To help pay for Obamacare and to decrease the national debt on the eve of the midterm elections, Obama has sold Texas back to Mexico.
“I know this is a bit of a shocker,” said Obama. “Obviously Mexico couldn’t pay squat for Texas, so we dealt directly with the drug cartels. Cash for illicit substances will now go to cutting our national debt. Spending our way out of this fiasco has failed, but snorting our way out should be fun and economical! Besides, most Texans want to go anyway so don’t let the panhandle hit your ass on the way out.”
The Obama Administration is adamantly denying plans to return to 1845 boundaries, which would also include half of New Mexico and parts of Colorado. When asked about our highways, Obama said, “Route 20 will be lost to us, but here’s our plan for Route 40, if we just raised the highway off the ground a few inches, we could probably slide the panhandle out from underneath it, preferably at night, when no one is looking.”
When asked if there’s anything Obama would miss about our 28th state, he said, “There is this great little Jazz club in Austin but, don’t worry, it’s scheduled to be choppered to D.C. before things are finalized—which, by the way, adds 47 construction jobs to my stimulus program totals.”