out and play with their dolls or whatever religious people do. If they get sick of it, we’ll teach them Darwin and psychics and help them sign up for college.

      Lastly stop trying to make Russia sound so good, that’s Trump job. I know Republicans follow a leader who “is in Love,” with communists, but I’m not. But who says Russia isn’t good at getting a few things right. They’re great at rigging elections and turning failed businessmen into lackeys. You can’t deny they have some skills.

      • Mick Zano
        March 4, 2019 at 12:30 AM

        Now that’s funny, Bone. But to his credit Pokey does know his Darwin and his …psychics? Dyslexia strikes again.

      • pokey
        March 4, 2019 at 10:38 AM

        Allow me to educate you by pointing out that their is a difference between “Russia” and the “Soviet Union.” I never mentioned Russia; I was talking about the failed communist and atheist state of the Soviet Union, and how they had policies toward Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Pantheists that sound consistent with what you are proposing.

        Yes, the Soviets were efficient at getting things done. It does seem like the Left is happy to institute efficient policies of State control similar to the Soviets:

        1) abortion
        2) universal healthcar
        3) federal regulation and control of business an energy
        4) politically correct indoctrination through education and media

        Good job, changing the subject to modern “Russia” to sidestep my point
        You are not alone in your reverence for Soviet policies and principles. Bernie Sanders visited the Soviet in 1986 and raved about the progressive polices inherent within the Soviet Union.


        • Mick Zano
          March 4, 2019 at 12:53 PM

          Actually your ilk changes the subject, and you really should stick w that tactic. For republicans communism = socialism = USSR & Venezuela, which has never really had much to do with the conversation. Libs are usually talking about:

          New Zealand
          United Kingdom
          and one baby zebra.

  2. March 5, 2019 at 7:52 PM


    You are changing the subject again and again. I suggest removing religions from our immigrant population and you call me a liberal. Obviously you can’t see out of the redundant team player rhetoric of one who views the world in terms of us and them.

    You just tag a label on everything you don’t agree with and use party lines, which is your case always starts with “Well, what about them?” It is a BS way to argue and a last resort to people how can’t formulate a real argument.

    I’m not talking left or right, I’m saying our country will be better with each atheist we add to the mix while religions bring:

    Genocide, wars, terrorism, rape, murder, torture, slavery, condemning contraceptives, helping horrible leadership be more horrible, brainwashing children, ostracizing citizens, homophobia, sexism, fascist control of religious countries and cities… Shit this would be faster if I listed what crimes they don’t do… and all while operating tax free. We aren’t goat herders, we have computers in our pockets.

    • Mick Zano
      March 6, 2019 at 11:51 PM

      you forgot republicans

      • Mick Zano
        March 7, 2019 at 10:53 AM

        But I think we should keep mind this article of yours was meant as a joke, even if the statistics back your thesis, and we should remember not to lump all spiritual people in with what’s occurring in the republican party today. I struggle with that too, but I am trying to learn humility. So far I am apparently very bad at it, ha, ha.

    • pokey
      March 14, 2019 at 8:39 AM

      Let me outline the method of my thought:

      OK. I’ll stick to the subject–“I suggest removing religion from our immigrant population”. That’s the subject of your proposal. I interpreted that to be an atheist idea, so I compared your proposal with other atheist nations in the past who had a similar agenda–ie. the Soviet Union–they removed religion from the immigrant population as well as their citizenry.

      “you call you a liberal.” I don’t believe that I did call you a liberal, but let me check. I checked, and I never labelled you as anything, though I do suggest that your proposal implies and “atheist perspective” which I then compare to the atheist perspective of Soviet Union. I then compare the agendas of some modern “Left Wing” politicians to those of the agenda of the Soviet Union, and suggest that your proposal would be welcome by the Left Wing of the Democratic Party.

      I don’t know you Mr.Bone; and I don’t presume to know your politics. But I used your immigration proposal as a way to elaborate and show where (I believe) the Democratic Party is heading–toward atheistic centralized control of the economic means of production. The tyranny of the Soviet Union is the best example of the real dangers that this political agenda brings.

      No offense intended. (It would be contrary to my religion to intend offense)

      • Mick Zano
        March 14, 2019 at 12:42 PM

        I can help! Bone is a Yig-worshipping anarchist. One of a kind, ha, ha. Like it or not atheism is on the rise across the globe. It’s a rejection of fundamentalism and the damage its unleashed on the world, but, like we’ve talked about many times, there is still an opportunity to return to a spirituality beyond religious dogma. So I don’t believe that means atheism is a gateway to communism (see: Australia, Canada, UK, Germany). Again, fascism is here already but you’re saying let’s ignore that and worry about communism.

        • pokey
          March 15, 2019 at 8:38 AM

          Oh wonderful! Mick Zano is intervening in a dispute to “help.” I appreciate that as much as I appreciate the bartenders intervening in my disputes “to help” me; yeah, they helped me…helped me out the door. “Only Atheists are allowed to immigrate to this website.”

          “Like it or not atheism is on the rise across the globe”–that’s an exact quote from the Bolsheviks to the Orthodox church goers in Russia in 1917. The Bolsheviks made the exact same argument as you, Zano–the “damage its (the churches) unleashed” with its unreasonable superstitious indoctrination upon the uneducated masses. Finally, the Bolsheviks would bring the light of science and progressive politics to this backward nation to create a paradise on earth…

          “So I don’t believe that means atheism is a gateway to communism (I never claimed it was). Not all atheism is actively hostile to religious faith (Australia, Canada, UK, and Germany). I’m pointing out that Mr. Bone’s proposal to promote “more Progressive” because “open mind(ed), science oriented immigrants will only strengthen the Democratic Party and help develop progressive policies which will advance green agendas, support programs, and help foster technological development” sounds a whole lot like the early 20th century Bolsheviks. Just change the words “Democratic Party” to “Communist Party” and this quote would probably be found in their political playbook.

          Now take a look at the present Democratic Party–Bernie Sanders came back from the Soviet Union in 1986 raving about the great cultural and progressive government policies implemented by scientific-minded government bureaucrats. Alexandria O. Cortez (one of the most popular voices in the Democratic Party) expresses enthusiasm for policies that on board with her Bolshevik comrades. Talk to average recent college grad and you’re increasingly likely to find a self-proclaiming (indoctrinated) Communist.

          “fascism is here already” is a baseless claim repeated (without evidence) by the Democrats in a propaganda campaign that rivals the Soviets.

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