Study Finds Debating Table Lamp More Engaging Than Average Republican


Critical thinking on the right side of the political spectrum is officially dead. Elvis has left the Trump rally. The reactionary factless responses that define today’s political landscape now permeate every corner of the Twiright Zone. Thankfully, real evidence of the problem is surfacing, as a recent Oxford study supports my shift from a ‘Deplorable’ designation to an ‘Unreachable’ one. Facts can no longer penetrate the Trump supporters’ noggins, period. Neuropolitical studies continue to support my rather harsh assessment of our conservative friends’ adverse relationship to the truth. Of course, they would reply Fake Science! According to this Fake Study, Trump supporters pass around twice as much nonsense, or Foxal Matter, on social media platforms than any other group on the planet. As a result, our staunch evangelical friends can now only engage in debates with themselves. Mass debaters? Yep, its Oxford University vs the Glenn Beck Chalk-Sniffing Choir. Good luck with that.

From a philosophical standpoint many are urging our electorate to move beyond our dualistic, “us vs them” mentality, but how do we do that in the wake of this rampant, seemingly mindless populism? Giving into all of their shortsighted ideas and policies seems …er, shortsighted. With the GOP’s recent record they should be demoralized and retreating, yet the opposite is true. Crap is truly king, literally.

When NPR’s Diane Rehm retired last year, her final plea was to ‘please keep talking to each other’ to which I replied :

“In light of recent events, I have deemed discourse with Republicans DOV (Dead On Verbalization).  We have all joined our respective FaceBook groups. Recently I joined such prestigious forums as FU Trump and Donald Trump Clown University. Proud member since last week. Hate Threads Matter? Sure the implications are horrible, but not as horrible as participating in a political conversation with the aforementioned Unreachables.”

Has any Republican in your own life ever conceded a point, on anything? If they’re not going to own up to anything, post W and during Trump, than insight is simply not in their DNA. This same Oxford study suggests Republicans are quick to believe hard right/alt-right type media sources and tend to circulate more of this junk than all the other audiences combined. In my anecdotal experience on the web, fake news is often identified and shutdown on liberal social sites, rather quickly. In fact, satire often gets a rough ride, but at least liberals have more built-in gatekeepers (even in comment thread-land). For example, one hour ago I posted this on FB:

 

Do you really think the same people who mistook Steven Colbert for one of their own are going to have that level of sophfiltercation? To become this politically clueless doesn’t happen by accident; it takes a concerted effort. From time to time I still wonder what the late great Christopher Hitchens would say about the Age of Trump. Hey, let’s do an experiment! I’m going to post that same Discord bit on a pro-Trump site. It’s midnight, on a weekday… so why not? Crap, I have to send a request to join each group…

[23 Hours later]

Update: I was able to join and post on one called Trump Fan Club (after sufficiently failing an initial questionnaire to the administrator’s satisfaction), but 23-hours later the post had no comments and only one like.

So this experiment is inconclusive, but kudos to Duane for the like and share! That same Oxford study reviewed tens of thousand of Twitter and Facbook posts and during a phone interview the head researcher said:

“Most of the junk news that people share over social media ends up with Trump’s fans, the far right. They’re playing with different facts, and they think they have the inside scoop on conspiracies … It appears a small chunk of the population isn’t able to talk politics or share ideas in a sensible way with the rest of the population.”

—Phillip Howard

The problem remains, this so-called ‘small chunk of the population’ has a supermajority. Welcome to my rightmare. Why do seemingly intelligent people get hooked on such disreputable news sources? Uh, present company excluded. My blogversary Pokey is a bright guy and yet he remains complicit with this growing problem. I have made some suggestions to lead my friend back from the abyss and how to avoid the pack of dogs he’s currently running with. Gorge of Eternal Feral?

For savvy liberal journalists: Jonathon Chait, Juan Cole and Paul Waldman

For impressive Christian conservatives: Damon Linker, or Andrew Sullivan (although he is independent now)

For Republicans with remaining frontal lobe activity: David Frum, David Brooks, or anyone else named David.

 

Republican “thought”  has been hijacked by the Sean Hannitys of the world. On the eve of writing this Sean and Jesse Waters worked Bo Bergdahl, Benghazi, Susan Rice’s unmasking, the dossier, the illegally obtained FISA warrant and Uranium One into one rant.

Hint of the Day: Combine all these scandals and you’re the better part of one areola to exposing Nipplegate.

Change channel to CNN that same night and a Republican, Trey Dowdy, the lead Republican witch hunter, is heading up an investigation into the Rob Porter scandal. This is due to discrepancies between Trump’s White House and the FBI timelines involved. This is stuff from tonight, not from the Ghost of Hillary Clinton past.

News Flash: No one in the White House, except maybe our four-star friends, should hold any type of intelligence clearance.

Our republic is in jeopardy, folks, and the very faction who brought us here hasn’t even bothered to notice. The GOP and its media megaphones remain a delicate combination of mindless populism and Nazi-style propaganda techniques. This is truly a Trump-at-the-Moscow-Hotel sad, sad state of affairs.

 

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

  12 comments for “Study Finds Debating Table Lamp More Engaging Than Average Republican

  1. pokey
    February 22, 2018 at 8:41 AM

    Facts? Okay, I accept as a fact that Republicans read and send factually incorrect news items more than Democrats. I don’t accept your interpretation of that fact. Your interpretation leads you to the conclusion that you don’t have to listen to Republicans (how convenient)

    I repeatedly ask members of the left (including yourself) to confirm or deny these alleged facts:
    1) Ms. Clinton said repeatedly that she did not have any classified emails on her server.
    2) 113 emails on her private server were found to have classified information (3 had classification markers)
    3) It is a crime to mishandle classified information
    4) James Coumey said there is no evidence that her 30,000 deleted emails were deleted in an attempt to conceal information.
    5) President Obama told CBS in March 2005 that he learned about CLinton’s private server “through news reports.”
    6) President Obama had actually emailed Ms. Clinton on her private server.
    7) In June 2016, James Couey began writing Ms. Clinton’s exoneration letter before he interviewed her.
    8) Lorretta Lynch met with Bill Clinton while his wife was under investigation, and Lynch did not recuse herself.
    9) Sept. 2 2016–Peter Stryok and Lisa Paige discussed talking points that were prepared for them by FBI director Coumey.
    10) Deputy Director McCabe testified before the committee in December 2017 that no surveillance warrant would have been sought from FISA without the Steele Dossier information.
    11) The Steele Dossier information was paid for by Hillary CLinton and the DND
    12) While the FBI was working to exonerate Hillary CLinton they were spying on Donald Trump’s campaign.

    Nobody on the Left seems to acknowledge these facts. Could you please correct my “facts” if they are in error?
    Thank you.

    • Mick Zano
      February 22, 2018 at 3:52 PM

      I have addressed all of Hillary’s assaults on mankind and, sadly, will be forced to do so for years to come. If you want to harass an unemployed woman, be my guest. But remember that today, a sitting president–with a job and with and an ongoing relevance to our collective future–is failing to acknowledge a coordinated effort by Russia to interfere with our elections and, more importantly, he is failing to meet the basic responsibilities of the office. And, when this Russia probe is over, his cabinet will break both the indictment record and possibly our republic itself. If you want to lock her up, fine, I really could care less. This would be relevant were she president, albeit barely. But I would like to point out, once again, what I have always predicted would happen. The most relevant criticism of Hillary Clinton in the 21st century is whether or not she weaponized the DNC to defeat her opponent Bernie Sanders. Notice how that one is overlooked in your list of hangable offenses? All along I warned that if you focus on the 90% garbage on Fox and Frauds, you will overlook the 10% of your argument that may actually be valid. I encourage you to stay on that point, because it may prove relevant. I realize relevancy is no longer the MO of the republican party. Personal responsibility and individual freedom has been replaced with distraction and disparity. History will eventually relegate your list into two camps, either crap or poop.

      • Mick Zano
        February 22, 2018 at 4:10 PM

        I would like to clarify on my premise that debating a republican is worthless in 2018. I have always enjoyed arguing with you, personally, but that’s because you are an independent, not a republican, ha!

        • Pokey
          February 23, 2018 at 8:27 AM

          Thank you for the clarification. I’ve finally read Wilber’s “Trump in a Post Truth World.” I don’t know how to turn it into an article for the discord. I’ll send you some further thoughts soon.

      • Pokey
        February 23, 2018 at 8:21 AM

        You’re article was about Republicans not accepting facts. I’m not stating these facts for the purpose of criticizing Hillary Clinton. I’m stating these facts as they pertain to the FBI bias in the current investigation. Most people I speak with on the Left, do not acknowledge these facts. Do you acknowledge that while the FBI was exonerating Hillary Clinton they were spying on her political adversary’s campaign, and that they gained permission to spy on Trump’s campaign only by using the Steele Dossier which was paid for by the Clinton campaign? Do you acknowledge these facts?

        • Mick Zano
          February 23, 2018 at 11:29 AM

          That’s an important point. If a small irrelevant fact is told in the woods, with no one there to hear it, does it still lead to an indictment? Yes, of course, some of it’s true. It’s always about some false equivalency. The usual processes of our DOJ and our intelligence agencies does not trump Russia’s attempt to tip our election. Thankfully our intelligence community was onto Carter Page early, through a legally obtained FISA warrant. Amidst the rest of that contrived nonsense, the Nunes memo admitted that the investigation started with George Papadopoulos, not the dossier. Even if that’s wrong, which it’s apparently not, the dossier funding started with Fusion GPS not Hillary. Why don’t we care what’s in the dossier? It seems to be panning out and the British intelligence officer who wrote said ‘it’s likely 80 to 90% accurate’. So why are you giving the benefit of the doubt to the KGB over a Kingsman type? Have you met with, corresponded with, or traveled to meet with anyone with ties to the Kremlin, Pokey? I have Mueller’s email and I understand how to legally obtain a FISA warrant. This conversation has been monitored for your protection.

  2. Pokey
    February 23, 2018 at 3:19 PM

    The issue–could the FBI have obtained the FISA warrant without the Dossier?

    • Mick Zano
      February 23, 2018 at 7:15 PM

      Yes. As it turns out the court system’s process for obtaining a FISA and continuing one is very stringent …and the Fox News inquiries into any suspected liberal wrongdoing …not so much.

      • Pokey
        February 24, 2018 at 9:53 AM

        That is my point. The process for obtaining a FISA warrant and continuing one IS very stringent. What evidence did the FBI present to the FISA judge to convince him that there was probable cause to believe that Carter Page was acting as an agent of a foreign power? Perhaps they had that probable cause. But if the FBI’s necessary piece of evidence was the (“salacious and unverified” James Comey) Dossier then we have a problem. Did the FBI inform the FISA judge that the investigation that resulted in the Dossier was paid for by a political party that was presently engaged in a contest for the most powerful position in the world? IF (and it is a big IF) the FBI worked with Democratic Party to compromise their political adversaries…well, let’s just say it would be far more grievous than what the Democratic Party did to Bernie Sanders. These answers can and will be discovered.

        This is an entirely different subject than the FACT that Russia worked to influence our presidential election. The nation of Russia infiltrated our electoral process for the purpose of dividing us (Russia has a history of that–refer to my article on Stalin). This FACT should UNIFY us as Americans to do whatever is necessary to protect our Republic from the constant threat of infiltration from outside enemies.

        How will we respond to such crisis?

        • Mick Zano
          February 24, 2018 at 11:27 AM

          What Fox News does, rather effectively, is spread doubt. We don’t have all the evidence the FBI presented to the judge, so obviously that’s where the wrong doing lies. There’s still questions to a scandal if every ridiculous unfounded, Hannity-sniffing-glue, lead is not chased, captured and forced to ‘rub the lotion on its skin’. Call it what it is, a distraction. Even if the whole Dossier thing is true, it’s still very debatable if Clinton even broke the law.

          It’s always the same thing, let’s avoid the collapse of the republic so we can get the Clintons on some technicality. Let me assure you, the possible annulment of a presidency is not a technicality. Everything started with Papadapawhatsas, for bragging that Trump had dirt on Hillary from the Russians. Russian foreign agents were actively trying to groom Carter Page. He was on Trump’s team and at one point admitted he was an adviser to the Kremlin. So it’s not news that Trump’s ‘best people’ either left or are being indicted? Should the FBI have still been focusing on Benghazi?

          Anyone who had fears and suspicions of Trump and his cronies and their dubious ties to Russia should be commended and we should UNIFY around giving them front row seats for the impeachment proceedings.

          • Mick Zano
            February 24, 2018 at 1:02 PM

            And another thing, is it that hard to believe the “salacious and unverified” Dossier is real? Is it really a stretch that Mr. “Grab ’em by the pussy” could be salacious in private? Any port in a Stormy? If it’s unverified, don’t we just need a urine sample. Ha!

            • Mick Zano
              February 25, 2018 at 1:44 PM

              I turned this comment thread into an article, ha! anyway check it out on the main page and let me know what you think. I wish we hadn’t slipped into counterproductive tribalism, but here we are, my friend, with no end in sight.

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