Edison’s Original Recordings Digitally Enhanced and Rereleased

Edison’s Original Recordings Digitally Enhanced and Rereleased

Los Angeles, CA—Warner Music Group has announced its success in gaining the rights to Thomas Edison’s masterpieces and then digitally enhancing them for the world’s enjoyment. The CD two set, due to be released next month, is destined to be a collector’s item, for those who really, really like collecting things.

“We did something very special,” said WMG spokesperson, Guy Wiley. “We wanted to capture all of Edison’s greatest hits without losing the historical significance of his work, and quickly, because I needed to let the dogs out by four.”

The CDs contain Thomas Alva Edison’s monumental reciting of Mary Had a Little Lamb, in all its historic glory. The CDs also contain a remix, rap version of the same nursery rhyme, like you’ve never heard it before! And who could forget Edison’s version of Little Jack Horner? Besides us. We had to Google the shit. The second CD also has a rare, never released version of Edison’s Shock the Monkey. Who knew?

Warner Music Group boasts the music quality reaches “almost 8-track level,” which Mr. Wiley claims is a marked improvement over Edison’s original tin foil-coated cylinder-format.

“Frankly, we blow the Ediphone away,” said Wiley. “It’s exciting to be a part of this, or so I’m told to say.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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