Mosque of the Red Death: Fundamentalism, Tribalism and the Fighting Foxeteers

Mick Zano

So how does 70% of America end up on the wrong side of this mosque debate?  Well, I went a whole month without knocking Fox or Bush, but for this one a relapse is in order.  Fox is now trying to say that Obama is so desperate, he’s imploring Bush to help with the Great Moronic Mosque Debate of 2010 (GMMD-10).  In reality, the right has drifted so far into absurdity on this issue that Bush has actually become a shiny bright beacon of reason through which to lead lost souls back from the brink. 

Bush was able to differentiate radical Islam from moderate Islam.  But this new breed of conservatism can’t!  Bush actually did really well on this subject post 9/11.  But instead of learning anything from nearly destroying America, conservatism marches on.  They have not even tried to reform their party.  They haven’t even looked in the mirror yet, and they keep doubling down on stupidity.

Never has Beck and Cowan’s Spiral Dynamic Theory been so pronounced as during this GMDD-10 conflict.  Everyone followed the playbook to a tee. The Republican base, in lockstep with Fox News, was immediately outraged by a non-story. This is predominately blue (fundamentalism) with a good chunk of orange (entrepreneurialism) thrown in for good measure.  Also, to be clear, they represent the shadow side of both of these levels of consciousness (aka, the shittier parts).  This is the seemingly unredeemable group I call the Fighting Foxeteers.  Here’s the interesting part: if this many people get upset about something, what would you expect green (liberals) to do?  Start fracturing and splintering, of course.  Dean and Reid caved to the masses and then Obama, who thinks yellow on a good day (early integral), retreats to the green-meme for safety and for votes. 

I do appreciate their sentiment.  Many people are upset by this decision, so why build the thing?  Green is very sensitive to others, even when these others have officially flown over the cuckoo cuckoo’s nest.  End result, many liberals join the Foxeteers in true appeasement/green-meme fashion.  So you’re left with blue, orange, and half of green now against building the mosque (aka, most of America).  Wow!   And there’s how you get nearly everyone on the wrong page.  One of the only things Obama has done well thus far is to decrease Al-Qaeda’s recruitment capabilities.  And leave it to those America-loving-morons to even screw that up.  They’re only happy when the suicide bomber line raps around the building.  It makes them feel all snug and safe. 

What’s most unsettling is that now this new blue print can be used for almost any issue.  Aka, Fox wins and America loses.  I know, you thought they were on the same side. It was all the flag waving in the background—it stopped your brains. But through fear and a healthy dose of paranoia, the Foxeteers can win each and every argument.  Forty-percent will automatically believe “the programming” and, if there’s a perceived victim, green will splinter and cave on the issue as well—which is a recipe for disaster.  We need some integral thought soon, folks, or it’s time to close up shop.  If we give up our principles, we lose everything.  Whereas conservatives believe they corner the market on principles and things like the Constitution, they must understand that they champion only those aspects deemed useful to the CEOs of the world.  Everything else can be gutted on a whim; it’s all in the presentation.  Example: what better way to gut the rule of law then by calling something The Patriot Act?

I’m so torn…the Constitution is important, but I really want to be seen as patriotic.  Hmmmm.  What would Rush Limbaugh do? 

They will fool that group every time (See: all laws Cheney enacted).  The Foxeteers cheered as the Constitution burned, and they’ll do it again.  Don’t worry, they won’t take your guns.  You’ll hand them over when some future Fox commentator says, “Uncle Sam is giving out free firearm upgrades this week.”  Then you’ll dutifully place your AK47 on the cart during Operation Refitting Freedom

They have you all by your libertarian balls, which should not only anger your freedom-laden sensibilities, but should also inject a nice wave of homophobia into the mix.

If you lost people in the towers I can understand the high emotions this issue will evoke, but, at the end of the day, this is fabricated nonsense.  It’s the next bouncing baby ACORN.  If someone was trying to build two big Islamic domes on the spot where the buildings actually fell, you’d have a point. This is clearly not the case, so guess what?  You don’t. 

Granted, it is questionable for this Muslim group to forge ahead with their plans if 7 out of 10 Americans oppose the site.  What will their future be like if they do succeed?  They’re either doing this for a true, noble cause (religious freedom), or the red meme menace (tribalism) really is rearing its ugly head.  And, on that note, if the new mosque has ties to terrorism, shut it down through due process.  Just because Sean Hannity smears it, doesn’t mean a God damn thing.  There’s no credibility left for Fox News. For 40% of the population, credibility is apparently no longer necessary.  Hannity thinks he’s vindicated these days because the economy—the very economy he helped bring to its knees—isn’t bouncing back.  Quite a feather in your cap, Sean…quite a feather.  How’s that hopey changey stuff working out fur ya?  Do you have any idea what you people left us?  Oh, that’s right, you don’t…

 Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to bow toward Mecca (aka, Fox News headquarters). 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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