World Economy so Bleak Japanese Cheer Godzilla’s Return

Yesterday marked the first time that crowds did not flee in panic over Godzilla’s emergence from Tokyo Bay.  The day ended in the loss of over 1000 points in their stock market, as well as the destruction of nearly half of the Island of Japan.  The change of heart comes as Japan’s stock market tumbled for the third straight week.  “No one would be able to leave the island anymore to flood foreign tourist attractions, and ‘death by Godzilla’ sure beats jumping out of a window,” states Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso.  “Besides,” continues Aso, “fire is an act of purification…if, said fire, is coming out of the mouth of a seven story lizard, so be it.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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