Jeff Bezos is currently the second richest man in modern history (just behind C. Montgomery Burns), so his company, Amazon, is obviously doing pretty well. However, since Amazon is always looking to get a hold of more of your hard-earned cash, they are searching for some new-eye grabbing slogans. Here is a list of the ones that died on the editor’s chopping block, but that I managed to get a hold of:
- Amazon: you don’t have to need clothes to buy ’em.
- New Alexa app spends your whole paycheck for you!
- By 2020 you’re working for us, and by 2021 you’re replaced by a cyborg.
4. Amazon: give us your money.
5. Blow your yearly budget from the privacy of your own home.
6. No need to feel guilty about not shopping locally, because now you can.
7. We help promote homogeny worldwide.
8. New app allows you to receive packages before you order them.
9. Amazon: help destroy the middle class, effortlessly!
10. Keep buying shit, or Bezos might go all Musk.