Intercourse, PA—CEO of the Daily Discord, Pierce Winslow, watched as the Supreme Diety burned his rural Pennsylvania home to the ground over Memorial Day weekend.
“It was horrible,” said Winslow. “God can really make you feel helpless. Sure, you can flip him off and yell obscenities from your front lawn, but if that fucker wants to torch your house, he’s gonna do it.”
Winslow believes that God tried to contact the Daily Discord several times last week, but his messages were ignored.
“Zano just doesn’t answer shit,” said Winslow. “He’s like an idiot savant without the savant. We have good people contributing material and we never answer any of them. God himself even tried our contact button last week, but we rarely answer such things. Heck, there’s a porn star that keeps emailing the Ghetto Shaman and we didn’t even answer her last few questions. So, under those circumstances, what chance does God have for a response, really? On that note, what’s the difference between a porn star and God? I would get up early on Sunday for a porn star.”
Winslow added, “I don’t even know why he’s sticking up for Muhammad. That prophet has issues. Somehow our article Jesus to be Brought before Grand Jury in Church Abuse Case goes unnoticed, not to mention all of our recent Pope bashing and now the big guy goes and picks a fight?”
Winslow wants God to know that a Mr. Cohen will be pressing his contact button soon, bitch.