Political features and current events

Total (Over) Lording Deniers

Pokey McDooris

The evidence is conclusive. All of today’s best minds have reached a consensus that the current administration is demonstrating totalitarian tendencies that clearly violate its constitutional limitations. If these totalitarian tendencies are not addressed, we are in jeopardy of experiencing rising lies, increased tumultuous social storms, and global warring that threatens to destroy our republic. Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria.

But even when confronted with all of the obvious evidence, there is still a significant number of pseudo-rational individuals who deny the totalitarian over-lording that operates from within our government.

What is this evidence?

Let’s start with the IRS scandal. Oh, I can hear the deniers now: “This is all just manufactured lies from the racist right-wing conspirators who slander poor President Obama because they’re all jealous of how good a job he’s doing.”

Just humor me. Starting back in 2010, the IRS began flagging applications from groups with political references in their name like “we the people,” “take back the country,” “tea party,” and “patriot.” Strictly bi-partisan, of course. When Lois Lerner was asked if the IRS had targeted liberal groups, she said, “I don’t have any information on that.” Why thank you, that’s very helpful. Now, these flagged groups were given a more rigorous review than those not flagged. Former IRS commissioner, Douglas Shulman, initially denied that his agency was targeting conservatives. “Why we would never dream of doing such a thing.” Then he promptly retired.

The recent information that Congress has finally obtained from the IRS shows that after the “flagged” groups provided their information to the IRS, 1 out of 10 was subjected to auditing. That’s ten times the rate of the average citizen.

The message is loud and clear–be careful what you say and who you support. The big question remains: is the IRS auditing connected to the White House? I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that they have drones and don’t even have sufficient wall insulation. What we do know is that the former IRS commissioner, Douglas Shulman, visited the White House (at least 147 times) more than any of the most trusted members of the President’s cabinet. Shulman initially spoke words inconsistent with reality (lied) about the targeting, and Louis Lerner at the Congressional hearing has so famously refused to answer questions on the matter. I know what you’re thinking, “What difference does all that make now?” I don’t know, but that brings us to our next piece of evidence.

The Benghazi attack took place on the nine year anniversary to the World Trade Center terrorist attacks, yet for many months after the attack had taken place, a large portion of the American population believed that the attack was caused by “a heinous and offensive video.” Now listen up you deniers, even if the people who attacked the Benghazi base were angered by an anti-Muslim movie, SO WHAT! Why does our administration feel compelled to seek an excuse for people who commit acts of violence against innocent people? When if I started killing people after reading “a heinous and offensive parody website?” Would I be justified? Well, in the case of the Discord, maybe.  Would the website be at fault? Would it be accurate to report that the “offensive website” caused the violence? People, the answer is “no.” There is no excuse for unprovoked violence, so when our President and his helpers make these kinds of excuses, they embolden such violence and weaken our security. And that’s my job.

After Salman Rushdie wrote The Satanic Verses, what if our leaders had reported that the 6 million dollar price placed on Rushdie’s head was caused by an “offensive book.” Well, make no mistake about it, that’s how Islamic fascists saw it–they were justified to kill Rushdie for his “offensive book,” just like they were justified in attacking Benghazi because of the “offensive video,” and they were equally justified in attacking the world trade center because of the United States’ “offensive foreign policy.”

There is a current trend in our culture to embolden irrational rebellion. For example, I’ve noticed that many public school teachers have been taught flawed methods for addressing defiant behavior in our youth. This method is played out something like this: “Now Johnny, what have we done to make you so angry? Why do you want to tear up your homework and throw it in my face? Now, if you keep attacking the teachers, you won’t earn your stickers and prizes.”

Many of our elected officials have been taught these same flawed methods for addressing the defiant behavior of our mortal enemies. This method plays out something like this: Now Abdul, what have we done to make you so angry? Why do you want to burn our flag? Is it Zano again? He is thoughtless some times. If you keep killing our ambassadors, we’re gonna have to cut off your billions of dollars in aid.”

Now, I want you all to open up your minds real wide. What if…I know this is gonna sound crazy, but what if Benghazi wasn’t just an overcritical movie review (thumbs way down)? What if the Obama administration, along with the CIA, knowingly crafted a false narrative in order to cover up the real happenings at Benghazi? No, really, I think it’s possible. I also think that, just maybe, the CIA was shipping arms from the facilities in Benghazi to al Qaeda mercenaries in Syria. Yeah, I know that it’s against the law to provide weapons to known terrorist groups, but sometimes I think that the President doesn’t care about the law. Why did the administration lie about the terrorist attack? That’s a good question. I think that if all the information was uncovered, it would have jeopardized President Obama’s chances for re-election. Yeah, I know that would have been dishonest, but I think that maybe President Obama is not really as trustworthy as he appears.

Oh yeah, and I don’t think that Fort Hood incident was really ‘workplace violence’ either, and what happened at the Boston race was more than just an athletic injury. And the incident at the last Discord Christmas party was not just…well, that was workplace violence.

Declare War Not Bankruptcy

Pete Christensen

Since America’s inception, bankers, businessmen, and other criminals have preyed upon the middle class as well as the uninformed, while lining their already bulging pockets. I don’t advise anyone to climb into the same sewer these scumbags inhabit—no, I’m not talking about Discord headquarters—but there’s no reason you shouldn’t be educated enough to fight back. Don’t declare bankruptcy before reading this post!

Bankruptcy was meant to be a way to keep communities together through forgiveness. In the Old Testament the practice of excusing all debt every eight years was known as “Jubilee”. The Daily Discord’s Jubilee is a very different beast and is thankfully not mentioned in the Old Testament.

Abraham Lincoln, Jack Nicklaus, David Crosby, The Baltimore Opera Company, Mets outfielder Lenny Dykstra, Billy Joel, and Opera Singer Dorothy Dandridge have all declared bankruptcy. The rich have always used it as a means to keep their savings, rather than pay off their debts.

In today’s society there’s no reason to do so. The stigma stays with you for a full decade—

[Discord contributor stigma joke removed by the editor.]

Every time you apply for a job this question will be asked. And, it will keep you from getting any state or federal position where you might be compromised by debt. Going to a debt-consolidation company for protection is an even worse idea. This is regarded equal to a bankruptcy in status, but unlike chapter 13 you still have to pay the money back.

In most states if you can simply avoid your creditors for four full years, your debt is erased. That’s right, just don’t allow any creditors to get a judgment against you during that time period, and Kazakhstan is wonderful this time of year. Putin likes that country so he’s unlikely to invade anytime soon.

Once a judgment occurs, they can garnish your wages and you’ll never keep a job. Thus my need to become a freelance blogger. How’s that for a stimulus package?

Creditors can call you endlessly, mail you items, threaten you over the phone, and even call your neighbors and tell them about your debt. But, if you continually answer the phone “Who‘s calling?” and “Where are you calling from?”, it’s easy to identify the debt collectors and tell them you’re not home. It may be a lot of fun to screw with them but, remember, the poor rube on the other end of the line is just some schnook trying to make a living himself.

Besides, four years of avoiding debt in Kazakhstan will fly by, unless, of course, Putin gets antsy. Eventually you will begin to get letters offering to settle for less and less every year as the debt gets sold to different collectors. Each one will be losing money by chasing you. You’ll watch as THEY become more desperate instead of YOU. Eventually, the calls and letters will stop, and you will get that chance at a fresh start. As the Bible says it was meant to be. Well, at least that’s the way I interpret it. But I really would avoid those Discord Jubilees; there’s something wrong with those people.

Dear Fox News: Your Obamacare Lies Are Working!

Mick Zano

So the alternate reality on the right is poised to win a huge victory in the midterms. All the battleground states for the senate race happen to be in those few areas where Obamacare isn’t working. Sooooo, break systems, cost lives, create your own reality and get rewarded! …not so fast. Let’s not forget the GOP is tearing itself apart. It hasn’t had a common message that made sense since Just Say No…wait, I’m being told that didn’t make sense.

I’m still predicting the Tea Party will be the GOP’s undoing. The hard right always likes to snatch victory from the jowls of DeMint…or something. Again, I’m breaking from the prognostic guru of our time, Nate Silver, which is never a good idea. But I refuse to believe the GOP will regain the senate. I like climbing out onto limbs, especially of the Jessica Alba variety…call me.

Some Dem or another recently pointed out how republican governors—those who denied Medicaid expansion for their states—are essentially responsible for an estimated 17,000 deaths. I work in the Medicaid world and, although this is a bit over the top, there’s some truth to that statement. I know, I know, math again. Through misinformation, conservatives may have already killed more folks than Obama death panels and planking accidents, combined.

All indications are the ACA is meeting its goals and that the majority of recent news for the program is very promising, here. More people are covered and rates are, for the first time in my adult lifetime, slowing…and I’m older than Dirk…you know, that guy from Battlestar Galactica.

Some larger insurers are jumping on board and, as previously mentioned, the vast majority of hospital administrators think it’s going to help the industry, here. So despite both republican opposition and those horrid rollout glitches, enrollment numbers are…well:

8.1 Million Signed up on ACA Exchanges, 1.1 Million Over Estimates
8.1 million Signed Up on ACA Exchanges, 1.1 million Over Estimates, How will Obama explain this discrepancy to the American people?!
How will Obama explain this discrepancy to the American people?!

“It turns out that lots of people who don’t have health insurance would rather have health insurance. Who knew?”

—Jonathon Chait

So, which States Are Signing Up For Obamcare?

Obamacare Enrollment Red states vs Blue States

Unfortunately, this chart is older than Dirk. Did I do that joke already? Battlestar Repeatica? But this polarizing trend is only deepening, see: States Embracing Obamacare are doing better job of covering the uninsured, surveys show. And the only red state in the top ten of that chart is Kentucky, but only because they named the exchange site: WeHateObamacare.guv.

Well, who could have seen any red state lagging…oh, wait:

“If the ACA works well in some states and lousy in others, we can do our R and D checklist….well, some of us can. I believe it will work in some places, but not so much in others.”

“Unfortunately, I am predicting huge ongoing delays in certain square states, who simply refuse to take their socialized medicine.”

—Mick Zano 9/13 and 11/13, respectively.

This quote brought to you from 1313 MockingU Lane. What television show?! Look, the GOP said over and over again how the ACA “can’t possible work” and predicted it “would be the end of America!” There’s your first clue, kids. For all of their grand predictions…well, tell them what they’ve won, Vanna!

Since you tried to break something that’s now the law of the land and failed, you win the Senate!

Yes, the folks from the land of Neverever Right are gaining political ground. But I’m still not convinced it will topple the senate. And, if you can’t believe a spoof news blogger today, who can you believe? If this happy trend continues in Obamacare land my original prediction stands…that Sanjaya will win the 2006 American Idol crown! Okay, not that prediction. But I still believe Sanjaya!

As usual, Waldman gets it:

“The next time you see a Republican candidate saying that Obamacare is well on its way to implosion and will destroy America along the way, remember that regardless of the facts, he isn’t acting foolishly. He may be denying reality, he may be appealing to his constituents’ worst instincts, and he may be making them dumber along the way. But he’s doing the rational thing.”

Paul Waldman

In reality, we’re not really going to know for years who’s better off and who’s not. But, thanks to their steadfast republican prediction, it became reeeeeaaal easy for me. I admit I gain some of my prognosticating prowess from their ineptitude.

Look, how could Obamacare possibly be worse than the preexisting condition? Insurance rates were rising 6% per year? Less and less were insured while more and more people were one procedure away from bankruptcy. Hey, but we have the lowest taxes in the civilized world, let’s start a Tea Party! Don’t Tread on Meh?

The details of the impact of the ACA will remain complicated for a long time and republicans can’t even do simple. Here’s their summary:

Fox News Poll: Only Four People Signed up for Obamacare
Fox News Poll: Only Four People Signed Up for Obamacare…and they all hate it.
…and they all hate it.

You republican types believe a whole bunch of horse shit, but, that’s okay, because it’s all part of being a republican. As I’ve said before, Obamacare will work about the same as any other government program, which equals: High bureaucracy, but tolerable.

I agree we need good government programs, not shitty ones, but that’s all we got. I wish we were more competent, but I will continue to choose the lesser of two evils. Republicans, meanwhile, will keep trying to scrub off that 666 tattoo under the hairline and make excuses like:

“My wife might look like a dog, but she’s really a jackal, which is exotic. And, sure, Damien is going through a lot of nannies, but in the heartland we feel that’s just saving us some deportation funds.”

—John Q. Republican

Right now, all data, polls, and models predict a likely GOP senate takeover in the midterms, but models can be wrong as we have seen with the climate. Wait, I’m being told those are back on track again. So things should be heating up, politically and thermologically. By the midterms Obamacare will be functioning even better and the GOP will make the Shiites and the Sunnis seem like the Wonder Twins. Wonder Twins activate, form of prediction.

Atheism: It’s What’s for Last Supper

Mick Zano

So how does a guy deeply interested in spirituality end up championing the coming Age of Atheism? Oh, it’s easy, especially when you’re a spoof news “journalist”. But, before we get started, excuse me while a sacrifice this goat on this pentagram. Pokey, you are that goat.

One of my chief GOP complaints remains their rigidity of thought and their all-or-none thinking. Where does this problem stem from? I think some of their dysfunction clearly has its roots in Catholicism. It’s at least part of why republicans think the way they do, badly. Catholicism and Islam are the main two religions on earth with this good people/bad people, hell/heaven dichotomy and it is still shaping ideologies and legislation in the U.S. today.

“U.S. and them, and after all I’m just an ordinary Dem.”

—Pinko Floyd

Hey, at least atheists believe in science and they believe that ALL men are created equal. They also believe in public television, NPR, and no whip mocha lattes. More importantly, they believe in math, science and outcome measures. They can interpret new data into an ever-evolving position (with the notable exception of the whole mind/brain thing. Related post soon).


I was not originally opposed to voter ID laws, until I discovered during any given election fraud was estimated to occur only about .004%. That’s when I realized this was more GOP game-rigging (See: Gerrymander 2: A Good Day to Lie Hard) so my position changed. But, if the new data from NC turns out to be accurate, here, I may change my opinion again, especially if it turns out to be even more widespread. But I will reserve judgment as 95% of the stuff covered on Fox News tends to be of the bullshit variety. Yet all along the GOP’s solution to .004% voter fraud was to cover each instance, one at a time…this will explain it:

Dear GOP,

If 130 million folks voted and there was an estimated .004% fraud, if you cover each of the 5,200 stories separately, it doesn’t change the overall amount.



Evolving positions on the right are almost unheard of. So, minus any evidence, this ID vendetta was designed to disenfranchise our poor voters. Nothing more. Blessed are the…Your paperz, bitte! I believe that ploy was from Josh’nya or was it Dontvoteicus?

If the Foxeteers don’t have any real evidence, they just click on the Breitbart.coms of the world and voilà, instant evidence! It panders, it slanders…and look at that shine! No matter what data emerges the vast majority of republicans are incapable of changing their views. Republicans take their propaganda on faith. There’s at least a five year half-life on any botched issue and by the time they figure it out, who cares? Benghazi! Today’s republicans make Douglas Adam’s Golgafrinchnans seem like the High Elves of Rivendell (who legalized, apparently).

Oh, and how about that recently unearthed 2nd century evidence suggesting Jesus had a wife?

Jesus was married

This parchment was coincidentally released right around the same time that Jesus stopped hanging around with all those sinners and prostitutes. This excerpt from the lost Gospel of Huggy Bear:

“Sorry, guys, ahh she kinda funny.”


“Yeah, everybody funny. Now you funny too.”

—George the Apostle

And then Jesus said, “Blessed is the steady booty” and no one saw Jesus for a time.


But don’t worry about Climate Change, God will send another Moses to cool the oceans, or if they get too acidic Jesus will turn it into a nice merlot, or if it starts to rain too much another Noah will gather two of every iPhone app so they can eMate.

But remember, kids, under no circumstance drink and then try to walk on water. It will end up on YouTube.

Also, atheists are a surprisingly ethical bunch, which at first sounds counterintuitive, like conservative wisdom. Take Christopher Hitchens for example; he created a much more sensible 10 commandments before he went to meet his…oh (throat clear). How could his rules be more relevant than God’s? Full Zano story on here. Most of God’s 10 commandments are meaningless in 2014, like our Constitution. I kid the patriots.

You shall not covet thy neighbor’s ox? Really? Well, once during a Google search I saw something pretty horrific, but I think such things go without saying, aka, no coveting that shit. But, really God? Did you have to carve that into a tablet? (Throat clear)…er, what does covet mean again?

Religion’s main affront to humanity is how it invariably turns out-group members into monsters, which is a source of much of the strife in the world today and, coincidentally, a main theme for Fox and Frauds. More “primitive” cultures, who employ hallucinogens in their sacred rights and/or individuals who meditate, tend to move beyond fundamentalism and embrace some form of humanity’s interconnectedness. Atheists are more likely to squat on a mat for the science-backed benefits of meditation than Christians. A form of Unity Psychology is our future…that is, if we have one. Many more tribal cultures believe in the oneness of all things and, by the way, so did the Gnostics, better known as the people who invented Christianity. Unfortunately, their Frankenstein Monastic wandered away from the castle and started terrorizing the planet.

So I appreciate the work of Hitchens, Dawkins, and Harris. Atheism and the leading edge of human knowledge seem married at the moment. And, in a world getting dumber by the second, they give me some small hope for mankind. Many of our atheists are our best and our brightest; they are dizzying intellects who I just happen to be smarter than (cough). I agree with them on this much: we must move passed this “we have the ONE true answer” dogma, or:

“The Indians once called a great council (to discuss their origin myths) as they sat around a fire the Dakota people talked about how they rode in from the Black Hills on purple horses before time and when they finished their story, everyone said, ‘Great story! Great story!’ And then when the Cherokee spoke, they told a story of how their people emerged from a cave, everyone said, ‘Great story!’ And when it came time for the priests to tell their story, they told of the Garden of Eden and of Adam and Eve, and everyone said, ‘Great story!’ Then the next tribe started to tell their story and the priests said, ‘No, no. No more stories. Our story is the only story.’ And the Indians were like, ‘Who invited these guys?’”

—Tom Blue Wolf, Mythic Journeys (2009), paraphrased.

That fear of out-group is organized religion’s biggest problem and, coincidentally, republicans and coincidentally the worlds. It stops the move from ethnocentric to more worldcentric thinking. If we don’t start working together as a global community, it’s going to be bye-bye time. Working together will improve our chances of navigating the rough waters ahead. The only thing stopping us right now is religion and capitalism—the GOP’s dynamic duo—mainly because:

A. There’s no money in saving the Earth (an excerpt from the Gospel of Koch), and:

B. Resources, reshmources, why bother? Jesus is returning soon to suck the faithful into heaven with his Holy Hoover.

Thanks to such reasoning, here we are today, so far behind the 8-ball it would take the aid of the Hubble telescope just to see the town the pool hall is in. I believe there’s some hope in parts of the new age movement (check Reality Sandwich and a related Pinchbeck post, here).

As for the Dawkins and Harrises of the world:

“For the most part, I agree with them. Belief in God is not required and it’s the cause of so much suffering around the world via religious extremisms. However, their approach is too fundamentalistic for my taste.”

—Ken Wilber

So Wilber would likely agree with my “Sure beats Huckabee” pro-atheistic last post snark (PALPS). Dawkins’ approach, in particular, annoys me the most. He captures the essence of scientism. Indeed, there’s even fundamentalism in science. He wants to rid the world of all hocus pocus and all mumbo jumbo, even the stuff he hasn’t bothered to look at or study! And, as for Mr. Hitchens, see my Hitch is Not Great: How Rationalists Are Wrong About One Thing. But at least atheism continues to wage an important unholy war on organized religions:

“Today, every one of our great traditions is in profound disorder. What have been taught as their basic truths seems to no longer hold. Cultures move from a deep spiritual impulse, lyric moment that creates the form of a culture, to more pragmatic consideration.”

—Joseph Campbell

Campbell assigns no blame for this natural societal shift, or as Forrest Gump once said, “Shift happens.” Enters a true pragmatist, Barack Obama, a man thwarted from the onset by the faithful. Why? Because to them he is the personification of some out-group and he’s in the White House!

“So the new mythology to come must be a global mythology, and it’s got to solve the problem of the in-group by showing that there’s no out-group.”

Joseph Campbell

There is no They…except maybe in that John Carpenter film, but that’s different. So is Them, for that matter, and giant ants aren’t even mentioned in the Bible. An oversight? Blessed are the radioactively enlarged ants? Well, God’s not bugnipotent, that’s for sure.

Atheists are much more open to this worldcentric model and they’re less likely to go to war than those still deluded by fundamental religions. And that’s not to say all religious folks are delusional. Christ-consciousness is Buddha consciousness is the Tao, is the way. It’s just that Christ consciousness has little to do with today’s Catholicism, at least for the vast majority of its members (see: the 700 Club).

The right’s ability to get it wrong, every time, is astounding and only with help from the faithful could they be so blinded. Take the death penalty. Who’s for that? Christian conservatives. But it costs society more in legal fees and appeals than if we just let them rot in prison. So it doesn’t even make sense from a fiscal standpoint. Not to mention those wrongly fried. And what about Thou shalt not kill? Are you going to ignore the only commandment that makes sense? Is there a footnote or an asterisk on the tablet that got chipped off?

And step away from that ox, Pokey!

Such fixed beliefs only become barriers to Wilber’s worldcentric level, to pantheism, to unity psychology and to the perennial philosophy, shaken not stirred. In fact, they become a barrier to solving the greatest challenges of our time.

“Science doesn’t have all the answers but fundamental religions don’t seem to have any.”

—Mick Zano

The world will be a much better place when we leave religious intolerance behind for a more meaningful spiritually. Embracing atheism, aka reason, may well be an important step:

“Your old road is rapidly agin’, please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand, for the climate is a-changin’.”

—The Gospel of Bob

This is not an actual Zano rebuttal to the recent Pokey McDooris’s post, here, as both contributors decided independently to discuss atheism as their next topic of interest. They both picked on Dawkins, they both mentioned the Hubble, and they were apparently both separated at birther. So I propose, rather than another round of dim-witticisms, we have the deciding post via Skype or some other mediated forum. Cokie? Can you handle these bozos? Meanwhile, any attempt at rebuttal posts from you two knuckleheads will be immediately sent to the Discord furnace, deep in the bowels of the asphalt jungle known as Philadelphia.

Godless speed,

Pierce Winslow

Atheism Is Dead: Don’t Believe the Unbelievers

Pokey McDooris

Pinning down your logical fallacies, Zano, is like playing Whack-a-Mole with a Q-tip, on acid, while surfin’ the web on an outdated Blackberry, while trying to sign up for Obamacare—early on in the enrollment period—and throw in some more acid…but worse.

I’m just gonna focus on whacking one mole at a time. Let’s start with your absurd claim that we are entering the Age of Atheism. If our country really is entering the age of atheism, then how do you explain the American people electing such a devout Christian as Barak Obama? Remember his words, less than six years ago, while he was running for office, and he was asked his opinion about gay marriage; President Obama answered, “I personally believe that marriage is a union between a man and a woman; and as a Christian, I believe that marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.” If we were truly becoming an atheistic nation, would we have elected someone who publically professed such a traditional faith? (This is called ‘irony’.)

You claim that all cultures eventually tend to shift toward liberalism and that atheism is potentially an evolved worldview. Name one evolved atheistic culture in the history of humanity? Atheistic liberalism is equivalent to brainwashing. It was brainwashing when Stalin did it; it was brainwashing when Mao did it, it was brainwashing when Castro did; it was brainwashing in Lesbos, that Greek island inhabited by all those beautiful…wait, I kind of get that. But it’s brainwashing now.

Just to prove my point, let’s take a look at Little Johnny’s atheistic education.

“Little Johnny, we know that your foolish parents have taught you that there is an invisible Creator called God–just like they taught you about that silly Santa Claus and his cohort, the Easter Bunny–so we’re here to teach you that you’re parents are ignorant fools. You see, Johnny, the consensus of expert scientists agree on the fact that human beings are mere complex apes that arose from random chance mutations on this tiny speck of a dust called Earth. We’re just circling around a sun as one of billions in this vapor fart-cloud of a galaxy that is but one amongst billions of others galaxies in this black empty universe. Essentially we popped into existence, like one of those breakfast cereal elves.”

Yes, we know how to snap, crackle and pop Little Johnny into shape, so that he will be best equipped to compete in the modern day economy. Oh, he feels a little pressure as his brain is pinched tight until the juice drips to fit the bubble. “So Little Johnny, you’re feeling depressed and stressed from the standardized test. Well, the doctor can prescribe you the THC ‘chill pill,’ and we’ve got the federally funded ‘munchie break’ between breakfast and lunch. Oh, and it’s a bummer that we’ve eliminated recess, but you can burn off some steam in Sex Ed. with our state of the art ‘hump dummies,’ or head over to the cross dressing, same-sex fondling room. You don’t know where that is? Right passed the transgender and metrosexual restrooms. You see, Johnny, it’s best that you explore the full gamut of your sexuality so you can come to an educated decision as to your sexual orientation.

Atheism’s time is over, but some ideas don’t die easy. Zano assures us that our society is becoming Atheistic, and I agree…that our society is being brainwashed by the dead ideas of Atheism, Darwinism, Communism and Overt Zanoistic Hedonism (OZH). Although, I did have fun at that one party, but then I had to spend all Sunday in confession.

Look, atheism has never made an affirmative claim, it merely denies the existence of a theistic God and an intrinsic purpose to life. Modern atheists speak with such arrogance when confronting those silly superstitious people who read their Bibles and talk to their invisible God because of their fears and inadequacies. What modern atheists don’t tell you is that the scientific evidence over the past century points clearly in the direction of theism.

When an atheist use to ask, “Where did the Universe come from?” They would reply that the universe is “infinite, and has always existed.” This was called the ‘Steady State Theory,’ and this theory was held by many within the scientific community. I say ‘was held’ and ‘was called’ because no reputable cosmologist holds that position today, because the observable evidence has proven this theory to be false.

The Hubble Telescope has shown humanity that the galaxies are moving away from each other with increasing speed. Cosmologists mathematically plot the movement backwards to a “singularity point” where all matter was on top of each other –13.74 billion years ago. Thus we now have scientific proof that the first three words of the Bible, “In the beginning…” are in fact true, and truth-seekers are compelled to ask if the fourth and fifth words of the Bible are also true. And let’s not forget the dedication page, To my Loving Wife, Barbara. I admit that part of the Bible code has not been cracked.

Recent scientific investigation has uncovered the structure of DNA and it’s far more complicated than Darwin ever imagined. Unlike mere molecules, DNA actually stores information. Nowhere in nature has matter been found to ever give rise to information. Information comes from intelligence. This discovery of the complexity of DNA has led many scientists to question the theory that proposes “origin of species” and “natural selection” and “random chance mutations.” Dr. Fred Holye says “bio-materials with their amazing measure of order must be the outcome of intelligent design.” Anthony Flew said, “The findings of more than 50 years of DNA research have provided materials for a new and enormously powerful argument for design.” That’s starting to sound a lot like hate speech. Thought police alert. Hey, what happened to that grant money? But I have tenure. Hey, I even voted for the metrosexual restrooms?

Even Richard Dawkins started changing his tune: “I suppose it’s possible that you might find evidence for that (Intelligent Design) if you look at the details of biochemistry, molecular biology, you might find a signature of some sort of designer.” Oh, but Tricky Dicky Dawkins can’t leave any hope that this ‘sort of designer’ is the first cause intelligent Creator of the cosmos that many of us refer to as God. No, no, Dawkins clarifies, “Well, it could come about in the following way. It could be that at some earlier time, somewhere in the universe, a civilization evolved, probably by some kind of Darwinian means, probably to a very high level of technology, and a form of life that they seeded onto perhaps this planet.” Oh, that clarifies things Dr. D. It was space aliens who intelligently designed life on this planet.

Random genetic mutations, aliens!

You see, now, that the genetic evidence cannot be suffocated inside the stifling straightjacket of Darwinism. These atheists theorize about space aliens–that’s their God, anything but the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Okay, Ricky, I’ll humor you. Let’s say that life on Earth was intelligently designed by Evolved Space Aliens–then who or what designed the life that became the Evolved Space Aliens?

Crickets….crickets…and more crickets…followed by doubletalk, distraction, chit chat about the weather (global warming, no doubt), and change of subject. On this question, I have yet to get any coherent response by the proponents of the ‘Space Alien God’ (SAG) Theory. 

This brings me to my last point–the discovery that the conditions for supporting intelligent life is so very, very rare. The earth is indeed a very lucky (or very blessed) planet. When cosmologists first realized the vastness, diversity, and scope of the universe, most assumed that life would be common. After all, our galaxy alone contains billions of other stars. Our galaxy is one of billions of galaxies in the known universe. Scientists assumed that out of so many known planets, there must be numerous cases of life at least as intelligent as ours. As Carl Sagan once stated, “The available evidence strongly suggests that the origins of life should occur given the initial conditions and a billion years of evolutionary time.”

Well, recent discoveries have found that the universe is actually very hostile to life. Life is fragile and requires numerous narrow and specific conditions to be met to make life possible. Our planet Earth has just the right location in just the right kind of galaxy. Our planet is just the right size with a large enough moon, and it orbits at just the right distance from just the right type of star. Our plate tectonics are thin enough to shift, but thick enough to be maintained. Our atmosphere contains just the right combinations of life-nurturing gasses. Yes, the more we discover about the conditions in our own galaxy and in other galaxies in the universe, the more it seems as though the origin of complex life is indeed miraculous.

So what of the numerous reports of UFOs that we hear of in the popular culture? When Carl Sagan extensively studied the details about the large numbers of modern reports of UFOs, he called it pseudo-science. “Think of how many other “explanations” there might be: time travelers, demons…tourists from another dimension…the souls of the dead…each of these explanations has been seriously proffered…” “The least likely explanation of UFOs is the hypothesis of extraterrestrial visitors by intelligent beings…”

Atheism led to Darwinistic ‘origin of species,’ ‘natural selection,’ and ‘random chance mutations.’ Darwinism led to genetic engineering and social engineering, which lead to Nazism’s ‘Superman’ and Communism’s ‘totalitarian state’. Now Darwinism’s foundation is undermined by the evidence, which suggests an intelligent designer; so Atheists seek another kind of designer ‘god.’ This god will play the part to give everybody what they want. A soul-travelling pure spiritual being of higher consciousness, a remotely-viewed psychic channel to the Akashic field, or an anal-probing alien from another spoof news blog. I hate those. Choose whatever god best fits your orientation…uh, and the right bathroom.

Toast, It’s What’s for Climate

Lady Liberty Global Warming
Mick Zano

Two factions are duking it out, warmers and climate deniers. Obviously I hope climate deniers will be proven right, but have you seen their record? They haven’t added anything relevant to the public discourse since their messiah was wrangling dinosaurs. Blessed are the plesiosaurs?

Models are now predicting a game ending 4˚C hike by 2100, which was just echoed by the U.N. Oh, the U.N. said it, so it’ wrong! Granted, the U.N. is an incredibly dysfunctional group of individuals, but they make the GOP look like the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Meanwhile, a billion dollar network to deny climate change was recently uncovered, here, and I’m sure there’s equal money being spent by those cap-and-traders. The big difference? Those funding both sides believe in climate change, only one side believes in profits more.

“With all the worldwide mass extinctions occurring, dare we hope republicans are among them?”

—Mick Zano

If climate models don’t predict a 15-year pause in the warming, conservatives are right. But, if climate models do predict more extreme events, temps, and increased snow fall, conservatives are still right…er, because cold is the opposite of warm. Regardless of the data, regardless of the science, conservatives are always right—except for the whole always being wrong part.

A while back Matt Drudge linked to Obama to address climate change during coldest SOU in history. Yes, many climate models accurately predicted historic cold snaps and extremes, here, yet NASA just announced it’s been one of the hottest years on record, here. But, of course, republicans find the one former NASA scientist doubling as an evangelical kook. Have you heard this one? Roy Spencer’s claims have rifled around the net as he’s insisting all of our climate models are wrong. This guy ascribes to a universe wherein all of God’s work is “self-sustaining”. Of course the Super Novians would beg to differ, but they exploded. I guess republicans only read the NASA part of his resume. That’s still pretty good for them, small steps for Foxkind, small steps.

I recommend if an “expert” on any given issue agrees with any republican held position, before posting their drivel play spot-the-looney.

Spot the Looney

You can’t use what the model accurately predicts against it! Our rather frigid winter did not change the facts. England was recently hit by the worst flooding in 250 years, CA is amidst its worst drought in 500 years, and even my town, Flagstaff, had one of its warmest winters on record. I don’t know how many hundred year events have to happen as I finish this sentence before republicans cop a clue.


Answer: It was Mr. Green blocking the pipeline in the heartland.

No? How about:

Professor Dumb with the solar panel in the greenhouse gases?


The changing of our ocean currents and our jet stream (polar vortex) is actually further proof of warming. Chris Mooney over on Slate tried to counter Drudge’s spin with: No Surprise Matt Drudge Gets it Wrong Again. This approach misses the main point. Matt Drudge and the Koch Brothers are sociopaths. They know global warming is happening, but they are systematically muddying the waters to keep society from tackling one of the most pressing issues of our time.

Alternate street parking?

Okay, the other most important issue of our time.

They are fighting for short term profits over our future existence via the “kitchen sink” method. The GOP employs this method for everything from scandals, to the economy, to social issues. They are inundating us with anecdotal nonsense, which in the case of climate change is designed to keep the debate alive. Here’s the equation:


Debate = Inaction

Inaction = Profits

Profits = Treasure Bath!!!!!


treasure bath

Whether the world is getting cooler, warmer, becoming denser, or even going paisley, we need a War on Coal now. The GOP—or at least their “think tanks”—will continue to ignore the overwhelming consensus of science, not out of stupidity, but out of a massive spin campaign designed to keep fossil fuels alive and well.

“Wind farms killed another bird last week, so let’s go back to poisoning our water supply with coal. Are you going hunting this weekend? Hey, birds don’t drink water, right?”

—John Q. Republican

Give Charles Koch a lie detector test. Ask him if he believes in climate change. Ask him if he believes in trickle-down economics. Ask him if he believes Obama is the worst president ever. Hah! He doesn’t believe in anything except his own bank account.

The republican’s Climate Change playbook:

1. Deny as long as possible.

(See: the right wing media.)

2. Blame natural earthly cycles and downplay man’s influence

(Which is becoming increasingly unlikely, here.)

3. Say, “Well, India and China wouldn’t have changed anyway.”

(Is everything they think wrong? Apparently, here.)

4. Melt into a small pool of goo.

(Step 4 is sadly non-partisan)

Republicans are currently somewhere between number 1 and 2, the “climate taint” as it were, which is astounding when everyone else has reached DEFCON 5. Today, people are actually less likely to believe in global warming than even 6 months ago, to the tune of 7%, a trend directly due to the Fox fog machine, here. On a good note, Fox has increased their real warming coverage from 7% to 28%, per The Guardian here. Even Fox News realizes it’s time to start shifting to phase-2. When they finally admit it’s happening they will immediately absolve themselves of any wrong doing. Remember when Iraq was just some bad intelligence? …actually, it was a lack thereof. Modus GOPerandi?

Slate Magazine is covering our arctic ice death spiral here. That’s different from a death panel…in that it’s real. But the right has countered with their own important story:

“There’s still plenty of ice in my freezer, in fact, there is so much ice I am concerned I won’t be able to shut the freezer door soon.”

—John Q. Republican

The tiny sliver of climate denying studies, roughly 4 percent, is where Matt Drudge, The Heritage Foundation and Fox News mine for all of their meaningless nuggets of climate change wisdom. And they can repudiate every “9 of 10 climatologists believe” moment by finding one study misclassified.

“Oh, yeah, how about that one study from Scheister and Alarmist. The data is wrong so it’s really only 96.98% so the whole thing is a lie!”

—John Q. Republican

If a model predicts we will lose a Maryland sized glacier and we only lose a Delaware sized one, they call “gotcha”. Then they forever cherry pick quotes from that one quack on the dole. Bill Nye recently said on Maher’s Real Time, “They (The GOP) keep banking on that small percentage of uncertainty.”

Look, science doesn’t know exactly how warm it will get by 2030, it doesn’t know exactly what percentage is caused by man, it may even change its mind outright at some point based on new findings, but:


Dear GOP,

If you rarely get anything right, why are you so sure of yourselves on Climate Change?



P.S. Science is only 100% certain of one thing, republicans are always wrong.


Whereas science is currently wrestling with global patterns, republicans are wrestling with parables and proverbs. Our climate scientists are looking to understand the big picture while republicans are still staring at that bent Polaroid they dug out of their VHS tape drawer. Sorry, but we already passed the tipping point, we’re toast…and yet half our country still can’t even identify the problem? Really? So essentially the GOP won. Their plan was to keep debating until it’s too late. Remember, kids, when a republican wins, we all lose. The whole thing is almost as astounding as their economic views…well, not quite.

Reality is a hoax

Putin Is Not Playing Chess, Crimea Is More of a Fisher-Price Thing

Mick Zano

So Stalin’s plans for Russia are finally coming to fruition? The place John McCain just left saying is a gas station masquerading as a country? That Russia? The not playing with a full set of Olympic rings Russia? Wow, Pokey, that’s more of a stretch than my latest ghost/ectopilsner theory.

By the way, this is a rebuttal of two recent Pokey McDooris submissions, here and here.

So Putin is playing “chess” in Crimea? Really? I want to drive to PA, right now, and throw your AM radio out of your hut…well, after a big hug. Putin’s options suck, especially if he goes one step further. You see, the world runs on something called money—a fact your side insists upon—so the projected long term benefits for Russia, post this little annexation exercise, looks grim. He can’t occupy the Ukraine, easily, and all the other former Soviet borderlands are already sending Angela Merkel flowers and chocolate. It was a fool move, thus the right’s ability to predict it. Republicans have fool moves down to a…oh wait, they don’t believe in science.

I meant to give your articles more attention, but I went to Vegas instead. So I guess I glossed over shit, which is a Vegas Related Condition (VRC):

Take two:

1. I have a right to refuse health care: The Deplorable Care Act.

Yeah, healthcare is a real liberty wrecker.

“A version of the ACA was tried under Romney in Massachusetts and that marks the day freedom died.”

—John Q. Republican

I vividly remember the day Romney seized power in Massachusetts in 2006. The United Nations stood idly by as the unthinkable happened. In 2007 that monstrous republican governor used radiation against his own people!  …who had cancer. The hospitals were all overflowing!  …with people seeking needed treatment. Most tried to flee the state during those dark times. The image of route 90, backed up with cars bumper-to-bumper, is still burned in my memory  …I think a Red Sox game was letting out.

The Supreme Court differs with your appraisal of the individual mandate’s Constitutionality, but I too have always been wary of this part of the ACA. But at least Mr. Obama identified an important problem. Without MAJOR reforms to our healthcare system, we were on the fast track to ruin. Currently the U.S. is ranked 37th in the world and it’s twice as expensive as the next most costly system, or, as the republicans call it, the free market works. That makes me sick…and thanks to Obamacare I lost my doctor!

If the free market works, then you need to make it actually work. Fail long enough and we’ll have a Homeland Security sized HIPPA and Joint Commission. No, that’s not about legalization. I wish.

But your “leave me alone, I’ll pay for my own ER visits when they happen” is ridiculous. Thanks to something called data, we have found the vast majority of uninsured Americans will never pay a dime for their ER hospital visits. Oh, and the GOP’s recent counter proposal to the ACA is asinine, here.

The possibilities are:

1. We make the ACA work.

2. We come up with a viable alternative.

3. Healthcare becomes a right for all Americans.

4. Those poor peeps who won’t sign up for the ACA must sign a ‘don’t treat me’ waiver, aka, ‘the please die quietly in the lobby’ plan.

*which, oddly enough, is also my recent submission to Jan Brewer’s AZ State Motto Contest. The winner was Drink Water or Die. I get it; we live in a desert. I was geographically disadvantaged.

I’ll give you this much, Pokey, whereas most of the other 17-universal healthcare models across the globe are working reasonably well, the U.S. is no longer as competent as most countries. I also live in fear of the fascist bureaucracy that such a mega-health system will undoubtedly spawn, thus my initial hesitancy to endorse this shit. But I believe everything pales in comparison to electing a republican—operating solely from a false reality—as our president. Let’s see how Putin’s “chess” plays out and then extrapolate that to the next GOP frontrunner.

2. It is unconstitutional to force a person or business to directly violate their conscience:

The ACA’s mandated coverage of birth control is a sticky wicket, but I believe women’s rights are equally as important as our religious sensibilities. I almost wrote “freedoms” there, but that would be a stretch. I think Obama has tried to hear and respond to the concerns of the religious community and he has tried to strike a balance. The devout have an argument but, like anything else on the right, it’s a weak one.

If you start with the premise that every tax dollar collected, in this case for employee healthcare, must somehow be endorsed by those taxed before it’s allocated…uhhhh, what?

Let’s say someone drank too much and now has liver issues? My money shouldn’t go to his treatment, because I don’t even drink. And I’m not paying for Adderall because I don’t believe in ADHD. Oh, and the Bible suggests we stone homosexuals to death, not treat them, which could save the taxpayer tens of millions! Maybe each citizen should receive a report to see where the money’s going. I don’t want to pay for the next Discord’s ghost-investigation-tax-right-off, because they’re just sanctioned binge fests. Okay, you might have a point on that one.

Your approach is way more of a slippery slope than the alternative. Let’s allow adults to make their own decisions with their own doctors on their own legal healthcare options. Tell you what, we’ll even take it off your karma and your conscience….for no extra cost to you! But only if you act now! Besides, the Pope reminded everyone not to get too hung up on the whole contraception thing. And don’t you report to him?


Republican Crucifix

You really got a learn Photoshop, Poke.

3. As the federal government grows in power and scope, our individual liberties shrink.

Our liberties markedly shrank in the aftermath of 9/11. I seem to remember being opposed to that. But, sorry, some of them aren’t coming back.

Fun Fact:

Most Americans polled choose security over personal freedoms.

And thus far we’re losing the NSA battle. Your totalitarian watch is crucial, but once again the GOP has proved a distraction. They were reluctant, for years, to even run the NSA scandal (the only substantial Obama scandal), because they know they created the problem. Their listeners don’t, of course, but what’s new? So instead, the right just invents stuff. Most of the real reporting on the NSA is occurring on the left, but, again, Glenn Greenwald is the guy to watch.

Even the Republican Speaker of the House recently admitted the “think tanks” on the right have “lost all credibility”. If 9 out of 10 things covered by the right wing media is drivel, Obama will continue to dismiss everything they say, even the real shit. Fox News is an actual scandal’s best friend. Fox and Frauds? This is precisely why, without republican reform, we’re in big trouble. Well, I would prefer a new party at this point. Transcosmetic anyone?

4. Joseph Stalin has infiltrated the U.S. and turned our country into an amoral wasteland.

I’m afraid we’re moving into the age of atheism. I am not an atheist, but I believe if it is done correctly, it sure beats Huckabee. As per many societal models (Beck, Cowan, Graves, et al.), all cultures inevitably move toward liberalism, but whether it’s a hedonistic breakdown in morals or a natural evolutionary step for any given society will depend on how a country makes such a transition. Whether the U.S. becomes Nirvana or Newark hinges on having two healthy political parties. This has been my battle cry. Currently we have one ship listing to port and the other is currently resting at a depth below a certain Boeing 777. As usual, the republicans have mistaken the forest for the tree huggers.

On another note, you are right to point out my increasingly condescending posts, but— [Condescending remark removed by the editor.]

Back in the day, you helped me keep such rantgressions in check….until you ran off with another blogger! Website wrecker! Sorry.

In your absence our politics have devolved further, but my main point remains: no matter what events transpire in this 24/7 news-cycle world, everyone is now capable of immediately twisting these events into their own warped worldview. You seem equally as susceptible. The filters we all had are engrained in our psyches. I maintain the GOP’s filters are the thickest and the sickest. I fear they will ultimately be our undoing. And I have been backing up these claims each week with cute little graphs involving bats and poop.

Another McDooris Submission! Quickly, to the Batshit Signal!
Another McDooris submission! Quickly, to the batshit signal! See how fun that is?
See how fun that is?

The things that keep me up at night are listed in a feature here. You do not share my concerns because we now live entirely in alternate political realities. Joseph Stalin, Genghis Khan and Lord Voldormort are all strangely absent from my list of potential future crises. This week evidence has surfaced suggesting our ocean currents are slowing. This is one of those tipping points I’ve been on the lookout for. The aftermath, should our ocean currents stop completely, will be profound. As I have said before, on that fateful day, when the shit hits the Fox, you will still be allowed to rant, shoot, and worship unfettered—all from a bar if you move back to AZ. But before the internet crashes for that last time, I plan to try to desperately send you an image of a bat and some poop.

And as for your other ramblings involving a hijacked plane filled with nukes, I believe your theory has been located, scattered across a remote part of the Indian Ocean.

Crying in the Grocery Store Coffee Shop

Pokey McDooris

Ah, how I’ve missed Mick Zano’s overreaching, unfocused, condescending, and logical-less debates. From marijuana legalization to global warming to George Bush tyranny to GOP numbskulls, Zano pulled no punches to “dismantle my arguments.” Now, what were my arguments again? Since I never mentioned marijuana or global warming or George Bush or the GOP, let’s hope he posted his last article from Colorado, otherwise I’m afraid you’re going to have to pee into this cup.

From my last post, I expressed four main claims: 1) I have a God-given constitutional right to take responsibility for my own personal healthcare without being forced by law to purchase private or government insurance. 2) It is unconstitutional to force a person or business to directly violate their conscience. (ie. provide birth control to employers and to bake wedding cakes for gay marriages) 3) The executive branch of our federal government continues to exceed its constitutional limits, as the federal government grows in power and scope our individual liberties shrink. 4) The Pope does not support the ordination of gay, polygamous, transvestite, shit goblin priests.

Let’s take a finer look at point number 1: my right to refuse health care. For the last 18 years of my life I have chosen not to purchase health care, not because my employer didn’t offer it (he/she/it did), not because I couldn’t afford it (I could). In my opinion, health insurance actually makes people sick. I know that this sounds strange–but if you really think about it, to purchase health insurance is to gamble money on the prediction that in the future you will get sick. If you don’t need a doctor, or medicine, or hospital treatment, you lose the bet and lose the money. So people subconsciously make themselves sick, so that they can win the bet–hurrah, I’ve got another appointment with the doctor who always pays special attention to me; hurrah, I’m prescribed another pill that makes me feel so good; yeah, I’ve got another brain tumor that makes me forget all of my responsibilities.

Conversely, I’ve bet my whole life on my health and vitality, and coincidently as an adult, I’ve never been to a doctor (except for a pre-employment physical), I’ve never taken prescription medicine (except that given to me be the Ghetto Shaman), and I’ve never used a sick d–Ah …UHHH…Oh… MunamamunamaMuata……..pardon me, just had a bit of a stroke; happens all the time. I’ll be okay, I can type one-handed. Now where was I; oh yeah, and I’ve never even been to the Emergency room (except when I’ve been taken against my will–after a Ghetto Shaman retreat).

And what’s Zano’s refutation? “I don’t care.” Oh, well that settles it. Mick doesn’t care that starting this month, my God-given rights will be violated by the federal government that he has endorsed. This doesn’t bother Zano, because it’s a “small cost.” Zano, this is not an issue of quantity; it’s an issue of principle. If you want healthcare, then get it; but when you coerce me, or force me, or penalize me, then you have stepped over the threshold of ‘liberty and into a wasteland of totalitarianism that forces everybody to be a part of it–”one of us, one of us, one of us.” If you want to charge me for optional ER visits, I’ve got no argument, but you have no right to force me to submit to the modern healthcare ‘paradigm.’

Let’s take a look at number 2–it is unconstitutional to force a person or business to directly violate their conscience. And Zano’s refutation–a quote from the President of Family Planning saying “Religious groups have been exempt from the birth control benefit all along, and they still are. This is a case about paperwork, not religious liberty.” Oh, well that settles it. But what about Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood Company? Both companies assert their desire to operate in the business arena while maintaining their biblical principles. Under the Affordable Care Act (the Bill formally known as Obama Care) financial penalties of up to $100 per day, per employee can be levied on firms that refuse to provide comprehensive health coverage. Under the changes to ACA churches and houses of worship are exempt from the contraceptive mandate, but private run corporations are not. Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood Company are currently spending big money to defend their right ‘not’ to provide the day-after-pill to its employees.

The question is, will the Supreme Court say that Americans have religious freedom to live and do business according to their faith? And how about the Colorado cake makers who refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay marriage? The judge ordered the cake makers to “cease and desist from discriminating” against gay couples. It’s unconstitutional to force someone to directly participate in an activity that violates their conscience. So if Mick Zano and Dave Atsals decide to get married, they have no right to coerce me into baking them a double-groomed wedding cake. They have no right to force me to provide them with condoms; I won’t do it. And don’t even think about having me knit those cat woman pajamas for the wedding night–I don’t care what it costs me, won’t do it, man! I will admit they’re cute, though.

That brings me to point 3–as the federal government grows in power and scope, our individual liberties shrink. The 1st step in ‘de-moralizing’ a people is to coerce, threaten, or force them to violate their conscience. That’s what totalitarianism does; it forces people to compromise their conscience. Oh sure, Mick Zano acknowledges that this administration needs to be ‘reeled in,’ but what has he done about it. Every person or organization that opposes the Obama administration’s mad grab for power, Zano has demonized, ridiculed, and flippantly dismissed. The seeds of totalitarianism always begin with small principled infringements upon individual liberties; but once a conscience has been compromised, it becomes increasingly malleable to totalitarian manipulation, until, like Zano, they “don’t care” that people are being forced to violate their conscience, they “don’t care” that their government job requires them to gather information on their fellow citizens, they “don’t care” that they’re now taking people off to a secret prison; they “don’t care” that they’re now sharpening guillotines; they “don’t care” that they’re required to file paperwork at concentration camps.

This brings me to point 4–If Zano and Atsals want a gay, polygamous, transexual, shit goblin priest at their wedding, then don’t think about forcing the Catholic Church to oversee it. For goodness sake, man, go the Episcopalians. But I’m almost done with those cat pajamas.

The Manchurian Gutter Ball

Remember when President Obama chose to appease Vladimir Putin by not building a missile defense system in Eastern Europe? Remember the lead up to 2008 Presidential election when Barack Obama went to a bowling alley in Pennsylvania to prove that he could relate to Joe 6-pack…and he bowled a 77?

Remember when Mick Zano hadn’t drank all the liberal Kool-Aid? Oh, and remember when President Obama was caught on tape whispering to Medvedev: “Tell Vladimir that after the election I’ll have some more flexibility”—presumably to make compromises on the U.S. security. Remember when Mitt Romney in the debates expressed great concern over the threat of Russia, and labeled Vladimir Putin as our “greatest foe” and Mr. Obama so condescendingly responded, “The cold war’s been over for 20 years. Now hand me my bowling shoes.”

The fact of the matter is that the cold war never ended. Soviet-style communism didn’t die, it went underground and seeped into the U.S. educational institutions, the entertainment industry, into our political system, into social services, and it’s penetrated the American psyche. As we can clearly see in Mick Zano’s recent attempt to annex The Onion.

Joseph Stalin knew that the Communist Soviet Union could never defeat a moral America head on, and so he devised a long term plan to de-moralize us. In the 1930s Stalin wrote extensively about his goal of actively infiltrating all facets of American Society. In particular, he sought to brainwash American children by encouraging them to rebel against social, familial, and religious authority. He encouraged promiscuity among our youth. The fiend even went so far as to invent the all night kegger and then slid the plans under Mick Zano and Dave Atsals’ dorm room door.

Stalin encouraged crude art, music, and pornography. From within our own nation, communist operatives worked to destroy our national pride, ridicule patriotism, weaken our national defense, and encourage disarmament and pacifism. Here are just a few of ‘Communism’s 45’ as recorded by Congressional Recall on January 10, 1963:

15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the U.S.

17. Get control of the schools.

20. Infiltrate the press.

21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, motion pictures.

22. Degrade all forms of American artistic expression. “Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art” (See The Daily Discord).

23. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them “censorship.”

25. Promote pornography and obscenity.

26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy, and promiscuity as “normal, natural, and healthy.”

27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with “social” religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a religious crutch.

28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the “separation of church and state.”

32. Support any movement that gives centralized control over any part of the culture.

40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.

That’s a masterful plan, huh? I’m sure glad that Stalin failed. Remember when President Obama boldly drew that red line in the sand with Syria over the use of chemical weapons only to have Daddy Vladdy step in and take over for Baby Bama? I would suggest to you that Vladimir Putin encouraged Syria to step passed that red line and to call Obama’s bluff. I would also suggest to you that Vladimir Putin has been encouraging Iran to develop a nuclear bomb. I would suggest to you that Iran hijacked that bowing 777 and as the American media is distracting us by scanning the seas, Iran is planning to use that plane to create a worldwide catastrophe. I would suggest to you that Russia is working with China, the Arab nations, North Korea, and others to reject the U.S. Currency, triggering an economic collapse. You see, over the last five years Vladimir Putin has been playing chess, while President Obama has been bowling–very badly.