Washington, DC—President Barack Obama is calling for calm at this hour as The Daily Discord announced it’s going to be adding videos to its already despicable online repertoire. The unpopular e-zine, believed by some to be the work of the devil, is in its fourth year of publication which many feel is four years too long.
“There is still something called the 1st Amendment,” said Obama. “Well, until next year (heh, heh). So we must honor all freedom of speech, even in such extreme cases as The Daily Discord. Of course, we have drones for extreme cases as well one Pierce Winslow of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Nice car by the way.”
Pierce Winslow is not blinking, which is more of a medical condition than any sign of testicular fortitude. But the CEO of The Daily Discord is downplaying a deal made in an alley on the south side of the tracks with one Greg Horn of Video Design Studios Inc.
“We’ve been looking at several options for expanding to videos,” said Winslow. “I was in contact with Pixar and Lucasfilm Ltd, but Greg works for beer so he was a shoe in…or, in this case, a brew in.”
Mick Zano and Alex Bone are heading the project from the Discord’s satellite office in Flagstaff, Arizona. “We thought about moving them all back to the east coast for this phase of the project,” said Winslow, “but they’re much harder to handle in person, especially when you add The Ghetto Shaman to the mix. I decided, like that Offspring song, to keep them separated.”