Jeb Bush Unveils Family Tree Showing No Relation to Former President

Jeb Bush Unveils Family Tree Showing No Relation to Former President

Coral Gables, Fl—Former Governor of Florida and presidential hopeful, Jeb Bush, has proposed a new family tree suggesting he is in no way related to his brother, George W. Bush. The news came as quite a surprise to the rest of the Bush family, who always felt there was some relation between the two siblings.

“As you can clearly see from this graph,” said Bush, “…uh, that Mick Zano Photoshopped onto a Holiday Inn conference room wall behind me (throat clear), that I am in no way related to my brother, George. In fact, Ancestry.com recently sent me a letter urging me to send back the leaf that represents George on my family tree. It’s all part of some massive ancestral-relational recall thing. It’s really complicated stuff involving quantum lineage, genealogical anomalies, and vodka spritzers. Bottom line, he’s not my real brother. It all makes perfect sense, I mean, the rest of the Bush’s can read and write.”

Barbara Bush, the mother of at least one of the brothers, said, “I’m happy for Jeb, because he now has a promising political future, but I’m sad for George, who only paints now…well, it’s coloring really as the outlines are already on the page. He stays in the lines, though, which is better than he did in office.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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