Hey, Let’s Show the World How Well We’re Doing on Emissions by Hosting the G20 in Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh, PA – Pittsburgh?  Why not Detroit?  Why not hold the whole summit in the muffler system of an abandoned Ford Granada parked in the sub-basement of a bomb shelter?  Not only is this the lamest venue yet for one of these global pow-wows, but the decision to host the G20 Summit in Pittsburgh is also cruelty to protestors.  The same people fighting for the environment are now gasping for air.  Of course, a lightheaded protestor is a peaceful protestor.  Granted, this staffer was twittering and texting during most of the summit, but it sounds like a secret uranium enrichment facility was discovered there.  Now, how stupid are we to host the summit at the very site where we are hiding a weapons facility in the first place?  This is intolerable.  How are we supposed to nuke the whales now?!  Hold, on, hold on…I’m getting a text from the Ghetto Shaman.  He doesn’t have any ID and he wants me to buy him beer.  I am going to cover the healthcare thingie now.  Wait, need coffee.  You know what?  Suck it, Winslow, I resign!  You cover the healthcare pubic option rebate.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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