Pittsburgh, PA – Pittsburgh? Why not Detroit? Why not hold the whole summit in the muffler system of an abandoned Ford Granada parked in the sub-basement of a bomb shelter? Not only is this the lamest venue yet for one of these global pow-wows, but the decision to host the G20 Summit in Pittsburgh is also cruelty to protestors. The same people fighting for the environment are now gasping for air. Of course, a lightheaded protestor is a peaceful protestor. Granted, this staffer was twittering and texting during most of the summit, but it sounds like a secret uranium enrichment facility was discovered there. Now, how stupid are we to host the summit at the very site where we are hiding a weapons facility in the first place? This is intolerable. How are we supposed to nuke the whales now?! Hold, on, hold on…I’m getting a text from the Ghetto Shaman. He doesn’t have any ID and he wants me to buy him beer. I am going to cover the healthcare thingie now. Wait, need coffee. You know what? Suck it, Winslow, I resign! You cover the healthcare pubic option rebate.