Santa Monica, CA—Billionaire and SpaceX owner, Elon Musk, is blaming an employee for a glitch that sent his ride into space on Wednesday. After the Falcon Heavy blasted off with his car, Mr. Musk found himself with no ride from the launch pad back to his mansion in Bel Air. One onlooker was hesitant to pick up the mogul, because, “He looked a little too yuppie, and out of place with his obviously Photoshopped cardboard sign.”

Musk told reporters, “Yeah, I drove the car to the rocket and then I was like crap. I’m as embarrassed as anyone about this.When I get back to the office I’ll fire my secretary…into space. I tried calling my friend Sally, because if I got a Sally Ride home I could say it was a theme thing, but she went to voicemail. Then I was going to just Uber, but I couldn’t load the app properly on my iPhone X. I’m not good with technology. Besides, I don’t carry cash. I am the only person on the planet authorized to carry actual bitcoins around, but most taxi’s can’t break a thousand.”

Donald Trump tweeted, “Smooth move other Rocket Man! If you leave that piece shit car in space, I’m getting NASA to send a meter maid up there and ticket your ass #ParkingSpaces #ElonRidesMatter

*Hat tip to our own Mr. Sherman for the concept.