The Official Crank Manifesto 2008 “This Smells Like Ass” Top Fifteen
by Mick Zano •
- 1. Any bailout of anything (with the exception of boats?)
- 2. Not seeing perp walks of Dodd, Franks, Paulson, Bernanke, Reid and Pulosi (don’t go away angry, just go away).
- 3. Four more years of the Clinton administration, minus the guy who made it all work (Slick Willie, where are ya?).
- 4. All mainstream media for impersonating the main stream media (who are you guys, and what the fuck have you done with Edward R. Murrow?).
- 5. The U.A.W. – for ruining America’s last major manufacturing companies (can Toyota please build us a shitload of tanks for the next world war?).
- 6. The far left and far right, otherwise known as the vocal minority (shut the fuck up).
- 7. The United Nations (Mr. Trump, what could you do with an odd shaped 40+ year old building in central Manhattan?).
- 8. The idiocy of picking another woman as Secretary of State (but Mahmood, would it make any difference if I said my boss is a man?).
- 9. Selling short (how the fuck do we allow someone to sell something they won’t own until tomorrow?).
- 10. Woman’s lib (it only counts if the woman is a lib, and men don’t think she’s hot).
- 11. Immigration (what part of “build the fucking fence” don’t you understand?).
- 12. The mideast in general (it’s time to make Fat Man II, just give Israel a little notice).
- 13. Somali pirates (see # 12).
- 14. Putin (you can take the boy out of the K.G.B., but can’t take the K.G.B. out of the boy).
- 15. My new grandson having to pay for our bailouts (why, Granpa, why?).
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