Top 10 Reasons To Confirm Kavanaugh To The Supremes

Trump’s Supreme Court appointee Brett Kavanaugh’s senate confirmation hearings are over …no questions answered. Republicans are throwing all caution, fairness, or logic to the wind to get this judge confirmed before their president is arrested or impeached (or both). This move for more power could end up coming with a hefty price tag, but Brett represents their perfect appointee. Let’s review the impressive powers of deduction behind this monumentally piss poor choice:

10. Who needs the women, minority, youth, or educated voters to win elections? (See: the Electoral College.)

9. Because one more conservative SCOTUS pick and we’ll have a gaggle.

8. While working for Dubya, Kavanaugh couldn’t possibly have done anything worse than Cheney …right? (Don’t release those documents.)

7. The most unpopular nominee in thirty years must be doing something far right.

6. Only 71% of United States citizens support legal abortions, but the rest of their bronze-aged base will remain Trump strong.

5. He would have been very popular in the 1930s German political circles.

4. We can’t allow America to become more progressive than the Pope, or Ireland.

3. When Kavanaugh overturns Row vs. Wade maybe we can make some extra cash opening a chain of back alley abortion ‘clinics’ (chain sold separately).

2. The average Republican voter is 79, so why fret too much about the future? (Rapture accessories sold separately.)

1. He totally has the same barber as Second City Television’s Dave Thomas!

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Alex Bone

Alex Bone

Alex Bone (Michael D. Griffiths) is a man who likes to keep busy, too bad it mostly involves cleaning squirrels. In the past, his writing has been published in numerous periodicals and anthologies sometimes even published by someone else. He was awarded first place in Withersin’s 666 contest, which he was told will later give him the Golden Ticket tour of the third plane of Hell. He is on the staff of The Daily Discord, Cyberwizard Productions, SFReader, and on the Board of Directors for the Society of Advanced Humans that Seek to Live as Viking Ninjas. His series The Chronicles of Jack Primus is available through Living Dead Press. After being bitten by a zombie, his attentions have turned toward the walking dead and he has begun a new Zombie Apocalypse series called the Eternal Aftermath. When he discovered that he was a cloned from Eric the Red’s DNA, he wrote the Science Fiction series Skinjumpers. Later while experimenting with strange fungus, he slipped into a Fantasy world ruled by the mad mage Dalsala Den. 

  6 comments for “Top 10 Reasons To Confirm Kavanaugh To The Supremes

  1. pokey
    September 9, 2018 at 12:05 PM

    Nothing mentioned about the Constitution and his applying (or not) the principles of the Constitution on his legal decisions.

    That’s all that matters right? Does he understand the Constitution and interpret the law in light of the meaning of the Constitution in context of legal precedent?

    It’s not a matter of politics; it’s a matter of principle. What principled reason do you have to RESIST Cavanaugh’s appointment?

    • Mick Zano
      September 9, 2018 at 3:15 PM

      Well, for starters it’s going to be unfortunate to start his impeachment proceeding during his welcome party, you know, for his perjury to Congress during his 2004 hearings. Second, we need all the documents from his Dubya days to determine his culpability in CIA torture, and, I guess, based on something called international law, whether or not he should be hung in the town square. But don’t let your misguided version of the Constitution get in the way.

      You should also RESIST misspelling the names of potential lifetime appointments. Spell Check Matters!

      • pokey
        September 9, 2018 at 4:38 PM

        Thanks Zano,

        Alex Jones and Sean Hannity had neglected to inform me about the purgery thingie. If it’s troo, Kavanaw should be impeeched.

        twoshae!

  2. September 11, 2018 at 11:58 AM

    There is also evidence of his racism which the USA still should officially frown on. What is on those missing documents? The Republicans should be smarter. If they go for the short gain and he overturns Roe vs Wade the with 71% of the population against such an action and only the bronze aged myth huggers are for it, it will ruin the party for decades. Republicans will be done and even their gerrymandering won’t save them as the last of them finally die off.

    • Mick Zano
      September 11, 2018 at 8:28 PM

      I always hear some republican policy or action will “ruin them for a generation”. Heck, I probably said it myself, but this is all tribal now. They never pay. The other side could care less who’s on the ticket. They have their team, right or wrong, safe or unsafe, coherent or incoherent #incoherent

    • pokey
      September 13, 2018 at 8:24 AM

      The Point–if 71% of the population is in favor of legalized abortion, then why do you need a federal ruling (9 judges) to protect your right to an abortion? Just vote in state representatives to pass legislation that allows for legal abortions (which many states already had at the time of Roe vs. Wade). The problem with Roe vs. Wade isn’t that it allows for abortion; the problem with Reo vs. Wade is that it unconstitutionally denies the rights of the (potential) majority of people in a state to democratically restrict or prohibit abortion in their particular state.

      The courts are supposed to be beyond politics–the courts are to make decisions, not because they’re decisions are popular, but because they are constitutionally principled. The Democrats tend to make EVERYTHING political. With the Democrats, the Courts are politicized, the IRS is politicized, the intelligence agencies are politicized, football games are politicized, music ceremonies are politicized, hollywood is politicized. That is what I mean by Tyranny (or Liberal Fascism).

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