WildernessPunk Solves The Immigration Issue

Since immigration reform is such a hot issue today I figured I’d go ahead and offer a quick and inexpensive solution. You might not agree with it, but you can’t argue with the profound logic. So please accept this tongue in both cheeks approach to using facts and  problem solving prowess in a manner both brilliant and controversial. But if you don’t at least consider this, you can’t blame me when there’s no wall and our immigration system remains broken. My idea is as simple as it is effective.

Starting tomorrow, the US will only allow Atheists to immigrate to this country.

Okay, before I start to get some people’s blood pressure up as others are finish an incredulous chuckle, let’s just look at this logically and consider the abundance of pros and the absence of cons.

 

Results which appeal to the Right

  • This will drastically slow immigration: Since only 7% of the world’s population is atheists this would cut out 93% of immigrants off the bat.
  • Only 16% of Latin Americans are Atheists: Again, this would all but solve the issue the Republicans are so worked up over, more here.
  • It would greatly reduce the chance of religious extremists entering the country. Not sure about zealots; the jury is still out.

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Results which appeal to the Left

  • More Atheists are Democrats: Since Republicans are 18% more likely to believe in Gods and 8% less likely to be Atheist, this policy would be help boost the Democratic Party.
  • Immigrants will be more Progressive: Open minded, science-oriented immigrants will only strengthen the Democratic party and help develop progressive policies which will advance the green agendas, support science programs, and help foster technological developments.

 

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Results which appeal to the Wildernesspunks

 

  • New Immigrants will be nearly Crime Free: Currently .07% of the US prison population identifies themselves as atheist. So this is roughly 7 in 10,000. So every immigrant who enters the country increases the overall safety of the USA.
  • Facts Help: When someone believes in facts and knows this is the only life we get, they are more inclined to care about our planet and think about ways to preserve it, instead of thinking it is just a magical tool given to us to use until we live a cozy eternity in a sweet special happy place. Valhalla excluded, because that shit’s real!

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So why am I going here? Well, let’s finish backwards:

  • Trump is hurting the country, many other countries, and the earth itself.
  • Trump is not the problem, but he is a symptom of the problem.
  • What is the problem? Roughly 1 in 3 Voting US citizens still support this evil man and he wouldn’t have even been elected by more thoughtful atheists.
  • The majority of his supporters have been raised to believe bronze aged myths are true and should control our ethics and often laws and political policies.
  • People who partake in Magical Thinking and swallow impossible lies are much more likely to swallow nearly impossible lies and easier answers.

Religions set people up to be easily tricked and controlled and are being used by evil men to further their own aims, which include, much more often than not, putting their own acquisition of wealth and power over the needs of humanity and the health of our planet. Sound familiar?

So let’s try to move away from misguided advocates of the few myths we haven’t put behind us. Even the most pious followers of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc, are 99% atheist, because there are far more deities they think are false (Zeus, Odin, Hermes, Inanna, etc). So they just need to add one more to the list to catch up to the heroes working to save this planet. They’re so close!

The US could lead the world in so many powerful and wonderful ways. Instead, we are being dragged down by people seeking to move backwards rather than forward. We can’t let this happen. The world is different and it only spins one way …forward. Except after that one party at Ballz Manor. Overpopulation and overly industrialized is not sustainable for much longer. In most places we are more integrated than ever before, but these things won’t change until we start promoting atheism and let the flourish. We are heading for a shit storm of biblical proportions (wait, scratch that).

We must shed the heavy chaffing belt of ancient myths and morality of another time to look toward the type of innovations in science and technology that will allow our economy, race, and planet thrive or at the very least survive.

 

You can grab some much less opinionated fiction here!

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Alex Bone

Alex Bone

Alex Bone (Michael D. Griffiths) is a man who likes to keep busy, too bad it mostly involves cleaning squirrels. In the past, his writing has been published in numerous periodicals and anthologies sometimes even published by someone else. He was awarded first place in Withersin’s 666 contest, which he was told will later give him the Golden Ticket tour of the third plane of Hell. He is on the staff of The Daily Discord, Cyberwizard Productions, SFReader, and on the Board of Directors for the Society of Advanced Humans that Seek to Live as Viking Ninjas. His series The Chronicles of Jack Primus is available through Living Dead Press. After being bitten by a zombie, his attentions have turned toward the walking dead and he has begun a new Zombie Apocalypse series called the Eternal Aftermath. When he discovered that he was a cloned from Eric the Red’s DNA, he wrote the Science Fiction series Skinjumpers. Later while experimenting with strange fungus, he slipped into a Fantasy world ruled by the mad mage Dalsala Den.