While stomping for crowds in central Pennsylvania earlier this week, Senator Obama clarified his unfortunate remarks made earlier in his campaign. “When I said that you Pennsylvanians get bitter, and cling to your guns or religion, I forgot to add drugs and moonshine.” Obama made it clear he wanted to set the record straight, “Many of you young redneck bumpkins are now a bunch of strung-out slack-jawed junkies, and I want you Bible thumping hickwads to know that when I’m elected president I’ll be in your NASCAR-watching opossum-eating corner.”