Linguists Abandon ‘Shitshow’ In Quest For Better Word To Describe 21st Century GOP: Miraculousy? Shartaclysmic?

Taos, NM—Wordsmith and linguistics guru, Dr. Sterling Hogbein, unveiled his latest endeavor to search for a word that epitomizes today’s conservative party. Dr. Hogbein told reporters today, “I was having some Ramen noodles the other day when, on a whim, I added a dash of Emeril’s spice, Essence. I then proceeded to spill the entire steaming bowl onto my groin. That’s when I thought, the word ‘shitshow’ no longer captures the essence of today’s conservatism! We need a new word! Then I called 911 and promptly sued Emeril Lagasse.”

Dr. Hogbein then explained the painstaking process that has since unfolded. “I started with the root word ‘feces’ and all of its related synonyms. I then immersed myself into the subject matter by moving into the men’s room at a truck stop off of route 80. This was a dark time for me, especially due to the lack of lighting in stall three. Then I realized, I need to shift my focus to all things Donald: books, tweets, press conferences, articles. That really jump-started my vision. I attacked the problem from a combination of phonetics and meaning. The word needed to both smell and sound bad. More taxpayer-funded research is needed, of course, but I am closing in on a new word that takes the word ‘shitshow’ to a whole new level. It’s a race to see which comes first, the word or the impending political turmoil.”

As well as the aforementioned miraculousy and shartaclysmic, some other of Dr. Hogbein’s runners up are: Pooperior, shteller, foxious, and clownipotent.


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