Limbaugh had me riveted today while putting along in my rental car. The Rushinator finally proved a worthy copilot. Mark this day on your calendars, folks (10/20/16), the day after the third and final debacle …er, debate. I agreed with him on an entire segment! Don’t get too excited, Republicans, as Mayan, Greek and Norse mythology connect this event to the coming acropolis (especially Greek). Trump overachieved and Hillary brought the card board version of herself. A tie goes to the Trumpster and it was either a win for him, or a tie. Liberal anchors were stating how she creamed him and yet the dissonance was palpable. Obama, Biden, Warren, or Bernie (anyone with a liberal pulse) could have buried Trump alive under the weight of his own bullshit. Admittedly, conservative crapola does fling at dizzying speeds these days, so how does anyone tackle that one turd amidst Mr. Trump’s bullshit barrage? Why am I pissed? Trump should have suffered for his lies and he didn’t. Citizen Kaine was even worse in the VP debate. I haven’t been less excited about a ticket since Nevada passed that ‘hands free’ law. How are traveling ventriloquists supposed to practice on the road now, Vegas?! Didn’t think of that, did you! A vast number of Dems would have had a better debate performance than Madam Hesitant. For each and every exchange Obama would have crucified Trump, and he’s not even Roman.
Were this a hockey game, Hillary underachieved in this final period. No, really, that’s what they’re blaming, it was her… Sorry. Dr. Leigh is glaring at me from somewhere across Arizona. If liberal news anchors were so impressed with her debate performance, why didn’t they act it? It seemed like a post-debate wake—one of those open casket ones, when they really should have went with choice two. Rush also commented how she didn’t look good. I agree. Not to feed into her health scare stuff, but her eyes were glassy and she seemed ready to stumble into a ditch. Just like on Between Two Ferns. Buzzedfeed? Still, it was sad to see these lib anchors overplay their hand. They weren’t prepared for this outcome and it showed. If Trump had just answered the easy one, about accepting the outcome of the election, I don’t know how you can even argue she won.
Rush said he cringed at Trump’s missed opportunities. He didn’t extrapolate much on this, so I agreed again. Why not? It’s agree with Rush day. Planets align like this only once every 16,000 news cycles, so enjoy it. I guess Trump didn’t mention Benghazi, but I think he touched on all the other crazy red-meat you people tend to subsist on. Hillary seemed not only to miss all of the opportunities to call him out, but she failed to even defend herself. Nulltytasking? She didn’t take the high road so much as spaced out and passed out in the road during the actual question. Legalize it, but don’t abuse the stuff, lady. You’re winning in AZ so don’t flake out. 4:20 to Yuma?
[Senator Jeff Flake joke removed by the editor.]
No one agrees with me, apparently, but that’s part of the gig. Trump’s benchmark was always set so low that even the limbo champion of Kuia is like “dude, I’m not a centipede.” Why is that? That’s my question for you conservative types. This was simply my impression of what transpired yesterday. Overall, Trump’s demeanor was awful. He came out as predicted, not presidential but more like a desperate, paranoid, cornered animal. His ego will not permit him to accept defeat. I don’t know why this is a surprise to anyone. Andrew Sullivan led the charge on how Trump’s unwillingness to accept the election results are “disqualifying.” Sorry, but nothing he says has any link back to our democracy, our Constitution or the rule of law. In fact, ‘Off With Their Heads’ can also fit on a red cap and the phrase better suits how a President Trump would actually govern. Kidding, he’s not going to govern. He will hand everything to Pence and go golfing with Obama. Double bogeyman?
I admit I didn’t help much either. Right here on
The Daily Discord I suggested Clinton prepare for the debate in
Mrs. McKenzie’s class, but it’s retraction time:
Discord Retraction Alert:
I, Mick Zano of sound mind and booty (I do have a high IQ and a great ass), should have suggested Hillary prepare for the debate at Arkham Asylum for the criminally insane. It was a rookie mistake and I know my readers (both of them) have come to expect more of me.
What disappointed me most about last night’s performance was her foreign policy prowess, or lack thereof. There are 30,000 ISIS fighters in Mosul, not several thousand, and there are about a million innocents. What was this Trump nonsense about not announcing we’re invading ahead of time? He knows more than the generals alright… [General Aladeen and General Scheisskopf were unavailable for comment.] Yet none of her answers were as specific as I had hoped. She could have dismantled him on foreign policy, and she was expected to. She chose, instead, to be almost as vague and ill-informed as The Donald. Interesting tactic. It was an off night for her, for sure. I think what bothers me most is my next prediction: we will not see a zany SNL bit about the third debate, which is perhaps the most tragic consequence of all.
Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to call Rush Limbaugh and bury the hatchet. Not in is back. We are going to just be two guys, kicking back a beer, and agreeing a lot about last night’s debate …well, after he drops the restraining order.
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