Allman Brothers Dedicate ‘Ramblin’ Man’ To President Trump’s Latest Press Conference

Tweet Tower—Did you listen to that entire press conference? It was like reading Lord of the Rings backwards. We must get the One Coherent Thought from Mt. Doom back to that pub in the Shire! At this rate by 2020 the GOP can just legislate by scribbling their laws on the walls of a truck stop restroom. Maybe Betsy DeVos can do some in-house Sharpie corrections, or, in this case, outhouse. The rightwing brain trusts are somehow defending this new brand of regal gibberish. “Boy, he really showed them, didn’t he!” Yes. He showed them what a fucking idiot he is. It was like watching a kid with ADD trying to give a lecture on quadratic equations in a strip club. The hodgepodge of tangential falsehoods came at a such dizzying speed that Trump’s lucky he didn’t break the clown barrier. The heads of our poor fact-checkers must have been spinning faster than a pole dancer on an 8-ball. Fine, I’m writing this at a strip club. Sue me …Trump probably will.

This is why discourse is officially dead in this country. I didn’t help kill it, as some would attest, but I did predict its demise. Today, as a result, our nation is choosing to self-gerrymander. Let’s all play it safe and live around like-minded people. In this way my master plan will come to fruition: to have HOAs force republicans to register with law enforcement. It’s the same social media impetus to shift to Facebook groups, which I’m doing now as well. Ethnic defriending? Why have open discussions anymore? It’s sadly predictable and pointless, like watching reruns of Twilight with Nostradamus. For the next four years I refuse to debate the merits of anything that comes out of our president’s mouth, because there aren’t any. Kidding, he’s not going to last four years.

Breaking: Satan determined to dig out a special place in hell for FB comment-thread trolls.

Let’s not forget our president’s comments are fascist, yet somehow idiotic, thus my Ass-Clown Hitler designation. This is not just about Donald Trump as Fox & Freunde are the fertilizer that grew Herr Donald from a seedling. Turd of Paradise? Goosestepgrass?  Kudos to Fox News’ Shep Smith for his work yesterday. Shep informed the Foxeteers how Trump’s lies are incessant and often arbitrary. Shep’s like a Jew in Damascus, but it is fun watching Fox News anchors start to shift their role to Dr. Frankenstein.

Come on, Zano, politicians have always lied. What’s the difference now?

Cue Sully:

“Trump’s lies are different. They are direct refutations of reality — and their propagation and repetition is about enforcing his power rather than wriggling out of a political conundrum. They are attacks on the very possibility of a reasoned discourse, the kind of bald-faced lies that authoritarians issue as a way to test loyalty and force their subjects into submission.”

—Andrew Sullivan

Sound familiar? The Zano Nation knew what was coming for a long time (all 11 of us). Here’s a quote from an old high school friend of mine (an accomplished writer and journalist).

“Well, the same day he (Trump) declared that reporters are an enemy of the state…I went to an Oathkeepers meeting out in Dublin, CA and had to fight off a gentleman who tried to confiscate my recorder and notebook, twice, and demanded that I erase the recording of the mayor of Dublin trashing immigrants. I did appreciate the copies of the constitution that they handed out.”

—Tom Gogola

Says it all, doesn’t it? I felt the same way after attending a Tea Party rally, here. These people have hyper-focused solely on the 2nd Amendment and still managed to botch even that.

  The Constitution: you’re doing it wrong.

Under the guise of nationalism and libertarianism, the conservative faction of this country has become the greatest threat to democracy since alternate street parking. Let’s give up on the debate and focus on the mid-terms, which still seem impossibly far off. We all need to become involved in the political process! …well, besides me, of course. I’ve always had trouble with responsibility. Speaking of which, does anyone have any singles? It’s for a good cause.



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  4 comments for “Allman Brothers Dedicate ‘Ramblin’ Man’ To President Trump’s Latest Press Conference

  1. Pokey McDores
    February 24, 2017 at 10:31 PM

    “…why discourse is officially dead in this country.”
    Because people mis-characterize their political adversaries so that they do not have to engage with them over issues.
    Tea Party–“These people have hyper-focused solely on the 2nd Amendment and still managed to botch even that.”
    Quickly visited 2 Tea Party
    10 goals
    1)eliminate excessive taxes
    2)eliminate national debt
    3) eliminate deficit spending
    4) protect free speech
    5) abide by constitution of U.S.
    6) promote civic responsibility
    7) reduce overall size of gov’t
    8) believe in the people
    9) avoid the pitfalls of politics
    10) maintain local independence

    15 non-negotiable core beliefs
    1) illegal aliens are here illegally
    2) pro-domestic employment is indispensable
    3) a strong military is essential
    4) special interests must be eliminated
    5) Gun ownership is sacred
    6) government must be downsized
    7) national budget must be balanced
    8) deficit spending must end
    9) bailout and stimulus plans are illegal\
    10) reducing personal income taxes is a must
    11) reducing business income taxes is mandatory
    12) political offices must be available to average citizens
    13) intrusive government must be stopped
    14) English as our core language is required
    15) traditional family values are encouraged

    When open discourse is facilitated, the best, truest ideas tend to eventually win out. Those who seek to silence, ignore, or derail open discourse usually hold to flawed ideas that would be exposed as such under the sunlight of open debate.

    • Mick Zano
      February 27, 2017 at 6:03 PM

      This should be a feature…

  2. October 10, 2017 at 10:39 PM

    I like it when folks get together and share views.
    Great blog, continue the good work!

  3. January 11, 2021 at 8:52 PM

    Frank has been pretending not to receive his pension checks in order to talk with Sara, the customer service representative, on the phone.

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