Down The Ratings Hole: Trump’s Adventures in Blunderland Or Fox’s Omissions Through The Not-Looking Glass

Guilt by omission is a favorite tactic of both sides of the media these days, but Hannity spent an entire hour neglecting to even acknowledge a leak suggesting our president is exploring options to fire special prosecutor Robert Mueller and pardon himself. On the night of this breaking news, Hannity and the rest of the Fox & Frauds hid safely in OJparoleville. After all, one dangerous black man in your community trumps a collapsing White House, right? The impeach-o-meter jumped a bit with the revelation that The Donald may well be muellering his choices here. Fox can get away with this selective-amnesia, because essentially Republican politicians are the checks and balances for this shit (aka, we have no checks and balances for this shit). They can push the boundaries of their alternative world to new dimensions. On this potentially historic news night the rift between Maddow/O’Donnell vs. Hannity/Carlson was astounding. My fear? With a super majority, Republicans will not address any of Trump’s shenanigans until it’s too late. If the republic does start to crumble in the days and weeks to come, we must, as the Doobie’s dictate, take it to the streets. Jesus is just alt-right with me?

Hannity spent nearly half of his 7/20 show covering OJ’s release. “We’re going to wait to have Mr. Simpson’s murdered wife exhumed for questioning (cut to another commercial).” He then segued to tonight’s monologue, which equated to: lay off this amazing president and let him work his magic. He insisted congress refocus on jobs, tiny hands government, no taxes, and urged his fellow Republicans to unite for the purpose of screwing up healthcare.

Or, my old joke:

He then reviewed Trump’s long list of accomplishments (five seconds), before turning his ire on the “swamp” for their relentless unsubstantiated attacks on this administration. He then demeaned the special prosecutor, Rober Mueller, citing his conflicts of interest, his liberal donations, and his unwillingness to focus on the important things. The important things being: who is doing the leaking, where are Hillary’s emails, and, of course, the upcoming 19th Benghazi hearing (this one comes with a light show!). If and when the axe falls for Mr. Mueller, it’s hoped many hours of creating this false narrative will change the story from: “This is some serious Nixon shit” to “How could Trump be expected to ignore the growing Mueller problem?”

Oh, and good luck finding a sentient person to lead an investigation in 2017 who gave $ to your side, Sean.

For the next riveting segment, Newt Gingrich then parroted Hannity while also dancing around the day’s astounding revelations. And no one should have to see Gingrich dance, EVER! Ted Cruz then discussed a plan forward on the Republican DeathCare bill, one that makes no sense to insurers or hospital administrators alike, before they discussed the El Chapo Act, an act designed to use the money from Mexican drug cartel busts to somehow fund the border wall. OMG! This is a parody of a country! Calling the U.S. a banana republic is unfair to other banana republics. Granted, I’ve been covering this descent for a long time, but now we have officially reached Dante’s 12th circle of El Chapo. Don’t worry, he can probably dig himself out.

Then to wrap up this conservative shit sundae, Hannity gave the last word to Tomi Lahren, a walking and talking Facebook hate thread. I realize I chose to watch this crap, but there must be some kind of civil suit I could file, right? Impersonal injury? Stand Your Remote law? Fine, I’ll work on that one.

Tucker Carlson’s show, which starts right after Hannity, also kicked off with a lengthy segment on OJ Simpon’s parole and Tucker seemed to resume this omission dance. At one point he said, “This was not the story (OJ’s parole for armed robbery), the story is how Simpson got away with a double murder.” No, Tucker, it’s you who’s getting away with murder, right now, by blindly ignoring the antics of an ass-clown at the twilight of our democracy.

Back in 2011 this website’s ticker—yes, back then the Discord had a top ticker—upon hearing the news that Christopher Hitchens had died I immediately posted, “The world dropped an IQ point today.” The NYT’s coincidentally followed my lead shortly thereafter. Channeling that theme, let me beat the NYTs to this one as well:

[Winslow: breaking news: shortly after Zano submitted this scathing assessment of the Fox anchor, the Media Research Center promptly pulled Hannity’s William F. Buckley Award for Media Excellence]. Know hope.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.