Obamalypse Now: How the ACA May Really End America

Obamalypse Now: How the ACA May Really End America
Mick Zano

Through propaganda the rightwing media has effectively thinned the ice for Obama, which is not an easy trick during a polar vortex. So when his healthcare rollout faltered he immediately dropped to Bush-level approval ratings. Well played. I agree, ObamaCare is one of the worst things to ever happen to this country…um, except the whole it has barely started thing.

For a real scandal See: Chris Christie. His scandal rates a 6 on the scandal scale of 1 to 10. To put that in perspective, all of Obama’s combined wouldn’t reach that high See: U.S. History. Obama’s biggest problem thus far, The Affordable Care Act, is a policy blunder not a scandal.

So to learn about real scandals, kids, read about republicans!

Meanwhile, Foxeteers are absolutely glib about the ACA debacle. I think in celebration they even closed their fake scandal factory in Honduras for the whole holiday week. I can’t believe they outsourced that shit. Story here. Never mind the fact The GOP is partly responsible for the ACA’s current woes, but let’s give them some credit. Let’s let them have their moment in the sun.

Oh…over 2-million have now signed up? Okay…enrollments are almost back on their original projected pace?…okay. Another 6 million covered under Medicaid expansion?

Moment over.

Did you enjoy it? That’s nice. Now, can you please go back to imploding as a political party? Thanks. Could you imagine if Bush’s largest problem was the horrendous rollout of his Medicare-D program?

Perspective…
Perspective...What's That?
What’s that?

Bush’s website took about as long to fix but I admit this is a MUCH bigger deal. Obama deserves scrutiny for his legacy achievement’s botched rollout and his related misstatements, but 90% of the rest of his criticism resides high on the soft steamy peaks of Stewart’s Bullshit Mountain.

As for reality, I’ve been covering our narley insurance deductibles and premiums as long as I’ve been blogging. Out of control Insurance rates pose one of the biggest business and middle class killing challenges. As I’ve mentioned before, my last two CEOs named rising employee insurance rates among their biggest financial concerns. The republican’s solution to this major problem remains quantum. Check out Chait’s post on The Heritage Uncertainty Principle. You can extrapolate this to nearly every other issue of our time. Under all the bloviating ignorance, reality slips away for The GOP like Christie’s presidential aspirations.

Now, for the first time in decades, insurance rates have at least slowed. Hopefully the ACA will keep the pressure on our more vulturistic insurance companies and truly hold them to a minimum standard. I love the way Fox covers every insurance that’s better than Obamacare. Policies above the minimum…er, imagine that. Of course, there’s no shortage of Fox News watching doctors (FNWDs) already complaining about Obamacare.

Dear doctors,

Your bosses, you know the people who actually run the hospitals, well, as it turns out, 9 out of 10 of them think the ACA will eventually reign in healthcare cost and will be ultimately good for the industry.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. Full story here.

Oh and:

“Obamacare’s Medicaid Expansion is working in those states who wanted it to work.”

—Ezra Klein

Remember, you heard it here first. And the same will eventually be true for the medical component of this schitznik. So despite Obama’s lowest approval ratings, I still predict republicans are finished and our President, as well as ObamaCare for that matter, is simply not. But don’t fret Foxeteers, you won’t even be reading my post when I link back to this years from now, because you’ll be fixated on:

Is President Clinton Colluding with Our Alien Oppressors?

Will Senator Chelsea End the Last of Our Freedoms?

When Bill Smoked Pot was Hillary the Lone Inhaler?

Was Hillary Playing Golf with Obama during Benghazi?

Will We Keep Asking Questions Minus Any Facts?

Dear Fox News,

Question marks are not a replacement for facts.

Sincerely

Reality?

P.S. I know they’re all you’ve got, but please mix it up, maybe with some nice exclamation points.

Yeah, they’re a political parody. Here’s someone who shares my this too shall pass philosophy:

“Numerous moments have been declared to be disasters for Obama, going back to Jeremiah Wright. This hyperventilating approach always turns out to be wrong and overheated.”

Michael Tomasky

Here are my two anecdotal examples. I have one very poor friend who may have to pay more under ObamaCare or face fines. He’s pissed. I have another friend thrilled he might be able to insure his family on an exchange and finally dive fully into his private business. Insurance has always stopped many people from doing what they want in life. If this ultimately works and we can all hit some exchange, compare rates, and then escape our boss’s thumb, aka THAT is freedom. Funny how republicans only defend the freedoms associated with unlimited working hours, union busting, and wage stagnation (see: Sweatshops for Freedom!).

As folks shuffle around for insurance we will have no shortage of angry people and corresponding Drudge headlines. Don’t worry, when that stops the right will cover every person who thought they had coverage but the website didn’t sign them up correctly. Then, when those run out, they will continue to blame every death in America on ObamaCare. When that gets stale and everything is pretty much functioning…Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi! Kidding, they will have invented another scandal by then.

Obama is shooting for 7 million enrollments by March, I think he’s lucky if he hits 5.5, but that should do the trick. We must remember a faction of Foxeteers think Ted Cruz successfully got ObamaCare repealed. Full story here, so some of the terminally misguided won’t sign up on principle.

So why then do you think the ACA may lead to our doom, Zano?

Funny you should ask that, imaginary reader. If the ACA does unravel, which is still possible, republicans could surge in the next two election cycles. And that would spell disaster for our country. Mark my words.

I still don’t think the republicans can rally—not if I have anything to blog about it. But, sadly, our elections are ultimately decided by the clueless; those people who vote based on the last gaffe, the last news cycle, the bad hair day before the election, or the candidate they would rather have a beer with. I really don’t know if The GOP is finished, but they are in deep, deep ideological schitznik. Hell, I wanted to give the GOP each a lump of coal in their stocking this Christmas, but I was afraid they’d all burn them increasing our overall carbon emissions.

(Visited 54 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *