Socialism Isn’t Evil, You’re Thinking Of Republicanism

My friend and blogvesary continues to ignore the very parallel dimension in which he resides. He refuses to acknowledge how liberals are thwarted, time and time again, when they attempt to push anti-corruption legislation. Today’s example is ‘dark money’. Both parties use lobbyist-laden dark money, aka untraceable donations that propel their agendas, but per Mother Jones reporting over the last decade the totals vary greatly: R = $763.2 and D = $235.8. This week the Resisters tried to pass HR 1, an anti-corruption bill that would make all money traceable, but Mitch McConnell called it a “socialist power grab” …boogey, boogey, boogey! Uh, read the title of this article again, Mr. McConnell. You’re showing your horns and Mitchfork again.

This is the same case with ‘Wall Street reform’ and, hell, everything else. Dems try to make improvements/reforms, but they invariably fail to pass muster with the republican wasteland that is today’s GOP.

So let’s pick up the conversation amidst my friend’s challenge to go lie-for-lie: D media vs R media (aka, an anecdotal exercise in futility):

Pokey: That leads me to my next example:

The Associated Press’s, Tom LeBianco, asked the CNN panel: Did Russia hack the election? Entire panel: Yes. And then Daniella Diaz asked: Did Russia hack the election? Panel: Yes.

This was among other false reporting.

Zano: What? How is that false? My examples of Fox News wrongdoing thus far in the conversation were: 7 out of 10 Americans thought Iraq was responsible for 9/11 on Shock & Awe day (lying us into war) and Fox’s claim that ‘Hillary indictments were immanent’ during early voting (a media outlet’s attempt to impact a presidential election). And you are countering with semantics? Our intelligence agencies are all in agreement on Russian meddling:

“Russia’s intelligence services conducted cyber operations against targets associated with the 2016 US presidential election, including targets associated with both major US political parties. We assess with high confidence that Russian military intelligence (General Staff Main Intelligence Directorate or GRU) used the Guccifer 2.0 persona and to release US victim data.”

Whereas I agree there’s no direct evidence of voting station hacking, it does sound like the word ‘hacked’ is not the worst synonym. This is always a thesaurus game with you. ‘Spontaneous Attack’ v ‘Planned Attack’, ‘Terrorists’ v ‘Extremists, ‘Spy’ v ‘Informant’, and now ‘Hacked’ v ‘Meddled’. My scandal coverage is not word usage related. I talk about American citizens being dragged off the street without due process and tortured to the point of mental illness while you’re playing scandal spill and spell.

‘Enhanced Interrogation’ v ‘Tortured’

Fine, I concede that point, ha!

Maybe if we weren’t quickly shifting toward a self-inflicted Trumpacolypse a word game would be fun  ….but, yes. I’m trying to be ‘Kind’ v ‘Charitable’.

Pokey: Every time I bring up an example of a media lie on the Left, you justify it with your “false equivalency” claim. How are these false equivalencies? It’s reprehensible to me when any media source (Right or Left or anyone else) lies to me.

Zano: Well, there are white lies, such as, “No, Mr. Beck, that chalkboard doesn’t make your ass look fat.” And there are right lies, “We are not involved in a proxy war with Iran.” This is not only about the scope of the lie, but the sheer amounts of misinformation spewed by the right. How many thousand Trump lies = One Obama lie in republicana? This is a tougher question than that old Tootsie pop challenge.

Pokey: (Returning to our age-old BLM battle) Which one of my statements is mere exaggeration? “Hands up don’t shoot” implies submission when the evidence showed (Michael) Brown to be the aggressor, even wrestling for Wilson’s gun. Wilson lost his job over this media perpetuated lie. Anybody who researched the Covington incident for ten minutes knows that it was a lie, a smear against the teenagers. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that these kids harassed the Indian. It’s slander as he was harrassing them. And “Russia hacked the election?” mere exaggeration?

Zano: I agree, we should call out bad coverage on both sides, thus my Covington comment: “The Covington coverage was a disgrace this week, on both sides.” But these remain false equivalencies …but only because they’re *cough* false equivalencies. There’s still a difference between: Hey, every month I can find a problem on MSNBC coverage v Hey, I can turn on Fox at any given moment and throw up in my mouth a little.

Ask your doctor about 24-segment relief Zanotac.

I then suggested, instead of tit for tat, a different type of challenge. I agreed to watch Hannity that night to discuss, not the trickle of fibs on the left, but the Lieagra Falls known as Fox News.

Zano Sort Of Live-blogging/Paraphrasing Hannity’s America On 3/13.

First fifteen minutes = Fear! Exaggeration! Fear! Fear! Radical Liberals, Fear! Strzok, Page, Dirty Dossier, Fear!

OMGkill me! Why did I suggest this?

Oh yeah, the lies. Pokey asked me to point out only the lies, because to point out the exaggerations, well, I’d have Dropbox the entire episode to him complete with the label: Exhibit A-hole. I guess exaggeration gets a freedom pass on the right, because they’ve done so many positive things for our country.

Hannity: Even Christopher Steele himself, the author of the dossier, admitted the thing wasn’t true.

Zano: Umm, no. I realize Sean probably says this every night—naked and drenched in pig’s blood, under his altar of Joseph Goebbles—but Steele said the dossier was raw data that, after compiling, he estimated would prove to be about 85 to 90% accurate. So I guess Hannity’s statement is 10 to 15% true. Not bad, comparatively. Meanwhile, more and more of the dossier has proven true and thus far none of it has been discredited (unlike Sean Hannity).

Hannity: The congressional hearings found no evidence of collusion and neither has Mueller!

Zano: This is not a lie, but it’s a ridiculous statement:

  1. The republican led congressional investigations subpoenaed no one, asked no pertinent questions of any relevant players, and kept ‘Individual 1’ informed of each development, aka obstruction of justice. Oh, and they also blocked Dems from doing these same cool investigatory tidbits.
  2. The findings of the Mueller investigation have not been submitted to Trump’s next appointed lackey for the burying under the South Lawn ceremony.

This is akin to saying, there is no evidence that I lost next week’s midget tossing contest. It’s not a lie, but… Bad example. I’m banned from participating.

Then Mr. Hannity spent an entire segment bashing AOC’s green deal:

Newt Gingrich: AOC probably went to college, smoked some pot, drank some beer, and now repeats the first thing that comes out of her head. She’s a self-righteous know-nothing.

False Equivalency Alert: You may or may not have described a young AOC, but you did just accurately describe yourself, your last Supreme Court Justice, and your current president. Kudos! Can you spell projection? Your president can’t.

Retraction: I am being told The Donald’s drug of choice is cocaine, not beer.

Then the Newtster and the Seanster did the old “socialism has never worked anywhere number”. My favorite. This is also a lie (see: let’s just use the first letter of every country: C,A,A,G,I,F,S,F,S,D, UK, ahh screw it. Say it with me, gang, every other free industrialized country on Earth).

Ginrich: Look what’s happening in Venezuela. You go to Venezuela, You go to Zimbabwa, Cuba…

Zano: No, you go, Newt. I’ll be in Europe, Canada, or Australia.

Gingrich: We know they’re nuts, and our job is to prove it to the American people. We have to decidedly reject these falsehoods, so that by 2020 it’s impossible to compete as a socialist.

Zano: This is a rare true statement from Mr. Gingrich. This is what they intend to keep doing, namely, lie to the American people each and every segment, each and every night. If you tell a lie long enough it becomes true, so you can get back to the important things …like Pizzagate.

[‘Reince Priebus Repeat’ joke removed by the editor. Time to retire that one, Zano –  The Management]

And what real news did Hannity ignore tonight in favor of his pack of lies?

Omission Alert: Acting AG All But Admits He Talked Cohen Case With Trump

Then, finally, Hannity returns to the ‘phony dossier’ again, because sometimes lying for an entire segment on one topic just isn’t enough. Speaking of enough, I’m out.

[Insert Pokey’s comment on Lynch & Bill’s grand kid talk here.]

I know I keep using the same examples, Pokey, but at least they’re relevant. While Trump U insists you’re ‘winning’, Harvard has a different theory:  Misinformation is currently predominantly a pathology of the right. Here’s a word scandal for ya, look at that title. Adverbs matter! On that note, I guess you can sum up the left v right misinformation debate thusly:

Predominately v Occasionally

The magnitude and the frequency of these lies matter. Whereas I focus on the danger in the room, you stay laser focused on the perceived danger down the street. And while my blogvesary pits old irrelevant media usage issues on the docket, a spoof news guy just handed Hannity is ass …again.



*And, yes, Mr. Beck that chalkboard makes your ass look fat.


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.