Cheap Parler Tricks Courtesy Of Deplorabus Unum

Conservative Americans feel slighted and forever persecuted and with good reason, they are. Most Americans are over their whole if-you-don’t-like-the-results-flip-over-the-graph line of reasoning. They’re not going to stop peddling their conspiracy theories anytime soon or, more accurately, ever. The right has a threefold approach to making their Fantasy Island become a new reality for us all. First, abandon existing journalism outright. If anyone was still wondering, this phase is complete. Second, find a social media platform that’s, how should I say it? …think post-lobotomy Walter Mitty. Then, for the pizza-gate de resistance, you just have to create a news network that will make Fox seem, well, fair and balanced. As for this dark web I’m forced to live vicariously through my blogvesary, who’s up to his old Parler tricks.

*The headline is Roman for ‘out of the many, dumb.’ I think.

These social media platforms and “news” networks of the near future will effectively shave even more IQ points off their viewers. Many of you are thinking: But, Zano, they have to have reached maximum incapacity in 2020? I realize that post-Trump such a sentiment seems counter intuitive, but, remember, so are they.

The Discord was among the first blogs to really talk, at length, about the rightwing’s determination to remove itself from this reality. Here’s an article on a comment thread gone horribly wrong in 2011. That particular incident was triggered by my insertion of some CBO financial estimates into an otherwise Deplorable-driven FB-thread sometime amidst the last financial collapse.

Here’s the Atlantic’s take yesterday: Right-Wing Social Media Finalizes Its Divorce From Reality. It’s nice to see the liberal elite catching up to a spoof news blogger. As for social media platforms, Parler is the latest greatest republican avatar. The run of the mill social media platforms should suffice for any plucky populist movement bent on railing against the man, but not so for the US version. These folks are too retro-industrious for Facebook and Twitter. They need a place where they are free to shove the 1st Amendment up someone’s ass. I was a member of a Tomi Lahren and a pro-Trump group for several years, you know, just to keep the pulse of the EKG and EEG of the people devoid of those associated organs.

[Scarecrow and Tin Man joke snatched by flying monkeys.]

I dropped these groups a few months ago after seeing a thread pop up on my feed that made me want to report them to, well, the man. It was stunning, yet par for the courseness. The post in question showed a picture of a black man spray-painting something on the front of someone’s house. No information, no backstory, just an image taken from somewhere at some time and posted at the height of the BLM movement.

The person who posted it said something like, would it be so bad if we started to do something about these people? (paraphrased). I did not screenshot this post, but it had about 50 likes and about 12 comments, because it had only recently been posted, but not one person said, Dude? WTF? or even Chill out. All were ‘likes’ or ‘hearts’ and the comments ranged from sympathetic to genocidal.

Let me be clear, there is no liberal meetup group on Earth, even from ANTIFA central, wherein someone wouldn’t try to tamp that shit down a notch. I have seen a ton of hateful liberal rants on social media, some even from other than myself, but you’re never going to find an entire group of liberals placating genocide. There are always adults, gatekeepers, or principled people to steer the group back toward reason. There are no such individuals left in the wasteland known as the GOP.

While my friend and blogvesary stoked his own pack of rowdy republicans, he recently complained about our old college friends “giving him a hard time” about his posts. Poor Poke. Educated people, pointing out the obvious. I stopped commenting on his feed when someone suggested I go home liberal and watch Cuties. When I say R is ten times more radicalized and dangerous than D, Poke, that’s a conservative conservative estimate (CCE).

Today these social media platforms are calling them out, so they’re taking their shitshow further down the nimrod path. Republicans seek a fact-free zone, a conservative safe space of sorts and Parler seems to be trying to fill this important niche for our fact-deficient freundin. It’s not a huge platform yet, but it’s growing in leaps and clowns because too many republicans are becoming uncomfortable with the inconvenient truths sneaking into their bubble of non-reality. Acknowledging the election for someone who handily won both the electoral college and the popular vote? Yeah, that’s not going to sit well.

Social media will be the gateway drug to our pending newsmaxian dystopia where people across the heartland can find one another and grow their movement. Whereas I have been encouraging republicans to create a stronger conservative intelligentsia, instead they want to take dumb down a notch.

This graph from Ad Fontes shows the extent of a particular publication’s media bias:

To bring this home, we’ve had three main republican voices here on The Discord and all three continually share far-right links or themes from publications deemed ‘nonsense damaging to public discourse.’ This would be Exhibit A as to why they never seem to offer valuable insights. One of our old contributors tends to continue to link to the likes of GatewayPundit, Breitbart and Red State on FB. Not to be outdone, my blogvesary just shared something straight from Parler.

How do you win when they say, well, if the real media isn’t covering it, there’s probably something there? Oh, there’s something there all right, but nothing a tinfoil hat can’t block.

I have only had a few dubious links creep into the ‘unfair persuasion’ category here on the ‘Cord: the Daily Kos, Salon, and one link to The Huffington Post, but that’s the list since 2006. And I knew even when I linked to these they were left-leaning publications because I tend to gravitate toward unbiased analysis.

I have always pointed to CNN’s decision to just give equal time to R and D and then cut to a commercial. In the guise of appearing impartial, they abdicated their duty to the truth. They owned up to this to some degree in 2016, but I warned them years earlier:

“They (CNN) hired MCs, not journalists. You can say any extreme and idiotic statement you want, left or right, and their anchors will simply smile and say, ‘Next up the dancing bear!’ They are not neutral, they’re flat line.”

Pains me to admit it, but there are still journalists on Fox News; Chris Wallace comes to mind, but eventually these folks get in the way of a good false narrative. Enters Newsmax, a network created by a Mar-a-Lago gold member and a news crew still clinging to the hull of the S.S. Trumptanic. If Trump doesn’t end up in jail, it is very likely he will create a news network even more friendly to the reality impaired. These will be the days worth living for…

Here is where this post was supposed to end.

As I moved to post I did comment on a Pokey FB thread. Just for fun. I did not intentionally poke the bear, much, but my comment spurred an old Discord contributor (R), the only other R Discord contributor not mentioned, to say something like what makes you an authority on what publications are reputable? Having already written this bit, I had that media bias chart handy. Oh, and he was questioning my link from Reuters …you know, top of the chart ‘strictly fact reporting’ category. That triggered this exchange:

This same guy, in full projection mode, said I was making personal attacks several weeks ago. Sure, I don’t believe republicans are the sharpest tools in the shed; think spork abandoned in a rock tumbler, but it’s time they started to understand the pattern here. They need to realize the clear and present danger that their ongoing brain farts represent to us all. Look in the mirror, your party gives the word shitshow a bad name.


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.