Was Churchill’s Speech Really About Zombies?

Was Churchill’s Speech Really About Zombies?

London—The original recording of Winston Churchill’s 1940 speech is under scrutiny and many believe the Prime Minister was actually concerned about the dead rising from their graves to conquer England. Was Churchill’s original “fight on the beaches” bit about Nazis or zombies? Some even speculate it was about both Nazis and zombies like in Dead Snow (2009) or Shock Waves (1977). Just keep an open mind at this chilling new translation of that most famous of speeches:

We shall go on to the end…like in Omega Man (1971) or the Last Man on Earth (1964).

We shall fight in France…like in They Came Back (2004) and La horde (2009).

We shall fight on the seas and oceans…like in World War-Z (2013) and Zombie (1979).

We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air…like in Flight of the Living Dead (2007) and Quarantine 2 (2011).

We shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be…like in Zombie Island Massacre (1984) and Island of the Living Dead (2006) and Scooby Doo on Zombie Island (1998)…a personal favorite.

We shall fight on the beaches…like in The Horror of Party Beach (1964) and Zombie Beach (2010).

We shall fight on the landing grounds…like in Warm Bodies (2013) and that other one whose name escapes me right now. It’s an Italian film; I can see the movie poster in my head.

We shall fight in the fields and in the streets…like in Dawn of The Dead (1978), the Walking Dead (2012), 28 Days Later (2002) and jinkies a whole shitload of others. Sorry, I just watched the Scooby Doo one. Zoinks! (Churchill really said Zoinks!)

We shall fight in the hills…like in Sugar Hill (1974) and Night of the Living Dead (1968).

But head shots only…we shall never dismember!

Unless it’s a demonic thing like in The Evil Dead (1981) and then by all means hack away.

—Winston Churchill

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.