Donald Trump: Constitutional Scholar Or Return Of the Prodigal Dumb?

Pokey is singlehandedly blowing up our comment threads again, which is actually a welcome change from the usual spam. As tradition dictates, most of his comments equate to the old rightwing bait-n-switch. Whether he realizes it or not, the right’s recent social media  two-step is an effort to quell the increasing cognitive dissonance and avoid the whole, ‘Oops, we kind of elected a braindead fascist to run the free world.’ What’s the worst that could happen? I’m actually fine with a full collapse, anything to avoid having to binge watch the next season of Netflix’s Gotham. Just throw out your copy of the Constitution, Pokey, your president already has. Kidding, he never had one.

Pokey’s comments are a Resist movement lowlight reel. The right remains transfixed on angry millennials. Whereas angry young people are completely devoid of any political power, they somehow pose the greatest threat to our First Amendment rights

Wait, is it Opposite Day?

Young people are apparently mounting this coup through a delicate blend of endless disruptions and all-night keggers. Which begs the constitutional question, should we protect the right to keep and beer pongs? From my cold keg stands? Am I condoning this behavior? …maybe on Saturdays. Fine, Pokey, I agree that no one should infringe on anyone’s free speech in this country, period, but why do these individual incidents outweigh what’s happening systemically in the Oval Office?

Retraction: there is nothing systemic about it.

Leave it to Republicans to ignore the real threat, every time. If the dam above town was about to burst, Republicans would be covering a story on the puddle forming outside of the Circle K …well, in their defense, it is purple and suspiciously close to the Slurpee machine. Tell you what, you explore the bad behavior of every liberal protestor in the lower 48, Pokey, and I’ll focus on the gross abnormalities of the 2016 election. No? What if we renamed it Voteghazi? No? Then at least look into my post election drinking habits. Black Russians Matter?

Look, Trump has a super majority, which equates to an army of people with a worse record than even Art Garfunkel’s solo album. Too old of a reference? Fine, how about David Lee Roth’s, aka Hello, Yankee Rosegoodbye Diamond Dave! Nothing? Screw you people. Trump probably will.

What’s Pokey’s malfunction this time?

“When has the Left rented a space for a speaking engagement, and the Right disallowed the speaking engagement to take place? I’m not talking about somebody going to a rally of a political adversary and being made to feel uncomfortable or threatened. I’m talking about having your own legally ‘paid for’ event space being disrupted so that people are disallowed to enter the venue (see Berkeley or NYU or even such attempts at Donald Trump rallies) or that people take over the stage and disallow the scheduled speaker to use the microphone (see Black Lives Matter at Bernie Sanders). I do not recall the Right engaging in such activity. I challenge you to show me that I’m wrong.”

I can usually do that even before my morning coffee. Warning: I’ve already had my morning coffee.

This is just the precursors of revolution, Pokey. Mmmmm, precursors. If you want to pit the ACLU against some student council somewhere, go for it. I don’t know the specifics on these cases but, generally, private spaces and private places have little to do with the First Amendment. You have the right to be as wrong as you want, but there’s no guarantee of a platform.

Our freedoms are certainly in peril, but why not address the 800 lb. orangutan in the room? How do the actions of individual protestors trump, President Ass-Clown Hitler? You’re going to take that bet? Really? For the most part, it’s spontaneous student interruptions (SSI) vs. blatant Republican deconstructionism. Republicans won’t just deconstruct vital government departments, but put our entire system of checks and balances at risk. They are formally silencing the press, actively gerrymandering, and have successfully implemented widespread voter suppression. Are you holding that document upside down, Pokey? As for free speech, Congress just yanked the microphone out of Elizabeth Warren’s hands for trying to recite a relevant letter during the confirmation hearing of a known asshole. The aforementioned student council is sadly silent on this matter.

Freedom of the press is integral to the First Amendment, yet Trumpidente may yet kick the press out of the White House all together, and this week he allowed only one credible news agency to even attend his Mess Conference. On a good note, maybe future press conferences can shift to a Between Two Ferns format.

Ass-Clown is also hiring the lawyers who took down Gawker. So he’s likely going to start using these thugs to bully a number of dissenting news sources all across the country, including *gasp* blogs. He will call them “Offensive” and “Fake” and “Fakefensive”. In the name of free speech he will Gawker them out of existence. This crapola has already started with Melania, here. In the Trump family’s defense, they really don’t have enough character worthy of defaming.

Our President also wants flag burners stripped of their citizenship, which is also protected under freedom of speech. But don’t feel bad, Pokey, every corner of the Constitution is at risk under this man-child that you have big-handpicked to defend the Constitution. Don’t toddler on me? Or is this one more apropoo?

Republicans have always had to resort to bait-n-switch to avoid looking in the mirror. Yeah, I wouldn’t do that. Just pretend you’re a vampire with an eating disorder. Things will likely degrade further on both sides, right up until the revolution. Sorry you’re lagging on the whole current events thing, Poke, but a revolution is not out of the question. I prefer to allow the Trump Collapse to happen first, you know, to support the choices of our pathetic political brethren as well as defend the rule of law. But, like it or not, a collapse is very likely under the sheer weight of Republican stupidity. That is when we will likely make our move. On this point I remain cautiously pessimistic.

I admit many liberals don’t want to wait until they lose their healthcare, their paychecks, or their lives, thus all the bad behavior. But, like it or not, the actions of the right are always at least 10x more deplorable, well, if history is any judge. Speaking of judges, Trump has already effectively marginalized the press, so what happens if this buffoon starts ignoring our judges? What is your contingency plan then, Dr. Constitution? …you know, when the last of our checks and balances fail? It does comfort me to know you’re snuggling somewhere with your copy of the Constitution, perusing it for ways to keep the Black Lives Matter menace at bay. The First Amendment was designed to protect the people from an oppressive government, Pokey, aka, the people you voted for. When are you going to realize what’s happening?

RESIST.

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

  10 comments for “Donald Trump: Constitutional Scholar Or Return Of the Prodigal Dumb?

  1. Pokey McDores
    February 27, 2017 at 10:21 PM

    the simplistic labels that your side places on people is the reason that you were so demolished in the last election–from Trump to the Congress.

    Tea Party=racist
    Trump=Hitler
    Mohammadens=peaceful
    Christians=racist, sexist, homophobic

    Common sense and experience tells us a different story, l so trusting the source of this narrative, and supporting anybody who will rebel against this narrative.

    I will say that silencing Elizabeth Warren was in bad taste and bad PR, but from what I understand, there are technically Congressional rules against her behavior.

    I do agree with you that there is a collapse coming, however I see your blame as being simplistic. Who caused the crisis in 2008? What’s been done since then to address the central causes of that economic problem? I say both the Democrats and Republicans have both been kicking the can down the road for centuries.

    Yes, there is a coming revolution; but its hardly organic. Its been orchestrated for a long time. Follow the money.

    With Russia? I have seen no evidence that Russia’s interference effected the results of the election.

    Ultimately, if it wasn’t for the media-perpetuated and widely believed left wing lie that Michael Brown said “Hands up; don’t Shoot!” and the media/left wing orchestrated lie that George Zimmerman’s killing of Trevon Martin was racially motivated–which both sparked riots, I might not be so skeptical about the media stories that are leading to justified rioting against the “Adolf Hitler of our time.”

    I do think we need to keep a critical eye on Donald Trump; but the mainstream media has cried wolf so many times that even if they did prove that Trump was the tyrant they have been portraying him to be, his central supporters would never sway from their support for him.

    Yep, Donald Trump is polarizing alright; he’s probably the most polarizing president since Abraham Lincoln.

    • Mick Zano
      February 27, 2017 at 11:29 PM

      And now in narrative format: (still would prefer a feature *sigh*)

      Pokey: the simplistic labels that your side places on people is the reason that you were so demolished in the last election–from Trump to the Congress.

      Zano: Actually we were waaaaay too nice. You don’t get to screw up the nation and the planet without paying some kind of cost. History will damn republicans, but i’m not going to wait.

      Pokey:
      Tea Party=racist
      Trump=Hitler
      Mohammadens=peaceful
      Christians=racist, sexist, homophobic

      Zano: These equations are more accurate:
      Tea Party = tend to elect morons
      Trump= Ass-Clown Hitler
      Mohammadens = good, bad, and ugly
      Christians = tend to elect morons

      Pokey: I will say that silencing Elizabeth Warren was in bad taste and bad PR, but from what I understand, there are technically Congressional rules against her behavior.
      I do agree with you that there is a collapse coming, however I see your blame as being simplistic. Who caused the crisis in 2008?

      Zano: Republicans caused the collapse. Fannie and Freddie was a blip compared to putting two unnecessary wars on the credit card, during Bush’s ill conceived tax cuts. These triggered an economic downturn. Here are the numbers http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/who-i-really-i-caused-the-deficit-chart. They are public record through the congressional budget office.

      Pokey: What’s been done since then to address the central causes of that economic problem? I say both the Democrats and Republicans have both been kicking the can down the road for centuries.

      Zano: Correct, almost nothing was done under Obama, except Dodd/Frank, which republicans are currently dismantling. See? they are always worse, regardless of the topic.

      Pokey: Yes, there is a coming revolution; but its hardly organic. Its been orchestrated for a long time. Follow the money.

      Zano: Well, sign me up.

      Pokey: With Russia? I have seen no evidence that Russia’s interference effected the results of the election.

      Zano: Then you should not fear an independent prosecutor. I know, you would rather hold another Benghazi investigation.

      Pokey: Ultimately, if it wasn’t for the media-perpetuated and widely believed left wing lie that Michael Brown said “Hands up; don’t Shoot!” and the media/left wing orchestrated lie that George Zimmerman’s killing of Trevon Martin was racially motivated–which both sparked riots, I might not be so skeptical about the media stories that are leading to justified rioting against the “Adolf Hitler of our time.”

      Zano: wow.

      Pokey: I do think we need to keep a critical eye on Donald Trump; but the mainstream media has cried wolf so many times that even if they did prove that Trump was the tyrant they have been portraying him to be, his central supporters would never sway from their support for him.

      Zano: I maintain the media has cried Blitzer. Who’s going to keep a critical eye on Trump? We are down to the judicial branch, if he ignores them, will you join the fight against him? What the hell will it take? This has lasted 35 days longer than it should have.

  2. pokey
    March 3, 2017 at 8:35 AM

    I acknowledge that Session’s response to Al Frankin’s question about communication with Russia was suspicious, since Frankin never asked him about his own communications; but it’s hardly perjury. The bottom line–did Trump’s campaign actively work with the Russian government to hack the Democrats insecure servers? The people in the intelligence community who are now leaking information obviously know the answer. Leak the smoking gun or get off the pot. And yes, if (a big if) but if it can be shown that Trump’s campaign actively worked with Russia to commit crimes against the Democrats, then we must impeach him.

    I must note that you were not very concerned with the last Attorney General meeting with Hillary Clinton’s husband while she was actually being investigated by the FBI. She didn’t need to recuse herself, did she? Bill Clinton receiving 500,000 dollars for a speech in Moscow, while Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State didn’t trouble Mick Zano. Russia receiving rights to mine for Uranium on U.S. soil during this time was nothing to concern himself with. But now that Trump’s in office, Zano pushes the Russian reset button.

    • Mick Zano
      March 3, 2017 at 4:43 PM

      Bumbling Bill was just a ridiculous incident, likely not nefarious. There were a number of witnesses to that unscheduled event. Bill was probably drunk and I believe Lynch recused herself in a timely fashion. It was an embarrassment, for sure, but little more. The Sessions show ranges from perjury to treason. At the very least this smells like perjury. That’s a different range. Isn’t it concerning how, in the first month, the only defense left for the GOP is always, uh, someone somewhere else did something just as bad, remember that? Huh? How is this different from the darkest days of the Truman Administration? Watch Fox Noise, that’s all they’re doing …ONE MONTH IN. These examples (like Lynch’s) are often less egregious and meant to deflect from the real story. Stop defending this guy. The sooner he’s gone, the better. Can’t we agree on that? Hillary survived countless hearings and investigations virtually unscathed, these morons can’t even keep their story straight during their office welcome party. Look i was totally behind Trump for that first morning he was in office. Hah! Luckily Obama restored the Bush Justice Department from Alberto “torture” Gonzales, so that the department can’t be as easily politicized. These rules may help expose this new threat. Republicans always deconstruct the rules that matter. See history. I am interested in this uranium thing but don’t remember it. that behavior would piss me off regardless of party affiliation.

      Bill Clinton = few too many
      Donald Trump = few cards shy of full deck.

      • Pokey McDores
        March 3, 2017 at 9:44 PM

        P.S. I can’t find evidence that Lynch recused herself at all, much less in a timely manner. I don’t say that divert from the current administration, but to show you the double standard on the Left and the Mainstream Media. It’s convenient that the Mainstream Media only makes sure that you remember events that bolster your own narrative.

        • Mick Zano
          March 3, 2017 at 11:48 PM

          You’re right! CNN wrongly reported that she recused herself. Dang! Touche. I was going on memory. Yes, both sides do it. I have covered this phenomenon for a long time, but it’s not really a double standard if republicans no longer have any. At some point that will have to become apparent. Should Sessions recuse himself from Pence’s email scandal investigation? or Trump’s or Bannons? No, we don’t even investigate republican wrongdoing. At the time of Hillary’s private server issues, of course, that’s simply how we operated (See Colin Powell). But these guys are STILL doing it, post making a big deal of this crap. The Audacity of Dope? Today we find, as Gov of Indiana, Pence was working from an unprotected server while making hay out of Hillary’s emails. But I don’t even care. This may have been Hillary’s worst offense, but it’s really not much of a scandal by republicans standards. Oh, wait, they don’t have those. It’s a scandal that they made it such a scandal and never even changed their own behavior, but otherwise… Yawn. Of course, it was all the result/offshoot of the 17th otherwise meaningless Benghazi investigations. Trump will have real scandals, real juicy ones that involve something called ‘clear wrongdoing’ …and these will be the days worth living for.

          • Pokey
            March 4, 2017 at 6:03 AM

            Was it a real scandal when Bill Clinton received $500,000 for a speech delivered in Moscow from a company with deep ties to Russian intelligence in 2010 (when Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State)? This same year, the Clinton Foundation “earned” 145 million dollars (not disclosed) in “donations” from nine different stockholders in a Canadian company called Uranium One that was sold to the Russian government. The Russian takeover of Uranium One required and received Hillary Clinton’s approval, which transferred 20% of all U.S. Uranium to the Russian Government. I told you of this story days before the election and it didn’t seem to be that important.
            Podesta’s business was in bed with the Russian government (invested 35 million in his company) when he was advising Clinton as Secretary of State.
            And so many more real scandals that the Media, and you, ignored.

            The reason I have difficulty buying these Trump scandals that are now being pushed is because these same people saw no concern with the “clear wrongdoings” of their side.

            If there were “clear wrongdoing” with Trump-Russia colluding to steal election, I think the whisteblowers would have released the smoking gun by now. It seems they are just finding information that sloppily suggestive of wrongdooing without having to prove it.

            ***Bottom line**** If it turns out that Trump’s scandals with the Russians are as bad as the Clinton’s were, then we have an obligation to demand Congress impeach him.

            By the way, while the mainstream media is keeping us hypnotized by this “scandal,” 3 teenage girls were kidnapped by a Salvadoran gang in Houston. They were raped and one was killed in a satanic ritual. Dare I say that most of the gang members were here illegally? Undocumented? And Bernie Sanders’ model of socialist utopia, Sweden is currently in flames. I know that these stories are not as important as the derailing of Ass-Clown-Hitler.

            • Mick Zano
              March 4, 2017 at 10:39 AM

              well, at least we can agree on your last sentence.

              • Pokey
                March 4, 2017 at 7:07 PM

                My last sentence was meant to convey a sense of irony.

              • Mick Zano
                March 4, 2017 at 8:54 PM

                I have to get back to blogging, so send a feature with a single subject matter that I may dismantle accordingly. Suffice to say, I’m sure anyone can point to a few less than stellar Clinton moments over their combined 80 years of service, although it is out of character for you to address ones that may have some merit. What I am saying is how the breadth, scope, depth, speed, and level of Trump’s lies and recklessness is in no way comparable …to even Dubya. Ten times worse does not capture what is happening here and this will likely become apparent shortly (see: the near future).

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