Dr. Strained Hugs or How I Learned to Stop Hillarying and Love “The Don”

pokeyMLHow can I, a limited government constitutionalist, support Donald Trump? Especially when at times he seems akin to an unlimited government Mussolinist? Fair question. Lets first recall my political philosophy and contrast that with the political philosophy of Progressivism. As Zano would say, don’t worry, with jokes! Let’s start with my view that the Constitution is a simple document with a simple message, namely, all individuals are granted certain rights and those individuals set up limited government to protect those rights. Thus the Bill of Rights (for individuals) begins the Constitution, and the 10th Amendment clarifies how powers not specifically granted to the federal government shall fall to the state government, local government, and individuals. There is a beautiful simplicity in this constitutional philosophy. But progressives don’t dig simplicity, do they? Libs are constantly telling us how complicated the issues are, and therefore we simple folk must relinquish our simple rights to the evolved expert elites in order to solve the very complicated issues of our day.
The progressive revolution began gaining momentum at the turn of the 20th century. Woodrow Wilson (D) and Teddy Roosevelt (R) began challenging the simple basis of the Constitution’s original intent. Inspired by Darwinism, political elites began seeing themselves as having evolved beyond our ape-brained founding fathers. Progressives began reinterpreting the Constitution from a “higher more evolved perspective” that coincidentally granted more rights to the elite intellectuals working in the government at the expense of the those rights of the governed lower common-minded individuals. Sound familiar, Zano? Excuse me, I have to put my club back in my cave, so hold that thought, as Republicans apparently can’t. Thus an amendment arose granting the elite federals the right to legally take money from the common individuals. They called it a Federal Income Tax, which also inspired Steve Miller’s Take the Money and Run, for government.

In our modern world, the Federal Elite Zanos (F.E.Z.s) interpret the Constitution as allowing them to force every individual to comply with their healthcare law. Some Slow Pokey Individual Constitutionalists (S.P.I.C.s), who simply interpret the Constitution as protecting their individual rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, choose to handle their health care issues independent from the government and the insurance companies.

“Oh, no, no. The issue of healthcare is soooooo very complicated that you simple-minded S.P.I.C.s just can’t understand it. For your own good , we’re going to mandate that you participate in our healthcare plan, or else we shall charge you with a ‘shared responsibility fee’, submittal in cash, check, or money order.”


The S.P.I.C.s object, arguing that taking money from a person without a principled reason is theft. The F.E.Z. responds with a a thousand page, and quite “complex”, document explaining how the “nontaxable, non-consensual bureaucratic transfer of funds with unspecified justification is far too complicated for us to explain to simple minded S.P.I.C.s. The F.E.Z. does make it crystal clear that “the failure to pay the ‘shared responsibility fee’ will lead to the S.P.I.C.s incarceration.”

So what are the reasons that Pokey will vote for Trump?

REASON 1) Payback:
Trump may not have any more respect for S.P.I.C.s than does the F.E.Z.s, but it seems that the very idea of a Trump presidency makes many of the F.E.Z. types physically ill, so consider Trump your ‘Shared Responsibility Fee.’
REASON 2) Hypocrisy:
The Democrats bring up the birther issue to prove Trump’s a racist. They also point to a ten-year-old private conversation of The Donald talking about grabbing a woman’s pussy to prove he’s a sexist. But the Democrats are the party of racism and sexism. The Democrats fought for slavery and instituted the KKK. They are the party that opposed the 14th, 15th, and 16th amendments; the party that fed birth control to the “undesirable” races; the party that grants preferential treatment of abortions to black babies; the party that fosters fatherless blacks forever enslaved to welfare and entitled-mentality. This same party is gonna accuse Trump of racism? Kathleen Willey claimed that Hillary Clinton launched a “terror campaign” against her after Bill sexually assaulted her. Juanita Broadderick said that Hillary Clinton threatened her in person after Broadderick accused Bill Clinton of rape. I know that this sort of hypocrisy doesn’t bother progressives. WikiLeaks could release emails showing that Hillary purchased sex-slaves from ISIS to offer to Bill as an anniversary present, and it wouldn’t phase the Zanoites. Trump is the sexist woman hater? Excuse me, for years Zano used the same secret handshake among friends as the Little Rascals did for the He-Man Woman Haters Club. Mr. Assange will be releasing more on this shortly. You’re going down, Zano. No really, there are allegations of that as well.

REASON 3) Immigration:

Is there a correlation between our nation’s immigration policy and the rise in terrorist attacks? Is there a correlation between immigration and identity theft? Is there a correlation between immigration and sex trafficking? Over the last 50 years, the United States’ immigration policy has led to the most dramatic shift of an ethnic composition that any country has ever experienced short of a violent invasion. Is there a correlation between Ghetto Shaman spiritual naked volley ball retreats and teen pregnancy? Instances have spiked, pardon the pun.

The 1965 Immigration Act led to family reunification policies, allowing the entrance of relatives of recent immigrants. With this act, politicians began interpreting the 14th Amendment, which granted citizenship to former slaves, to also confer citizenship to anyone (even children of illegal immigrants) born in the United Statesthus the birth of the “anchor baby.” Only a cool-aid drinking legalistic lib lawyer (LLL) could insist that a family who breaks the law to come to this country would be granted the reward of a naturally born citizen infant. But that captures the essence of the suicidal status quo of today’s political culture. Throughout the 70s and 80s our national leaders began expanding taxpayer assistance programs for new citizens as well as illegals. In the mid-80s, people pressured their politicians to address the growing problem of illegal immigration, and our noble leaders responded in 1986 by passing the Simpson Mazzoli Act that promised to end illegal immigration forever by first granting amnesty to those illegals already here, and then it was promised that border security would follow.

And what happened? Comprehensive amnesty was granted, but border security was ignored, effectively further encouraging illegal immigration. In 2006 politicians, like then Senator Hillary Clinton, praised and passed legislation that would build a wall to stop the influx of illegal immigration. Of course it never happened. And now politicians like Clinton continue to talk of more amnesty with lip service promises of border security. People who still have common sense realize that immigration is a war technique used by our nation’s enemies. If we continue down this path, our republic will eventually die. I see in Trump someone who may actually address this issue to save our nation.

REASON 4) The Supremes:

Progressive judges believe that the courts are to be used as a way of passing progressive policy (abortion, gay marriage), while orthodox judges believe that politics is to be legislated at the state level. Roe vs. Wade is the perfect example. At the time it was passed, 40% of American women had the legal right to an abortion during the first trimester of pregnancy. If you believe that the right to an abortion should be granted to all women in your state under all circumstances then argue your case to your fellow citizens and then elect legislators who will make that happen. The Democrats believe that federal judges can make decisions like Roe vs. Wade that will be imposed upon all Americans. That is unconstitutional. Oh I forgot the F.E.Z. has evolved beyond we simple-minded constitutionalists and therefore they have the right to impose their will upon the lesser evolved S.P.I.C.s from the power granted the nine unelected elite judges.

REASON 5) Corruption and Collusion:

Bill Clinton met with Attorney General Loretta Lynch while Hillary Clinton was being investigated by the FBI for obstructing justice. I was always suspicious of the media showing us how Donald Trump promoted violence at his campaign rallies. After all, the protestors went to Trump’s rallies with the intention of inciting violence. The recent video release of Project Veritas shows Democratic operatives bragging about receiving funds from the DNC and Hillary Clinton that actually paid these “protestors” to incite violence at Trump’s rallies so that the news media could characterize Trump’s supporter as “violent.” Does anybody doubt this? And what’s up with the IRS? Last election it was discovered that the IRS targeted conservative groups, this election they actually have the balls to target the Republican nominee. And just a side note, could anyone name one sitting president who actively campaigned for their party’s next candidate? President Obama, get the hell back to work. The DNC and the Clinton Foundation are in cahoots with the IRS, the attorney general, the FBI, the professional protestors, and 90% of the mainstream media. We live in a banana republic, and Donald Trump is our only hope to break through this tyranny.

Yes, Trump’s a risky pick and he may end up being a dictator, or just a dick, especially if you end up on that guy’s “enemies list.” Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get much worse than your next IRS audit. Yes, he may end up dropping a nuke on the target of his latest tweet rant, but that’s the chance we have to take.
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