POSITION DESIRED: PRESIDENT OF THE DISCORD NATION

EDUCATION:

Faber College, PA: BS in Education (social sciences), with minors in marketing, industrial safety. BS, and a master’s degree in Anatomy by Brail.

I have studied the fine art of Commonsense (failed).

I have read three books (mostly).

I have a lifetime subscription to Hustler magazine, and have stayed in at least six Holliday Inns.

EMPLOYMENT:

(1998-present) I have worked in foreign relations. I have dealt with New Americans (NAs) as they try to manage convenience stores.  Most of these NAs do not speak English, have no business background, or the ability to count.  My role is to teach them common business sense, help them to embrace the American dream, and then take back their stores when they go bankrupt.

In the past I have been employed as a bartender, landscaper, dishwasher, inmate, High School Football Coach, and once made two dollars stripping, though not at the same time.

HOBBIES AND ASSOCIATIONS:

Ad-hoc lawyer, debater, writer, and normal American Beer Drinking Citizen (AB/DC).

As a bar room debater I have won over fifty debates by slipping out on the tab.

I lived for two years on small change from the town fountain, and pool hustling winnings.

REAL WORLD EXPERIENCES:

(See Hobbies and Associations)

ADDITIONAL EXPERIENCE:

Organizer and facilitator of over 100 social events (mostly keggers).

I have five years experience looking for Sasquatch, and recently began a quest to capture the Geico Money.

FUTURE GOALS:

To lead the Daily Discord Nation, using sarcastic wit and common sense, into national prominence with the ultimate goal of becoming the POTUS.  Then, with any luck, I will stop wasting my time searching for Sasquatch and the Geico Money.

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