Spygate Revisited: Hold On, Pokey, Is Your Cult Calling My Cult A Cult?

The Republicans were a cult long before the libs created their safe space version. Cult of anti-personality? In response to my blogvesary’s last post, here’s a quick historical account: Oliver North zipped it to save President Reagan, Scooter Libby zipped it to save President Cheney and Paul Manfort is now zipping it to save President Ass-clown Hitler. Our president considers Paul Manafort a “brave man” while he mulls a pardon. Trump places this creep on the same white collar pedestal he reserves for himself. And who exactly is protecting the lefties amidst this grand counter-intelligence conspiracy of yours? …a bunch of rightwing spooks? Really? This is your narrative, Charlie Brown? I know when I changed my registration from independent to Dem it was to secretly conspire against progressivism. Iran Contra-diction? Hmmm. Why don’t you ask the real question here, what exactly spooked all the spooks down in Spookville?

In normal times watching this ideological ouroboros unfold (aka Republicans eating their own DOJ’s tail) would be very satisfying, but these are not normal times. Amidst a supermajority, our president is in a prime position to derail the rule of law. Luckily, what may postpone his coronation, hopefully indefinitely, is how the ass-clown part of Trump will ultimately best the Hitler part, or my Bozo the Crown theory*. The slide toward authoritarianism may well continue, but there’s a reasonable chance that, through the distribution of banana peels throughout the White House, we can sidestep disaster.

Fact: Donald Trump’s behavior = The GOP already acquiesced to a mob-boss-mentality (MBM). 

And we reached this level of insanity before our president is even charged with anything. What do you think happens then? Why aren’t you worried about anything that matters, yet again? The level of obliviousness of our supposedly sharpest Republican friends gives even a dystopic liberal blogger like me some serious pause.

[Pause]

See? Right or wrong there’s an ever-present political capitulation infesting Washington, as discussed in my last article, but what of the free pass for the shady businessman? Herr Trump is now a corrupt president and a business scheister. Who says Republicans can’t multitask? Overlooking a certain level of political wrongdoing from our top politicians is the norm, but what of the perpetual get-out-of-jail-free card for our evil moguls? Today white collar crimes tend to only apply to those of a certain tax bracket. You’re right in one sense, Pokey, why care now? Why wasn’t this criminal brought to justice long before his ascendency to the Oval Office? The FBI knew of the dangers, so why wait until he’s about to become president? The IRS audited me twenty years ago and it cost me about 200 bucks, so why do they keep ignoring these Dr. Evil-level gazillions? Yes, I’m assuming Trump’s tax returns are egregious, but only because Trump’s tax returns are likely egregious.

Let me summarize this 2016 Russian-hacking passion play (paraphrased for your enjoyment):

Barack Obama: Hey, Mitch, guess what? The Russians are trying to tip the election for your boy. The American people deserve to know

Mitch McConnell: Don’t do it. This isn’t about the truth, Barack, this is politics. I’m warning you to keep quiet, or my side will spin the shit out of this and throw the whole election into chaos.

Barack Obama: Did anyone ever tell you, you’re a douchebag?

Mitch McConnell: All the time …and say hello to Merrick for me.

Barack Obama: That didn’t happen yet, Mitch.

Mitch McConnell: Oh, sorry.

James Comey: Golly Geez! It appears the Republican presidential nominee is a monstrous mogul in league with the Ruskies. The politicians are refusing to talk about this publically, hmmm. This is so complicated I wrote a book about the difficult decisions that our braindead electorate placed me in.

Mitch McConnell: Um, Jim, that didn’t happen yet.

See what processing information can do to help decipher complicated issues?  Some day, Pokey, someone is going to ask what the hell were you going on about while our ecosystem died and our republic burned. You let the wolf into the hen house …so at least take up the fiddle or something.

[Nero Wolfe joke removed by the editor]

There are four moving parts to the Russia probe:

1. Only Russian wrongdoing is found and Trump is exonerated (2%)

2. Team Trump colluded with the Russians and he should be removed from office (65%)

3. Obstruction of justice on the table, but only because our president obstructed justice (85%).

4. A slew of direct and/or indirect white collar crimes are found. These are likely to surface, but only because our president built his entire empire on them (95%).

But don’t worry, Giuliani is already trying to have the Mueller report blocked from the public. Then they’ll blow up Mueller’s headquarters, Commissioner Gordon will light the batshit signal, but sadly Batman’s is nowhere to be found because he’s heading back to rehab. Maybe Wonder Woman needs a city wide signal, but it shouldn’t be red. Just sayin’.

Sure, a presidential nominee is never going down for the mishandling of a few emails, but why are the superrich answerable to no one? Why did it take a special counsel? He’s been a grifter, of Trump Tower proportions, his entire life. Whether you understand this point or not, my friend, the rest of us are faced with the challenges of dealing with a Criminal in Chief, and the ramifications of corning such a beast while in office.

Last round my blogvesary accused me of not caring about the FBI’s interference in our election. I would care if there was a coordinated effort to dethrone a duly elected president. Was he duly elected? Is he an agent of a foreign power? These were the questions our intelligence communities were likely wrestling with before the general election. So any FBI conspiracy, if one exists, would be more along that old Blazing Saddles line:

Skully: What are you working on, Mulder? 

Mulder: Never mind that shit. Here comes, Mongo!

But the proof is out there, Zano!

What proof could make any rightwing conspiracy make sense? Wild Trumpey 101? During our long ranging political debates over they years, I always like to remind folks the score, you know, the one between myself and blogvesary. This is why it’s impossible to take anything espoused by the right seriously. Credibility is not their forte.

 

Here’s what Mick Zano has ignored:

Here’s what Pokey McDooris has ignored:

*Benghazi *cough*.

*Three classified emails Hillary Clinton sent or received through her private server.

*An illegally orchestrated effort by the Feds to keep an innocent man from keeping his job in the Oval Office …that will eventually be proven to be bullshit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*A president engaged in a covert proxy war with Iran.

*The lies that led up to the disastrous invasion of Iraq.

*The torturing of American citizens by our own government.

*The dangerous constitutional overreach of the Patriot Act.

*A president likely compromised to the Russians, who always sides with Russian intelligence over the U.S.’s.

*One party implementing widespread gerrymandering and voter suppression.

*The outright unconstitutional hijacking of a SCOTUS pick.

*A White House and a political party shifting quickly to fascism, complete with (for a time) an openly alt-right chief strategist touting a full White Supremacist agenda.

*A president openly banging against our checks and balances and the rule of law. A man who is now poised to create a full-blown constitutional crisis in the middle of his first term.

*A man who pulled out of the Paris Climate Accords and has returned us to the good old days of dumping our toxins in the lot next door.

*A man who pulled out of the Iran Deal, which will again lead to yet another catastrophic war in the Middle East.

*A president who is clearly mentally compromised and is, from a psychological perspective, a narcissistic pathological liar.

(But did I mention I ignored Benghazi?)

 

Keep trying to build that Trumpian wall, my friend, but do yourself a favor and start paying attention to the writing on it.

*Bozo the Crown: That is a fake link, because apparently I coined that phrase :(. 

 

 

 

 

 

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