Al Qaeda Planning to Use Our Own National Birds Against Us!

Washington, DC – President Obama announced today Al Qaeda’s latest plot against the homeland.  The CIA has gathered intelligence that suggests a well conceived plan to fly our own eagles, kamikaze style, into several important American flags.  British Intelligence agencies also believe this is a credible threat.  Al Qaeda is casing over four hundred flag poles located in high profile locations scattered across the United States.  It’s a plan that President Obama describes as “truly heinous.”  Young and impressionable eagles are captured and trained in Al Qaeda terrorist camps within the U.S. They are then loaded with C-4 and trained to fly into pre-designated flag poles.

“The synchronized attacks are not meant to weaken our economy, as that would be cruel,” said President Obama.  “No, these attacks are meant to do far worse.  They are meant to strike at the very nationalistic fiber that runs through our collective conscience.”

When asked to explain that last teleprompted statement, Obama declined and instead discussed his new puppy, what’sis name. 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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