Deceased Mime Appointed White House Press Secretary

Deceased Mime Appointed White House Press Secretary

Critics of the president feel this is yet another barrier and that the decision shows a disturbing lack of seriousness. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) voiced his objections today, “The Obama Administration ran for office on transparency and they are making a game of charades out of this important function.”

Obama responded to the Senator’s allegations with more of his patented-aloof-smugness (PAS). “It’s not going to be anything like charades,” said Obama. “This is going to be more like a professional version of charades. It’s simply part of my evolving position on the role and function of our Press Secretary. In the past, when I’ve tried to explain something honestly it gets misconstrued and spun to the point of absurdity. Thus Carney’s mandate to pretty much shut the fuck up. This is the next logical response to our nonsensical media. Sometimes decipherable syllables would slip out of Jay’s mouth and I won’t have any more of that. The American people deserve better.”

The White House is denying rumors that other candidates for the position ranged from Obama’s dog, Bo, to his teleprompter, Bo Bo, to even a Madame Tussauds’ replica of Helen Keller’s dog.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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