Paris, FR—Paris Hilton was arrested last night after French police conducted a strip search of the debutante in the French capital last night. The Hilton family heiress was, according to French police, hiding a large quantity of cocaine in her person.
When asked what a baggie of cocaine was doing lodged in her privates, Hilton responded, “That’s not mine. The vagina is in mine, sure, but I haven’t been up there myself in some time.” She then added, “I have people for that.”
French police were also highly offended by where Paris Hilton chose to insert a sizeable replica of the Eiffel Tower.
“Oh, that,” said Hilton, “I think I picked that up at the Parisian Palace last week in Vegas.”
Hilton is now reportedly suing Las Vegas for false advertising.
“Isn’t their motto supposed to be ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?’ I don’t think that means it’s supposed to be forcibly removed by strange men in uniform in another country!”
Reportedly, Hilton later told friends and family how the items were placed there in an eerily similar manner.