A study conducted by Northern Arizona University showed a significant correlation between recreational pot use and the losing of massive financial sponsorships. The study looked at seven people at random who had already lost major amounts of money due to revealing pot party photos. Michael Phelps is only the latest victim in a long chain of similar situations, often involving bowls and blunts and bongs, oh my. Professor Schmidt “Smitty” Stoltz, nearing both tenure and senility, suggests that famous sports figures should go back in time and stop their friends from taking pictures of them while in the process of smoking pot.