Washington, DC—The Muppets Resist movement entered an even darker chapter today after beloved characters, Crazy Harry and Animal, were arrested for hatching a Guy Fawksian-style plot to blow up the White House. Rockville police report the two were arrested without incident in a sock drawer outside of Glenn Hills, Maryland. Many in the intelligence community fear the pair were not working alone and may simply be “low-level Muppet operatives.” FBI director James Comey is refusing to comment, as the investigation is ongoing, but Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is asking what the rest of the world is already thinking, “What did Kermit know, and when did he know it?”
A powerful Muppets Resist movement has formed in the wake of President Trump’s decision to defund the Public Broadcast System. After Trump announced his intentions, Kermit the Frog warned the president he has inadvertently “unleashed the furry.”
In recent weeks a number of troubling incidents involving Muppet Resist member have caused the Department of Homeland Insecurity to place the organization on the puppeteer watch list. Last week the Count von Count was charged with one, two, three…three counts of disorderly counting. Mwah-ha-ha-ha! And Super Grover has not been seen or heard from since his arrest in late March outside of the White House. Full Grover coverage here.
The health and well-being of Grover has further fueled tensions between the authorities and Muppet Resist members across the nation. U.S. and U.O.K. intelligence communities report an increase in chatter this week among suspected Muppet extremists. Several key members are now being detained for further questioning. Cookie Monster is a Muppet of interest in a recent bakery break-in that is being hailed as an ‘Ate Crime’ and the Swedish Chef is at risk of deportation…as soon as the president determines which country Swedish people come from.