Washington, DC—The Obama Administration has enlisted the aid of an important fictional superhero to help children understand why their family members have died while waiting for Obamacare coverage. Rocky and his trusty sidekick, Glitchy the Death Panel Pigeon, are already visiting numerous state exchanges, in full Kevlar, to explain recent enrollment glitches.
“Glitches are part of any new process, kids,” said Rocky. “Just ask my friend, Glitchy!” Unfortunately, by this time Glitchy had already passed out in a nearby alley.
President Obama expressed his deep disappointment in Glitchy’s performance today, but blames republicans for the iconic sidekick’s sudden turn to alcohol. The White House is not officially commenting on the rocky rollout for Rocky the Rollout Rodent, but an unnamed Obama advisor hinted that all government employed superhero-types were greatly impacted by the sequester.
Pauli the Stimulus Package Panda was unavailable for comment.