Ask The Ghetto Shaman

Ask The Ghetto Shaman

Dear Ghetto Shaman,

Since you are such an erudic chap, maybe you can help me out.  I read this passage somewhere: “I see a fountain bubbling with life. Language is not able to reveal this. For the entire eighth, my son, and that are in it, and the angels, sing a hymn in silence.”  I forget where I found this quote, but that night I had a profound dream, almost a peak experience.  Do you care to comment?  Do you know what it might mean?

Vern

Vernon, NJ

Hey Vern,

Vern from Vernon?  Really?  Sure I am erudic, phonetically.  Actually, I am a rude dick—it think you wanted erudite.  But I know the quote of which you speak.  I found it through a union with the higher realms and the Wikipedia Gods.   Obviously the “fountain bubbling with life” is reference to an ancient CO2 tap system of some type.  “Language is not able to reveal this” translates as the ineffable buzz of the malt liquor mammas.  “For the entire 8th” is reference to the finishing of the sacred 8th pint, in Buddhism this corresponds to the eight pint path.  Once the aspirant chugs the 8th beer, he or she passes through the challenge of the spin monsters and arrives at enlightenment or, in some cases, the drunk tank.

The Ghetto Shaman

P.S. Either that or it’s about jerking off.  I’m sure it’s one of the two.

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The Ghetto Shaman

The Ghetto Shaman

⊕ The Ghetto Shaman is a spiritual healer and guru best known for his book The Tao of Skullfucking. His advice columns has arguably helped many people and he is working with The Daily Discord on a weekly podcast called All Things Discouraged. ⊕ 

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