Trump To Tour Arkham Asylum To Vet Potential Cabinet Members

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Gotham CityThe nation watches in anticipation as the president-elect, Donald Trump, vets key members of his future administration. He has chosen to shift the focus of his search to Arkham, an infamous Asylum for the criminally insane. Will his cabinet include Sarah Palin, Chris Christie, Newt Gingrich, or the Penguin? Dr. Jonathan Crane, aka The Scarecrow, will be conducting Tuesday’s tour of the facility and grounds. “He should think outside the isolation room for this one,” said Dr. Crane. “I hope he considers some of the lesser known talent, hidden away deep in the bowels of this important institution. Either Atomic-Man or the Electrocutioner would be well-suited to head the Department of Energy, and both of them have pending parole hearings. Two-Face would make the perfect Secretary of State and Mr. Freeze could single handedly combat global warming, well, if you believe in that sort of thing.”

Trump added, “I just want to talk to everyone, you know, off of their medications. That’s when you really get to see what makes them tick, like Anarky who’s into bombs. I might just drop him on ISIS. Doctor Hurt can revamp Obamacare and I could tap Poison Ivy to head up the Department of Agriculture. I just don’t want to forget all the evil people already in my life. Right now, I’m not even close to making my final decisions. All options are on the table.”

Dr. Crane added, “Actually, they’re strapped to the table and receiving Thorazine.”

Bruce Wayne told the Discord today, “Gotham cannot condone the early release of any criminal mastermind that I (cough), I mean Batman had committed to that facility. If Trump tries to appoint even one of those jokers to his cabinet, I will personally go bat …I mean ape shit!”

Commissioner Gordon had this to say, “Quickly! To the Batshit signal!”

 

 

Chris Christie with beard, republican presidential candidate, governor of new jerseybatShitSignal

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