A Recent Email Exchange Between Barak Obama and the Discord’s Own, Mick Zano

Mick —

This night could not have happened 40 years ago — or even 4 years ago.

And it could not have happened without you.

You believed, against the odds, that change was possible. I felt your passion here tonight, and I know it was shared by millions of Americans who are building this movement all across the country.

Tonight is your night. But tonight is just the beginning.

I need your support more than ever.

Barak Obama

Dear Barak,

I don’t think we should see each other any more. It was fun and all, and, let’s face it, Biden was a much better pick than what’s-her-name. But here’s the thing: you’ve been plugging up my email and impeding my ability to get to LesbianGladiators.com. I need lesbians Barak, and I am not as interested in their rights to visit each other in hospitals as I am their ability to fight each other in the field of battle with only their glistening god-given armor and a broad sword (pardon the pun).

Mick Zano

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.